You’re not looking for love right now… just someone who can help scratch an itch.
You’re busy, horny, and honest enough to admit you don’t want a relationship right now, you just want great, drama-free sex. But I understand the fear. After all, you can’t just walk up to someone and ask them for sex, unless you want to look like a creep.
Yes, you can just swipe left or right on a dating app, meet people, but you don’t know if you can bring up that you only want casual sex with no strings attached. So you end up breaking the heart of your date or stay in a chaotic relationship.
But you don’t have to deal with this anymore. No more dry spells, or breaking your date’s heart. By knowing how to find someone to have sex with, you can find a partner to warm your bed at night.
The good news is you don’t have to be scared about it as casual sex is more common nowadays. After all, desire and lust are a part of human nature. You are not broken for answering the calls of your body as long as you take precautions.
A Pew Research Center survey found that 62% of U.S. adults say casual sex between consenting unmarried adults is acceptable at least sometimes (70% of men vs. 55% of women).
Research on young adults shows that casual sex is very common: 59% reported some form of casual sex recently, 54% had casual vaginal sex, and 44% had casual oral sex in the past 24 months.
So, you don’t have to hide your itch anymore, as finding a casual sex partner is easier than you think.
Did You Know?
That there are reasons some people look for casual sex. You might be asking me now, why you need to know these reasons, and why can’t I just jump to the meaty details.
It’s because knowing the factors that drive people to look for casual sex will make finding one easier for you. If you see these factors, it’s more likely that they’re down to it.
Mindset and Attitudes
People with more liberal sexual attitudes tend to report more casual partners. If you carry a lot of shame or internal conflict around sex, you’re less likely to pursue opportunities, even when they’re right in front of you.
Age and Life Stage
Odds of casual sex often increase once you’re past your teen years and into your 20s and 30s, largely because you have more freedom, money, and access to adult places and platforms..
Religion and Values
Frequent religious service attendance is associated with fewer casual partners. Not right or wrong, just reality.
Education and Lifestyle
Interestingly, adults with a 4-year degree report fewer casual sex partners on average than those with less education, likely because of career focus, social circles, and different attitudes toward risk and relationships.
Where to Find Casual Sex Partners Today
Now, things are getting interesting. In this section, you’ll learn where to find a casual sex partner.
Dating Apps and Digital Platforms
The days of relying only on bars and friend-of-a-friend introductions are over. As you know, you can find a partner with just a touch of a button.
Pew data shows that 12% of all partnered adults, and 21% of adults ages 18 to 29, met their partners online. That includes casual connections, not just long-term relationships.
If you want a steady partner to warm your bed with no strings attached, you can easily find them on dating apps.
Here’s a breakdown of some of the best apps for casual sex:
Tinder
The OG hookup app reputation still holds in many areas. It is best for high volume, broad pool, casual and short-term connections. It has tons of users, low barrier to entry. But the downside is you’ll encounter all kinds of people, even the creeps, catfishes, and those with bad intentions.
“The number 1 thing women complain about on dating apps is that all the men seem thirsty as hell for sex.
So stand out. Don't lead with sex. Lead with your personality and your good qualities…For the "what are you looking for" section, put "Not sure yet" or similar. This is the non-thirsty, classy way to say casual sex that most casual-seeking women also use.
In the bio itself I have often put something like "swipe right if you're open-minded and liberal". This seems to have given me more matches open to casual sex.
Keep it classy. Don't make this the main focus of your profile. Women are already extremely annoyed at how thirsty for sex guys are on these apps. Don't seem so desperate for it, and you'll get more of it.” - norwegiandoggo
Feeld
This app is a favorite for the sexually adventurous people, so if you’re looking for threesomes, couples looking for a third, ethically non-monogamous setups, you can find your casual partners here. The upside is that most users are straightforward about their desires, boundaries, and relationship status.But because they lean on taboo, you can expect a smaller user base depending on your location.
“Feeld is the first dating app where I feel I can show up fully as myself, ask for what I want and be received respectfully
So far only positive experiences, free of guilt, shaming and any toxicity
I’m discovering so much about myself and having so much fun” - alexandralexandrn16
Pure
Marketed almost exclusively around on-demand hookups. It is best for people who want something casual tonight, not in three weeks. What’s good about it is that very clear intent is baked into the platform. But the downsides are many users are reported to have high flakiness, the quality of matches is not that consistent, and not available everywhere.
“I (F52) met someone. We have been together a few times. We are very clear on what this situationship is and that we are not wanting anything more. I enjoy him, but honestly we don't talk a lot. We are on a loose schedule of 2x a week. We each showed clear STI test results. I just wanted to update you in case others were curious.” - Great-Astronaut-7826
Hinge
Branded as “designed to be deleted,” but still usable for short-term fun. It’s best for those who want casual but with some emotional chemistry and conversation. So, you can find higher-quality profiles here and better prompts for showcasing personality. The downside is that many users are relationship-oriented, so you must be crystal clear about your intentions.
“There are plenty of men on the apps seeking that genuine connection. I’ve met several. It’s simply a matter of finding the right one for you. When you find each other, you’ll know.
Make sure your profile is sending the right message. Choose from the men that are choosing you. Be open minded, try not to have a “type”. Know what you’re looking for, don’t settle, but keep in mind no one is perfect.” - Moosemuffin64
Related: What a Situationship Really Means (and Why It Can Hurt or Help You)
Social Circles, Bars, and the Real World
If apps aren’t your thing, or you just want more options, you can still find someone to hook up with in real life.
Bars and Clubs
Alcohol, music, and late nights have made hook ups easier long before apps existed. Go to bars and clubs that match your age and style. A 22-year-old party bar is very different from a 35+ cocktail lounge. Focus on connection first, not closing the deal in the first 30 seconds. You’re talking to a person, not ordering delivery.
Sex-Positive Events and Parties
Think kink events, consent workshops, swinger parties, and sex-positive meetups. These spaces often have built-in norms around explicit consent and boundaries. Read event rules carefully and respect them. Your reputation in these communities are important.
Social Circles
You can find a casual sex partner in your own social circles if you look closely. Center for Family and Demographic Research found about 39% of teens who had casual sex later had sex with a romantic partner in the next 18 months, showing casual and romantic paths often cross. In adult life, hookups can emerge from parties, trips, conferences, or mutual hobbies, if you’re socially calibrated and respectful.
Related: How to Build Sexual Chemistry Under Those Sheets and Connect to a Whole New Level
How to Communicate Your Intentions
Now, here’s how you can get a casual sex partner.
1. Being Upfront on Your Dating Profiles
This is where a lot of people sabotage themselves. They want casual sex, but their profiles read like they’re auditioning for forever, or worse, like they’re being coy and hoping someone just gets it.
Be honest, respectful, and specific, not crude nor vague.
Most apps now include preference labels like “short-term fun,” “casual,” or “friends with benefits.” Use them. They’re there to help the algorithm match you with people on the same page.
State clearly that you are not looking for anything serious upfront. Do not fake your profile just to get some. Do not be an asshole or a bitch. You’ll just end up hurting each other and there are lots of fishes in the sea.
Don’t treat your potential partner like an object or a service.Treat them the way you want to be treated.
2. Conversation In Person
Online or offline, at some point you have to say what you actually want. This is where people freeze up, overthink, or blurt out something awkward.
Here’s the core rule: you’re not pitching sex, you’re looking for alignment, like if you and your date have the same wavelength as they say.
Be upfront that you are not looking for a relationship right now but you’re looking for something casual, but someone you can have good chemistry with and can feel comfortable with.
When you think that the date is going well, express that you enjoy your date and if you feel attracted to your date, express it too. But be careful not to appear too creepy. And do not open up about sex on the first date.
Start small, light touch, hand on arm, sitting closer, and notice how they respond. Ask if you can kiss them, and if you feel any hesitation from your partner, it’s a better idea to slow down or stop.
If you don’t act like an asshole, you’ll get a partner who will be down for casual sex whenever you feel the itch.
Here’s a video from Boribros on tips on casual sex:
The Golden Rules of Casual Hookups
You know that having casual sex can pose risks and danger. It’s good that you know how to protect yourself.
1. Protecting Physical Safety and Sexual Health
If you want a vibrant casual sex life, you have to take safety seriously, for you and for them.
Choose a partner who respects boundaries and consent. And if you will meet your partner for the first time, meet in a public place, especially with someone you met from an app.
Tell a trusted friend where you’re going and who you’re with, share your location if possible. Control your own transportation, don’t rely on someone you just met to get home.
And as for sex, use condoms, especially with new partners. Get regular STI screenings and be honest about your status. If you test positive for something, tell recent partners so they can protect themselves too.
2. Guarding Emotional Well‑Being
No strings attached doesn’t mean no feelings are allowed. It just means you’re not building a traditional relationship.
There are two main sides to emotional safety: how you treat others, and how you protect yourself.
Be kind after sex. You don’t have to cuddle for three hours, but you also don’t need to bolt the second it’s over.
If you know you don’t want to see them again, you don’t owe a full post-mortem, but you can send a brief, polite text: Like, telling them something like, “Last night was fun. I’m not looking to make this a regular thing, but I appreciate the time we spent together.”
Do not ghost when you’ve had multiple meetups.
If you find yourself thinking about them constantly, feeling jealous, or hoping they’ll change their mind and date you seriously, you might be catching feelings.
At that point, ask yourself honestly if you can keep the relationship casual.
If the answer is no, it’s healthier to end things with your partner politely.
Conclusion
Wanting casual, no-strings-attached sex is not immoral. It’s a normal part of being human. What’s important is not to appear like a creep and you respect each others’ boundaries.
If you want to make your casual encounter as hot as fire, spice things up so there’s gonna be a repeat and you know there’ll be next time. One of the best ways to do this is by using sex toys and accessories, or trying different sex positions.
Want to learn more? Check out our tips on blowjob sex positions, positions to try if you have a big penis, best positions for penis owners, how to make vulva owners say yes to first-time anal, and dirty things vulva owners want you to do in bed.
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