Because the right kind of pull can make everything else feel even better.
If somebody pulls your hair, the common reaction is to pull their hair back, not because of pleasure but because of pain. Like, how dare they pull your hair, right?
But it’s different when it comes to sex. During sex, when someone pulls your hair, you usually encourage your partner. You find it really hot. It can either be a sign that your partner enjoys sex or that they want you to submit to them so they can pleasure you more.
I know that it sounds weird. Like, really, someone’s already yanking your hair; should you feel happy about it? According to Medical News Today, research has shown that both pleasure and pain trigger the same regions and processes in the brain.
The article states that pleasure and pain are tied to the interacting dopamine and opioid systems in the brain that regulate neurotransmitters involved in motivation-driven behaviors such as sex.
So, it’s not surprising at all that the pain felt from hair pulling can feel pleasurable during sex, but not when you’re in a fight.
But although hair-pulling during sex can be pleasurable, it doesn’t mean that you should just do it however you want. You should also consider your partner. Here’s how you can practice hair-pulling during sex in a way that’s both hot and pleasurable, without being so painful that it turns sex into a bad experience.
Why Hair-Pulling Is Pleasurable
Although it has already been mentioned that pain and pleasure come from the same neural mechanism, there are other reasons for it.
It’s pleasurable if it’s a consensual experience.
Everyone has a different pain tolerance. While some are masochists who enjoy bloodplay, there are those who are just into light bondage, or who prefer something as simple as hair-pulling.
So, as long as your partner agrees to or talks with you about introducing a certain kind of pain like spanking, candle waxing, or hair-pulling during sex, rest assured that your partner will likely enjoy the experience.
Because of this, it’s important that before you add a little flavor and spice to your sex life, you talk things out with your partner. Learn what turns them on or if it’s okay for them to have their hair pulled during sex.
Because it can be pleasurable, simple as that.
The scalp has a lot of nerve endings, so it’s not surprising that a little stimulation can be pleasurable. Remember those times when your partner shampoos and massages your hair?
When your partner yanks your hair, that can be quite painful, but if paired with something hot or erotic, like kissing your neck or groping you, it can turn into something pleasurable.
You’re having sex with a partner you love or trust
Again, the bottom line is consent; the willingness to do it with someone. Exploring sex with a little bit of pain and hair-pulling is more pleasurable or even beneficial if you’re with someone you trust. On the flipside, if you’re just doing it out of obligation or as a task, according to Vox Mental Health, this can lead to resentment, emotional detachment, decreased sexual desire, and dissatisfaction.
That’s why if you want to engage in sex, whether it involves a little pain or not, both of you should be in the mood to do it. Don’t do it out of obligation to your partner.
6 Tips on Safe Hair-Pulling During Sex
It’s time to get to the meaty part of this article. Here’s how you can pull hair without causing bald spots or scalping your partner.
1. Be gentle at first
If you and your partner are new to hair-pulling, it’s best to start with the basics. Start by being gentle. Then talk with your partner about whether they want it to be more intense or if they don’t like it.
You can think of hair-pulling as a skill; practice makes perfect. By practicing, you learn and respect each other’s boundaries.
2. Aim to surprise, not hurt
The goal of hair-pulling is to provide pleasure, although it can be a bit painful. To make it pleasurable, aim to excite, not to cause pain.
You can do this by grabbing a handful of hair instead of just pinching a few strands. The more hair you grab, the less painful and harmful it is. Remember, you don’t want to scalp or bald your partner; you’re making love, not torturing them.
Aside from that, pull the hair close to the scalp. This helps prevent pulling the hair out of the follicle, which causes pain.
3. Incorporate hair-pulling in different ways
There are plenty of ways you can incorporate hair-pulling, not just to play dom and sub, or to have your partner role-playfully follow your whims. You can pull your partner’s hair if they’re giving you oral sex, or if you want to initiate a kiss.
4. Use a safeword
This is one of the reasons you should talk about this before introducing it into your sex routine. A safeword ensures that the whole experience is pleasurable for both of you and that sex will end with enhanced trust and safety for both partners, not resentment.
5. Don’t forget the aftercare
After sex, make sure to check if your partner is okay. Look for any signs of injury or bleeding. You can also make the experience more romantic by washing your partner’s hair and giving them a scalp massage. It’s a sweet way to reconnect and soothe the intensity of the moment.
6. Tell your partner
Before you do anything to spice up your sex life, whether it’s hair-pulling or something else, make sure to inform your partner beforehand. Your partner trusts you with their body, so don’t ruin that trust by doing something they’re not aware of.
Bottomline
To ensure safe hair-pulling during sex, it all boils down to having consent, learning, and practicing. If you introduce this to your partner without informing them, sex will end in resentment. Your partner will trust you less, which is something you wouldn’t do if you truly care about them.
Learning is important because you need to know the best way to pull your partner’s hair without inflicting too much pain.
And practice is also crucial because it allows you to learn each other’s boundaries, such as how often you should do this, whether your partner likes their hair being pulled, or how intense they want it to be.
Hair-pulling can definitely spice up your sex life. But it can be even better if you incorporate a toy. Visit beyourlovers.com today and find the best sex toy to make sex even better.
