Do you feel confident whenever you take control using your words? Then you can learn these easy yet powerful phrases to establish a connection with your partner with command.
Hey, are you a dom who likes talking dirty, but sometimes can get stuck on what to say?
Don’t worry, because using the right phrases can help you take control over your partner, and eventually, change your game.
Next, we’ll break down the words you can use for dirty talk, so you can establish power and own every moment!
What Does It Mean to Be Sexually Dominant
Well, being a dom means you like to take the lead and control the game in the bedroom.
It’s like being the boss in a fun game where you make some of the choices, and your partner listens.
This way of playing may always be associated with BDSM, and it's where one person is the leader (the dom) and the other person is the follower (the sub).
Of course, they both agree on the rules, and everything's about having fun and making each other satisfied and comfy.
And are you even aware that submissive penis owners already outnumber dominant vulva owners? Because in this Reddit post, users are discussing the growing number of dominant people with vulvas, and according to S&M enthusiasts, some of them are also “switchers.”
Or, who knows? Maybe the majority of human beings just want to be dominated.
What Makes Dominant Talk So Strong and Hot?
Below are the reasons why giving your bae some dirty talk in bed will put you in power.
Helps Your Partner Feel More Excited
The brain is the organ that regulates the feelings of excitement. So if you can make your partner think about sexually enticing thoughts, then you've got the power.
For example, if you tell them fun and flirty things while you’re connected, it can make them feel really, really good.
Talking like this can also help them feel lots of different feelings, use their imagination to think about cool ideas, and say things they might not usually say out loud.
Helps Show Who’s the Boss
Using helpful phrases can also help show who’s the boss. The ‘harder levels’ are when you give orders, say things that show something belongs to you, or even say mean things.
These make it clear who is in control and who is following, and the words you use can help your partner do exactly what you want.
For example, if you say nice things whenever they're doing something for you, they might want to do it again because they like hearing that.
Why Do Some People Desire a Dominant Role in the Bedroom?
Think about dancing!
Sometimes, you just want to take the lead so you can flirt and show your best moves.
You can play your own pretend game where you get to try new and exciting things together, to prevent things from getting boring.
So, imagine putting on a cool hat and being the star of the show in the bedroom!
What Is Expected from a Dominant in a Relationship
For doms, it’s really important to:
- Check if everyone is feeling good
- Establish clear boundaries
- Maintain trust and communication
- Prioritize safety
- Be attuned to every need
- Encourage growth
- Demonstrate self-control
- Acknowledge mistakes and apologize
- Promote mutual consent
Types of Dominant Roles and Dynamics
If you think that every dom should treat their sub in a mean, loud, and hurtful way, then you'd better change that way of thinking.
There are different kinds of subs and dom, and each of them uses and accepts power differently.
- Sensual domination: This kind is gentle and always makes their partner feel good with soft and nice things.
- Brat taming: This dom is firm because sometimes their sub is a little naughty, but they don’t want to hurt feelings.
- Degradation/Humiliation: This dom talks in a way that sounds really strong or mean, but this is okay if both like it.
Hot and Sensual Phrases to Use When You’re the Dom
Below are phrases that a dom can say to help them set the mood, make them feel closer to their partner, and make things more exciting during their steamy time.
- "Kneel" - Use this before you begin to make your partner get down on their knees. It shows you’re the boss right away.
- "Good Girl/Boy" - Say this when your partner does a good job listening to you or follows your rules. It makes them feel proud.
- "Who do you belong to?" - Whisper this during sweet times to remind your partner who’s in charge.
- "Beg for it" - Make your partner ask nicely for a treat or reward. It makes things more exciting.
- "Do you want to please me?" - Ask this question so you’ll see if your partner really wants to make you happy.
- "Count your spanks" - When you give little hits, have your partner count them out loud. It helps them pay attention.
- "Look at me" - Give commands to keep your partner looking at you. As it helps you both feel intimate.
- "You’re mine" - Say this to remind your partner you are the boss during special times.
- "You'll take what I give you" - Say this to show you decide what happens, good or not.
- "Thank me" - After you finish or give a treat, ask your partner to say thank you.
- "Hold still" - Tell your partner not to move for a moment to make it more exciting.
- "I control your pleasure" - Say this to decide the moment when your partner can feel really good.
- "Worship me" - Ask your partner to be extra nice and loving to you.
- "Don’t speak unless spoken to" - Tell your partner to only talk when you say it’s okay.
- "Serve me" - Say this to start a task where your partner does things for you.
- "I own you" - Remind your partner that they belong to you during intimate times.
- "Let go" - Say this when you want your partner to enjoy feelings fully.
- "Obey me" - Tell your partner to do what you say.
- "Beg for forgiveness" - If your partner makes a mistake, have them say sorry.
- "Eyes on me" - Tell your partner to keep looking at you.
- "Do you trust me?" - Ask this to remind each other that there’s trust between you.
- "Take your punishment" - Before giving discipline, remind your partner that they have to accept it.
- "Only speak when spoken to" - Tell your partner to only talk when they’re allowed.
And below are some sentences you can use, in and out of the bedroom, to show your dominant power.
- Tonight, you won’t be allowed to finish until I say so.
- I’ll make you excited in public, so you have to wait to have fun later.
- You’ve been a little naughty, haven’t you? Get ready to be told what to do.
- You’re here to make me happy. Tell me how you’ll show that tonight.
- Tonight, I decide when and how you feel good.
- I’m going to tie you up and tease you until you can’t wait anymore.
- I’m ready to be in charge tonight. Be ready to listen to me.
- You’ll make me happy the way I want, and your goosebumps are my sign.
- I want to see you eager and ready by following what I say.
- You belong to me tonight. You can only enjoy yourself when I say it’s okay.
- You only get pleasure when you do what I want.
- You’re craving my touch and body.
- You want me to take charge and guide you.
- I’m thinking about you making all my wishes come true tonight.
- You’re so ready, just imagine my touch is all over you.
As stated by Alex Shea of MindBodyGreen, dirty talk can feel weird at first, but it gets better the more you do it. And the best way to do it is when you and your partner are at ease and say it with genuine confidence.
Tips to Master the Art of Dominance
Talking dirty isn’t just saying naughty words, and you don’t have to be an expert to enjoy this. Just use your imagination and try these tips!
Trigger Their Senses and Use Toys
When you talk in a bossy way to your sub, that can feel so exciting for them. So it’s really good to use commands that help your partner anticipate what's gonna happen, or feel things more.
Instead of just telling your partner about what you want to do, tell them how it will feel, sound, or taste. And you can also use some toys to make your game much better!
Some easy toys to try with your partner:
- Small vibrating rings
- Soft bullet vibrators
- Blindfolds
- Fluffy ticklers
- Massage oils
- Feather brushes
- Cozy handcuffs (with soft lining)
Make Clear Rules and Choose a Safe Word
Before you start talking dirty or playing, you need to make some rules with your partner.
It's similar when you play a game with friends. You have to know the rules to play it right.
Talk about what you both like and don’t like, and what’s okay or not okay. Pick a safe word, which is a special word you can say if things get too much and you want to stop.
It’s like a big red stop sign or an emergency button to keep everyone feeling alright. Even if you think you don’t need one, having a safe word is a good idea and can make everything more fun and safe.
Use Your Voice to Be the Boss
How you say words is what makes you strong. When you talk with a loud and sure voice, it shows you believe in yourself. It also tells your partner you are the boss.
Try to speak slowly and clearly to sound in charge. You can also make your voice lower and pause sometimes to make your partner excited and listen carefully. Because how you speak your game is just as important as what you say.
Dominate Using Your Body
Being the dom doesn't only involve what you say. But it’s also about how you use your body.
Look your partner in the eyes, and stand up straight and tall.
You can also make your hands always visible to show that you mean business.
Sometimes, a little pause before saying something can also make your words sound way stronger. These methods can help make your partner pay closer attention to you. They'll also feel more excited to hear what you're gonna say next.
Pretend to Be Someone Else
Pretend you are playing a game where you are a big boss or a ruler, or someone in charge.
You can even make a character for your partner, too! One of you is the one who rules, and the other listens and follows.
The secret to being good at this game is to believe in your pretend role and have fun playing. And pretending can make talking even more exciting!
Take Control With Confidence and Respect
Being the dom means you talk and act like you believe in yourself. But you must also be nice and always respect your partner. Because when you're kind and transparent, everyone can feel happy and safe.
But if you want to learn more cool ways to be a good dom in your relationship, check out BeYourLover! It has fun tips to help you feel great and confident. Try it and be the best you can be!
