You just want to feel good, so why does buying a vibrator feel this complicated?
Choosing the right vibrator for you is overwhelming. With hundreds of options to choose from, it’s easy to get stuck in the limbo of just analyzing which vibe is the best for you. Are you supposed to want a rabbit? A suction toy? Why does choosing something to feel good suddenly feel like answering a school test paper?
It doesn’t have to be this way. We’re just bombarded with lots of products because people love sex. According to a PubMed Central article, vibrator purchases have been showing an upward trend since 2019. In other words, no matter how hard one can deny it, in the comforts of their bedroom, they still do sex, solo or not.
But it doesn’t mean we can just pick the one that has the coolest or has the most realistic look. We should regard it as a wellness investment. After all, you will spend some of your hard-earned money on it.
Common Mistakes Beginners Make When Choosing a Vibrator
A lot of beginners make mistakes when buying their first vibrator, and end up wasting money on the wrong one. Usually, it happens for the following reasons:
1. The Bigger, the Better
Back when I was still a beginner at buying vibrators (this was before my first boyfriend was around to scratch my itch), I was a virgin and curious about getting one. Let’s be honest; mainstream media and porn have a huge influence. Bigger or longer must be better, right?
So I bought a large vibrator without considering my poor virgin pussy.
Yeah. Ouch.
Lesson learned: bigger doesn’t automatically mean better.
2. Relying Too Much on the Brand’s Reputation
I bought that big vibe from the website of a well-known brand, which I won’t name.
Not only did it not fit my virgin hoohah, it also arrived broken. It was supposed to vibrate, but the vibrating feature didn’t work at all. I messaged the seller to tell them about the issue.
They offered an exchange.
Really? That felt like a red flag to me. Why do you need the item back? Are you planning to fix it and sell it again? I can’t help but imagine if the one I received was also a returned item.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t buy from well-known brands. After all, that’s still a much safer option than buying from random fly-by-night stores where you have no idea how their toys are made or where they come from, right?
But don’t rely on reputation alone. Always check their refund and exchange policies.
3. The More Expensive, the Better
It’s easy to assume a product is high-quality when it comes with a big price tag. But there are plenty of reasons why a vibrator can be expensive. It might have multiple features, advanced technology, premium materials, or sometimes you’re just paying for marketing.
Like I said, it’s tempting to equate price with quality, but that’s not always the case.
At the end of the day, you really have to do your research. In the next section, we’ll talk about what you should actually consider when buying a vibrator.
How to Choose a Vibrator
So let’s get to the most awaited part. Here are the things you should actually consider when buying a vibrator.
Identify Your Sensation Profile
Before you get hooked on cute designs, whether it looks like a penis or something you could display on a shelf, make sure it actually does the job. The goal is pleasure, not just aesthetics.
So how do you choose?
Internal or External Stimulation
Here’s a tip: for most people with vulvas, external stimulation tends to feel better. According to research published on Springer Nature, women who used vibrators three times per week for three months showed significant improvements in sexual function and pelvic symptoms, even with external use only.
So if you’re not sure whether you get aroused more easily internally or externally, start with external stimulation if you have a vulva. External means the clitoris, vulva, balls, or perineum.
Internal stimulation, on the other hand, refers to the G-spot, A-spot, or anus.
Broad or Targeted
Next, think about how you like to be touched. Do you get more turned on when there’s a wider area of contact (broad)? Or do you prefer something more precise and focused, like a tongue-like or finger-like sensation (targeted)?
Here’s a hint: when you touch yourself, do you use your palm (broad) or your fingers (targeted)? That alone can tell you a lot about your preference.
Suction, Vibration, or Thrusting
Modern vibrators come with all kinds of features nowadays. Some have suction. Some thrust. Some do both.
You can still buy a simple vibrator, but let’s be honest, that can feel a bit basic. If you already have the budget, why not try one with at least a suction feature? It can take your pleasure to the next level.
Location and Noise Levels
The last thing you want is to shock your mom because she found a penis-shaped toy displayed on your nightstand.
If you have full privacy and thick walls, go ahead and buy whatever you want. But if you’re sharing a room, you’ll want something discreet, either in size, shape, or noise level. Some toys are designed to look like everyday objects, so they won’t immediately scream “sex toy.”
Shape and Size
Please learn from my experience.
Your toy should be comfortable and actually fit your body. Don’t just buy something because it looks impressive. Comfort always comes first.
Choose the Best Toy Based on Your Sensation Profile and Privacy
There are tons of sex toys on the market now. Some look realistic, some look like nifty gadgets, and some are disguised as ordinary household items or stuffed toys.
If you don’t want to waste money, knowing your sensation profile isn’t enough. You also need to match it with the right type of toy.
For Women / Everyone:
External + Targeted / Broad
Bullet and Suction Vibrators
These are beginner-friendly and popular among virgins because they’re not overwhelmingly intense. They also mimic the sensation of oral sex.
One example is the Naughty Clock. It’s perfect if you need something discreet because it doubles as a regular alarm clock. You can literally display it on your bedside table.
It has both suction and vibration features, so you don’t need two separate devices. You can use whichever feels right for solo or partnered sessions, or even combine suction and vibration if you want broader stimulation.
External + Broad
Wand Massagers
Wand massagers are great for power lovers or anyone who enjoys deep pressure. They also double as actual body massagers.
They usually have a large head and broad contact area. You can use them over underwear, on your thighs, vulva, back, or shoulders, basically anywhere you want tension relief.
One example is the Titan Magic Wand, known for pro-level deep tissue stimulation. When used on the clit, you’ll feel that power deep to your core.
Internal + Targeted / Broad
Egg Vibrator
An egg vibrator has an elongated, egg-shaped head that can be inserted into the vagina or anus.
One example is the Magic Suitcase What makes it different from other egg vibrators is that it’s discreet, and it also has a suction feature, so you can count it as both internal and broad stimulation.
Multifunctional Toys
Some of the toys mentioned above can be used together for continuous pleasure. But there are also toys specifically designed to deliver multiple sensations at once, no choosing required.
The best example? The rabbit vibrator.
Different manufacturers create different rabbit designs to accommodate various needs and deliver different sensations.
Take the Devil Tongue, for example. Just looking at it, you can tell it’s bold. If you’re ready for something more advanced, this might be your next step.
It’s not surprising that some people collect sex toys. Different products truly offer different sensations.
I’m one of them.
But before you become a collector, start with one toy that suits you. Make sure your first investment is worth it.
For Those With a Penis:
There are many types of sex toys for people with penises. Since we’re focusing on vibrators, let’s stick to those with vibrating features.
Internal + Broad
The Alan is technically a vibrator, but its primary function is to stimulate the anus, prostate, and perineum at the same time.
It can also be used by women, as it stimulates the anus, perineum, and clit simultaneously. In other words, it’s a versatile toy for all genders.
External + Targeted
A pocket pussy like the Pulse is more than just something you thrust into. It also has a vibrating feature, something many similar toys don’t offer.
You can control it via an app, and it comes with different vibration and thrusting modes to choose from.
For Couples:
There are also vibrators designed for couples. It works like a vibrating cock ring with a rabbit ear attachment that stimulates the partner’s clit during penetration.
Power Source
Some sex toys are rechargeable, while others use disposable batteries.
Rechargeable ones are usually more expensive, but they’re often more powerful, consistent, and commonly waterproof.
Other Considerations
You’ll also want to consider extra modes and settings that can enhance the experience.
Don’t forget discreet packaging from the seller, as well as clear refund and exchange policies.
There are also toys that can be controlled remotely via an app or separate remote control.
App-controlled toys are especially useful for couples in long-distance relationships.
At the end of the day, choosing a vibrator isn’t just about what looks good. It’s about knowing your body, your privacy needs, and your pleasure preferences, so every purchase feels worth it.
Is It Bad to Use a Vibrator?
Listen to Dr. Kairyn Eilber as she answers the question:
Conclusion
There’s nothing wrong with using a vibrator. In fact, if you’re not using one yet, you might already be late to the trend; more and more people are exploring and buying them.
The only time a vibrator becomes a problem is when it completely replaces intimacy with your partner. Use it to enhance your bedroom experience, not substitute it. It’s a tool, not a replacement.
Also, choose your vibrator wisely. Treat it as an investment in your wellness. If you don’t know where to start, go for the basics. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, and it’s usually not that expensive.
It’s better to start simple, learn more about your body, and discover what you actually enjoy than to splurge on something you won’t even end up using.
To learn more about the best sex toy for you, visit beyourlover.com now.
Special Thanks to:
Karyn S. Eilber
