Okay, so I’ve been curious about sex toys… I just don’t want to feel weird about it.
You’ve thought about trying a sex toy, then closed the tab, worried it made you “weird.”
You’re not. You’re just a guy who’s bored with the same old “handy” routine, but the porn-y product photos, endless options, and fear of being judged make it easier to do nothing.
But the truth is, it’s just a sex toy. It’s easy to buy. If you want to be discreet, you can just have it delivered from the comfort of your own home. Besides, you’re alone in your room anyway, or if you have a partner, I’m sure they’d want it too because it makes the sex experience more exciting.
Why Men Should Try Using SexToys (And Why It’s Not “Weird”)
Most guys start and stay with the traditional method: hand, porn, orgasm, done.
It works until it becomes boring. A sex toy can help you learn more about yourself. It makes you discover better ways to make you orgasm.
It can help if you need more pressure, if orgasms feel dull, or if sex with a partner feels less exciting at all.
Sex toys don’t replace your hand or your partner. Basically, it helps:
- Achieve better orgasms
- Training your body to enjoy gentler, more realistic stimulation.
- Figuring out what you actually like so you can communicate it.
- Stress relief, better sleep, improved mood, and a healthier relationship with your own sexuality.
Also, according to Men’s Health Clinic, sex toys like vibrators, cock rings, vacuum devices, and masturbation aids can benefit men with erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE) by improving blood flow, enhancing stimulation, and supporting behavioral training.
Dr. Amy Pearlman discusses another reason why men should try using sex toys:
Key Factors to Consider Before Buying
Now that you know the benefits of sex toys to your body and relationship. Let’s cut to the chase. Before you grab anything that looks nifty, keep these basics in mind.
Size, Material, and Noise
As a beginner, start small and simple. You can always size up later. For internal toys (anal, prostate, slim dildos), choose slimmer, shorter designs that look non-intimidating.
As for the materials, look for body-safe ones like medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, or stainless steel.
Avoid cheap, sticky, chemical-smelling jelly materials. If it smells like a tire shop, skip it. If you’re unsure, silicone is usually your safest bet. It’s soft, flexible, and easy to clean.
You also have to consider the noise. If you live with family, roommates, or thin walls, noise from your sex toy can be embarrassing. Many beginner-friendly toys are whisper-quiet or “under the blanket” quiet.
Check noise levels when choosing a sex toy. It’s often indicated in the product’s information.
Power Source and Functionality
Sex toys can either be battery-powered or rechargeable. Battery-powered are usually cheaper. It’s good for testing the waters. The downside is you’ll have to replace batteries and often get weaker power.
Rechargeable sex toys are usually sold at a higher price, but it often performs better when they come with power. It also offers more settings, and no emergency battery runs.
You may also want to consider the vibration types. These vibration types can either be in patterns like pulses and waves. Or they can also be rumbly, which allows you to feel the pressure deeper, and this is typically more powerful.
It can also be buzzy, which provides a superficial or tingly sensation.
There are sex toys that have all these vibration types, such as the ones that are sold in Beyourlover.com. It’s because you can connect most of their sex toys to our app, where you can customize the vibration that feels right for you, allowing you to experiment and explore.
External Stimulation: The Easiest Entry Point
If you’re nervous about anything going inside your body, external toys are the perfect place to start. They stay outside, they’re easy to control, and you can use them with your usual hand routine.
Wand Massagers
Wand massagers are the “classic” sex toy shape: a handle with a rounded, vibrating head. They were originally marketed as back massagers, but people quickly figured out they’re amazing on genitals too.
Whether you’re a person with a vulva or a penis, a wand massager is the best starter toy.
Beginners like wands because of the broad coverage. They stimulate a wider zone, like the shaft, frenulum, head, and perineum, or the space between your balls and anus.
The rumbly power of wand massagers can bring you to climax quickly, especially if you’re already aroused.
Most of all, there’s no need to fumble with different buttons. Just hold it where it feels good and adjust pressure. That’s it.
The Titan is one example. It advertises a 6000 RPM powerful motor, which is higher compared to a typical wand massager. With this power, you’ll feel the vibration deep in your balls, allowing you to melt into the sensation.
Bullet and Mini Vibrators
Bullet vibrators are small, smooth, and discreet. They’re often sold as “for women,” but don’t let the marketing fool you, as they’re fantastic for men, too.
Try using them along the underside of the shaft, especially near the frenulum, on the head of the penis, or the glans, on your scrotum, or even on your nipples.
Upgrading Masturbation: Strokers and Sleeves
If you’re ready to move past just your hand, strokers and sleeves are usually the next upgrade. You don’t need skills on how to use it, but if you want something niftier, more intense, this is your next option.
Strokers
Strokers are soft, usually silicone or TPE sleeves you slide your penis into, often with texture inside (ridges, bumps, swirls).
They’re better than the “death grip” because they are textured. It doesn’t use pressure for stimulation. That’s why it feels more realistic and natural, making it a perfect option if you want to feel partnered sex.
Some strokers are manual only, which means you move them with your hand. Others add vibration or suction for extra stimulation.
There are also automatic strokers where the thrusting is done for you. There’s no need to move your hand for stimulation. One of the best examples of this is the M2.
Advanced Masturbators
Once you’re comfortable with simple sleeves, there are more advanced options that combine different features.
One of the best examples is the M1. The M1 has the following features combined in one device:
- Heating module
- Selection between thrusting and rotation
- Motorcycle-inspired handles for better ergonomic grip
- An interactive app connection that enables interaction across compatible toys.
Couples Play: Erection Enhancers
Some male sex toys are created not just for solo exploration, but others are meant to be used for shared pleasure.
Vibrating Cock Rings
Cock rings sit at the base of your penis (sometimes behind the balls, too) and gently restrict blood flow, which can help you stay harder and longer, make you feel more sensitive, and share the stimulation with your partner.
The Redmii Rosalia is the perfect example, as it stimulates not just the penis but also the partner’s clitoris.
Anal and Prostate Toys for Beginners
This is where a lot of guys get curious, but also nervous. Let’s be blunt: prostate and anal play are not “only for certain types of guys.” They’re about nerve endings and anatomy, not labels or gender.
According to Scientific American, anal sex is pleasurable for penis owners because it stimulates the prostate or the P-spot that lies along the anterior rectal wall, which can result to intense orgasms
If you want to try to achieve that big “O” via anal, here are the toys that can help:
Prostate Massagers
Prostate massagers are curved toys designed to naturally press against the prostate when inserted. Many of them are designed to move slightly when you clench or rock your hips, creating hands-free stimulation.
The best example is Alan. Alan stimulates the prostate not just internally, but also externally.
Essential Care and Safety
Good toys last longer and feel better when you treat them right. Plus, proper care keeps things hygienic and safe for your body.
Lubricate
Lube is a must-have. However, you should use the best type of lube if you want to use a sex toy.
The water-based lube is safe with all toys, easy to clean, and perfect for beginners. It’s because many toys are made from silicone. Using other types of lube can damage it over time.
Also, if you want to experiment with that anal play, lube is very handy.
Cleaning
Remember to wash your toys before and after use with warm water and mild, unscented soap or a dedicated toy cleaner. Rinse thoroughly and let them air-dry completely before storing in a clean, dry place, so they don’t collect dust or lint.
For shared toys, consider using condoms over the toy for extra hygiene.
Your Pleasure, Your Rules
You don’t need permission to enjoy your own body. You’re not “strange” for wanting a toy.
If you’re a complete beginner, you can start with external toys, such as the wands and bullets. You can always upgrade anytime.
The truth is, there is no “right” first toy. Just choose what feels comfortable to you
Remember: you deserve to explore your pleasure without shame, without confusion, and without cheap junk getting in the way.
For high-quality sex toys, visit Beyourlover.com now.
Special Thanks To:
- Dr. Amy Pearlman, urologist
