How to Use a Dildo for Men: How to Start, What to Expect, and How to Enjoy It

Curious about dildos but you don’t know where to start? We’ll help you find what actually feels good, and no judgment—just results. 

If you’re still new to sex toys, let us tell you one thing: sex toys aren’t gendered closet items, and in fact, dildos aren’t just for vulva owners!

So, if you thought about how to use a dildo for men, or just exploring your prostate, we promise, a dildo can wake something up inside you that you never even knew about.

Let us walk you through the basics, from how to pick the right shape and size, to prepping your body and mood, and other safety bits that no one likes to skip. 

Let’s keep it fun, steady, and with a lot of lube!

Why a Penis Owner Should Give Dildo a Try?

When we talk about dildos, you might think of a toy that’s only for people with vaginas, but sorry to break your bubble, that idea is outdated. Penis owners can make the most out of dildo play too, you know. And here are the reasons why giving one a try is super worth it. 

It Just Hits That Prostate so Right

Hear us out. If you’re a penis owner yourself, you might already be aware of that walnut-sized gland inside your rectum, and if you haven’t tried playing with it, let us tell you: it can likely give you that eye-rolling, full-body orgasm.

The thing we’re talking about is the P-spot, and you gotta try playing with it at least once, so if you’re looking for the best dildo for men, then this Devil Flower is a good start. Why? Because its “base” is a bit larger than the shaft itself, so it's much safer for beginners, and we don’t want to end up in the ER, right? (Yikes!)

Our toys here at BeYourLover are generally safe enough so you won’t lose one in your “black hole,” but yeah, if you prefer to start with something more basic, then just go for a prostate massager for now.

It Kicks Predictability Out of the Bedroom

Sure, using male strokers can feel so awesome and super fun, but doing the same thing over and over, whatever that is, can make your life a bit stale.

It’s best to try other things sometimes to offer you a different flavor, and the best thing about dildos is they come in different colors, shapes, features, and materials, so there’s a lot of things to explore here! 

Just take a look at this Teddy Temptation, a silicone dildo that’s cute enough that you might wanna brag about its heart-shaped tip. But if you’d like to try anal play but consider yourself a neat freak, then this Clear Glass Dildo is the best option, and it’s super easy to clean too.

You Can Get Kinky with Power Play 

Time to get on all fours! Because if you have that need to be dominated in the bedroom, then nothing speaks louder than using a dildo.

Imagine this, you masochist: you’re being blindfolded and getting rammed by a big cock, just like this monstrous Blackfire. Just how lovely would that feel?

Dildos also work great during pegging (a vulva owner is doing the penetration), but you’ll need to discuss it together first, and make upgrades like going for a Wearable Liquid Silicone Dildo (a strap-on dildo for men or lesbians) for a pounding that won’t stop.

Dildos Can Help with Erectile Dysfunction and Other Conditions

Living with ED? 

For some penis owners, once they’ve found out that they have erectile dysfunction, it’s the end of the world, but orgasms don’t just depend on having a hard-on, because you can also keep yourself sexually active through penetration.

You don’t always have to rely on erections to get your fix.

However, you should still manage the causes of your ED, whether it’s diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, or hormonal disorders, among others, as ED can get worse with age, as per Medical News Today.

It Can Make You Feel More Confident When Doing It

Not just for pleasure, but dildos can also help with stamina, and some penis owners even swear about how it helped them control their ejaculation.

Getting used to a lot of stimulation can also boost your sexual confidence, which can also affect your intimacy with a partner positively.

But if you want to go for a realistic dildo for men with the licking and all, you’ll never go wrong with this Ugly Tongue, and it angles just right to hit and lick those spots inside.

Curious About the Dildo Styles That are Worth Trying?

The best thing about dildos is that anyone can enjoy them, and some are even designed with your prostate in mind. So, here are the most common types of anal dildo for men, but please don’t just use them blindly, because your ER story isn’t worth the TikTok clout.

But remember this: if you opted for a toy with no flared or larger base, and got stuck, first, you should relax, because being in a panic can likely make your anal sphincter work more, which makes the toy much harder to find. So keep your chill, and your partner might be able to remove it from you, but if all else fails, you should head to the hospital, according to Self.

Prostate Stimulators and Anal Plugs Give Love to Your P-spot

If you need to find that P-spot fast, or just wanna feel full, then these babies work the best, because they’re gently made with a flared base, just like this Golden Rose anal plug.

These toys are great if you’re going for targeted pleasure and if you like to feel that full-body orgasm.

Vibrating Toys to Give You That “Whoa!”

Vibrating dildos can bring this texture, intensity, and pulses on your prostate that your hands alone can’t match.

And if you need a vibrating dildo for men that lets your partner have control, then you should go for Mera, a rabbit-type vibe that can be split, and the other part can serve as the sucker or remote. 

The Traditional and Old School Dildos

These are no-fluff models, usually designed for vaginal pleasure without anything fancy. 

Traditional dildos are straightforward and a great tool to use if you wanna practice solo or just need to get used to the full feeling during penetration. 

Hands-Free Dildos with Suction 

Dildos with suction, like this Moji and Halo, are meant for slutty butts that need external force for a much more intense ramming.

You can attach it to a chair, wall, or washing machine (power it on) to add that extra roughness; just make sure to stick it to a non-porous surface. 

What are the Simple Techniques When Using a Dildo for Men?

You can try these moves to make your first (or next) dildo experience much better.

When Warming Up, Tease the Perineum

You can turn your toy on first, then put the tip at your perineum before doing any penetration. 

You can also caress the balls and inner thighs, while applying different pressure on each part as you go up and down.

Poke the Entrance Lightly to Tease

You or your partner can do this, and to create that juicy anticipation, try pressing the tip of the dildo gently at the entrance of the anus. Just play around the hole and don’t penetrate it yet, and you can also trace some circles while doing it. 

Do the Classic In and Out

After doing some prep, you can now insert the toy by holding the base and starting slow and shallow.

After inserting, try to relax your muscles, and just go deeper once you feel ready.

Using a dildo for the first time can likely be uncomfortable for some people too, but your body gets used to it the more you do it.

Yet, you should feel no pain, and if there is, stop everything immediately and assess what’s going on, because the feeling of pain might come from something else as well.

Target Your P-spot and Swirl It

To do this, first, try to lube your middle finger (or use a condom) to find where your P-spot is located inside. And once you’ve found it, insert the toy and target that area vigorously using the in-and-out motion.

You can also swirl your toy, and instead of the typical in-and-out motion, you can make swirls as you pull it out and put it in; just make sure you’re lubed up enough to prevent any chaffing in the area.

Use Both of Your Hands for That Double O

While your one hand is doing the deed backdoor using a dildo, you can also use your other hand to hold a penis stroker, like this BeYourLover Skull Man, to give your cock some love.

And trust us, doing it at the back and the front will leave you panting and asking for more!

Do You Need Tips for Your First-Time Butt Play?

First rodeo? If you feel nervous, just keep these tips in mind to help you enjoy the ride.

• Always choose a private area to do the deed, because being caught doing these things can feel traumatic, unless by your partner.
• Make sure to wash your hands and toys with soap and water, and follow all the manufacturer’s instructions; you wouldn’t like your toys to smell funky. 
• You can do some visualization by using your imagination, or watch porn to kick your arousal.
• When using a glass or metal dildo, you can also go for temperature play (if that’s your thing) by submerging it into warm or icy water.
• Start small, use simple toys and positions, and work your way up once you get used to it.
• Clean your dildo immediately after using and air dry it before storing.

FAQs

It’s my first time, so how do I know what size to start with?

When buying your new toy, go for something with a reasonable girth that looks comfortable for you, and if it looks larger than you want, just downsize and progress with size after doing many sessions.

Is anal play deemed dangerous when I have hemorrhoids?

Yes, it can irritate your hemorrhoids, so please consult your healthcare provider first; you may wanna do it extra gently by using lots of lube, but if there’s bleeding, stop doing it in an instant.

I tried doing anal play, but is it normal to feel nothing at first?

Yes, it’s totally normal, and some penis owners may need many sessions before they feel anything, so just be patient and try to adjust the angles and rhythm.

It’s Time to Put Your Dildo and Skills to Use

Now that you’ve read the tips, safety bits, and juicy techniques, you can now try them using a dildo. No more messing about how to use a dildo for men, because BeYourLover has a list of dildos that work for every person, no matter what gender.

So if you’re ready to explore more, you can browse BeYourLover for those discreet and sexy guides to make your next sessions way smoother and more fun!

Special Thanks:

Markus MacGill - Writer - The Medical News Today

Lindsey Lanquist - Writer - Self

If you need more naughtiness in your bedroom, you might also wanna check these guides to The Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life, Good Morning Sex, and How to Find Casual Partners. 

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