Fingering Yourself? Don’t Let These Lapses Ruin the Fun!

If you think you’re nailing solo play, then you’d better think again, because these might be the common mistakes that you make. 

Nobody handed us a manual for self-pleasure, and in fact, a lot of people just learn from experience or through trial and error, and that’s okay.

Fingering yourself can be one of the finest ways to help you know what feels good for your body, but if something starts to feel “meh” or uncomfy, then you might be making a few common mistakes.

From skipping lube to not doing the warm-ups, you can always tweak things to turn your session into a seriously good time.

So, if you’re ready, let’s talk about the blunders you’re making (yes, we’ve all been there), and how you can finger yourself in a much happier and smoother way.

What is Fingering?

Fingering can literally mean giving pleasure using your fingers to anyone’s genitals, and this can involve the vulva, anus, vagina, and clitoris.

This method can also apply internally or externally, and using your fingers, instead of a penis, to give someone a pleasurable penetration, or let your digits work on the outside buttons like the clit, and the best thing about fingering is it’s always available, whether you’re doing it alone with a partner, but if you still seek something much wilder, you can always go finger vibrators for a more precise enjoyment. 

Oh, another thing, keep in mind that fingering yourself or someone else doesn’t automatically protect you from STIs, because the transfer of infection often comes from exchanging fluids or sharing sex toys, so the transmission can still likely happen, but we can consider fingering still a low-risk activity, according to Better2Know. 

Related: How to Finger Yourself: 8 Techniques for a Toe-Curling Orgasm

What are the Most Typical Slips You Might Do When Fingering Yourself?

Alright, let’s check out the most common fingering mistakes and how to dodge them, so you can make your solo play as amazing as it should. 

Using the Same Toy for Years

Take a good look at your good ol’ vibrator. Do you notice its outdated style and features that feel... kinda wack?   

Then this might be the best time for some upgrades! You can check our newest products here that will surely suit your lifestyle and wild side.

Most of them come in different colors, features, and sizes to fit your lady bits, and if you’re still new to the world of sex toys, you can always go for something simple like bullet vibrators, and upgrade as you go.

Your preferences and pleasure will change over time, so your pleasure object needs some upgrades too.

Not Washing Your Hands

You can imagine the vagina as a single forest with its own ecosystem, and using your dirty hands can disrupt the balance of bacteria and can expose you to a lot of infections.

To prevent this from happening, always wash your hands with some soap and water before and after touching your privates, and this goes to your vibrators and dildos too, to help keep your bits happy and healthy.

Using the Same Finger Over and Over

Using the same finger to penetrate or play with the vagina after doing some anal play will always be a no-no, because it can heighten the risk of getting an infection like a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection).

According to Cleveland Clinic, once the bacteria from your large intestine, called E. Coli, goes to your urethral opening (the hole where you pee), an infection can happen, and this can cause a burning sensation when having sex and peeing. And when not treated or managed, it can lead to bladder and kidney infection, which will make everything much worse.

It’s best to always scrub your hands, or any toys made for vulvas, to keep infections at bay, and if you can, use finger condoms to protect both you and your partner. 

Just Casually Skipping Lube

Having a vulva doesn’t mean that once you finger yourself, the natural lubrication will be all over, because each body is different, and the wetness level can vary.

Keep a lube close by, maybe even tuck one on your nightstand so you’re all set when the mood hits. Lube helps your fingers glide smoothly and protects the delicate skin around (and inside) your bits, so you can skip the ouch and avoid tiny tears, and the same goes for your anus if you like to switch things up during your sessions. 

Sticking to the Same Method

Focusing on just one thing and forgetting the rest can make the whole experience feel less pleasurable, and honestly, kind of tedious.

And the best thing about fingering? It lets you get creative, so you can add oral, toys, or even nipple stimulation when doing it, and give you or your partner the best orgasm ever.

You’re Always in a Mad Dash

Take it easy. Because fingering yourself should be a pleasurable experience to help you learn more about your body.

You don’t have to race toward orgasm (don’t get us wrong, orgasms feel amazing), but don’t forget to savor the sensuality of your fingering session, too, because the more you immerse yourself in the moment, the more fulfilled you’re likely to feel.

You Just Forever Do the Same Thing 

Do you always give love to your clit on the same bed, the same day, the same way?

If you always lie down on your back, then why not try lying on your tummy for a change? Or, you can use other furniture like your couch, padded chair, or even do it in the bath.

You can also do some dry humping if you want, or even do it in front of the mirror, whatever tickles your fancy. You name it.

Adding options when doing your digital sessions can be super awesome, as long as you keep it personal, clean, and always growing.

You Don’t Keep Your Vagina in Shape

Yeah, your vajayjay is super stretchy, but it’s also made of muscle. So it needs a bit of exercise to stay strong and flexible, just like every muscle in your body. 

If you’re into extended, better orgasms, Kegel exercises are your secret weapon. They keep your pelvic floor fine and robust, so your next peak will surely make your eyes roll back (in the best way).

Keeping Anal Play at Bay

If you feel like anal play isn’t for everyone, that’s totally valid; but if you never try, you’ll never know what you might be missing. 

Your anus has these little nerves that send yummy signals to your brain just like your clit, so it can be super responsive to your touches.

And if anal play feels a bit intimidating to you, you can always go for anal toys that are beginner-friendly and easy to use, just like this Strawberry-Shaped one, or this Azul if you want to add some vibes when playing.

Too Shy to Watch Porn That Turns You On

Let’s be real, not everyone’s blessed with a wild imagination when it comes to setting the mood, and that’s where porn and erotic novels come in handy.

There are lots of materials you can watch and read out there, but the most important part is how honest you are with yourself. 

If you dig anything wild like BDSM or sex with kinks, go for it, because it’s nothing to be judged about; porn is meant to help you, not hurt you.

Related: Is Fingering Yourself Normal

Want Tips for Better Fingering?

To make the most out of your next finger bang, you’d better check these tips out.

Keep Those Nails Short

To test your fingernails, try to put them in your mouth, then make some light scratches inside your cheek. If it aches, then they’re too sharp to proceed into your privates and booty hole.

So always give your fingernails a trim before you begin any session, and it won’t only prevent any mild injuries, but it’s also more hygienic.

Your Fingers Should Stay Where It Is

Maybe there are times when you get carried away, and you start licking your fingers to make you look more arousing for your partner, but stop right there. That might be the most unhygienic thing ever.

Once your touch one hole, whether it's in the vaj, anus, or mouth, it should stay right there; if you need to put it into one hole and then another, wash your hands first, but if you have no time, then use barriers to keep things spotless.

Ask Permission If You’re Doing Backdoor Play With a Partner

Please don’t just ram your digits into the stink, because it might shock your partner, and fingering anally isn’t everyone’s thing.

It changes too, so it might be their favorite part today, but they won’t prefer doing it the next day, so keep your consent active before shoving anything into their butt.

FAQs

Is fingering a normal thing to do?

Of course! It’s healthy. It’s common. And it’s one of the best ways to get to know what turns you on, and a safe way to explore your desires and your body, but without the risk of getting STIs and pregnancy, and nobody’s grading you; just explore what feels good. 

As a noob, how many fingers should I use?

Most folks prefer one (usually the index finger), but other times, some people love the fullness of having two digits inside. Other folks prefer the precision of one, or you can just try both! You can also experiment with three fingers later if you want something deep.

Do I still need to apply some lube if I can get wet naturally?

Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. And that’s okay. Your natural juice will change based on your cycle, hydration, stress, medications, even what you ate. If you feel any friction, get that water-based, unscented lube, because even if you’re dripping, lube can make everything sail smoother, lessen the tears, and boost the feeling. Pro tip: keep a bottle on your nightstand so you’re never caught dry even in the middle of your fun. 

Can I finger myself if I have long nails?

You can. But proceed with caution. Long or sharp nails have a risk of scratching delicate internal tissue, which can lead to pain, bleeding, or infection, and if you’re rocking those talons, just stick to external play (clit, labia, thighs) or wear a finger cot for internal stuff. File those edges smooth, too. No jagged corners are allowed here. 

Your Best Fingering Session Starts Now!

Now that you know the common oopsies (say goodbye to the dry, rushed, boring sessions), you’ve got the tools to upgrade your solo time. You can start to trim those nails, grab that lube, switch up your spot, maybe toss in a new toy or two, and most importantly, permit yourself to slow down.

And hey, if you’re feeling inspired to level up your pleasure game even more, we’ve got you covered. Head over to BeYourLover and peek at their fresh arrivals: from silky-smooth lubes to beginner-friendly vibrators, anal toys that don’t intimidate, and finger vibes that’ll make you wonder how you ever lived without them.

Special Thanks:

Mike Asher - Writer - Better2Know

Cleveland Clinic

Need more advice to keep that juice coming? Then check these guides to the Best Toys for Vulva Owners, Kinky Things Vulva Owners Would Love in Bed, and How to Achieve Vaginal Orgasm.

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