Turns out, not moving at all can feel surprisingly intimate
Sex feels fast lately; one minute you’re kissing, the next it’s over, and you’re left wondering where the connection went.
Cockwarming can be a good addition to your bedroom routine if you want slower and deeper intimacy.
You might have heard it somewhere, but don’t know what it is, and why it’s a good must-add to your bedroom to-do list.
So, we’re gonna delve deeper into it.
What Is Cockwarming?
According to WinEveryGame:
“Cockwarming is an act of keeping a partner's penis in one's mouth, anus, or vagina, typically for a prolonged period, without moving to create friction.”
In other words, cock warming inside your partner’s hole, no thrusting, not even an effort to try to make it hard.
The reason people with penises do this, or why their partners want them to, is to feel more intimate and connected, or simply to enjoy the warmth or fullness of having a cock inside them.
It’s a way to slow down before sex; some people do this as a kind of meditative foreplay, or as part of after care, or when they want to feel close to their partners.
My boyfriend Nick and I do this as part of our aftercare. It makes me feel closer to him, and it feels quite nice.
Cockwarming vs. Soaking: What’s the Difference?
These two terms often get lumped together, which is understandable, because technically, the action is much the same: put the cock inside the hole and just let it sit there.
What makes them different is the context or goal.
Cockwarming is the term usually used in casual sex for intimacy or kink. Partners do this for warmth, connection, and presence, and are usually a part of foreplay, aftercare, or even the main event, just to slow down a little.
On the other hand, soaking is the term commonly used in religion, particularly by the Mormons. It’s used as a supposed “loophole” to get around their strict premarital sex doctrine. The goal is to get away with penetrative sex without actually “sinning.”
How People Discover Cockwarming
Most people don’t learn about cockwarming from sex ed.
Though the action goes way back centuries ago, even documented in Tantric Traditions and some Taoist practices. However, the term itself, “cockwarming,” is slang, and the point of origin of the term is unknown.
But the term is popularized by erotic fanfiction, anime or manga communities, and sex positive forums.
But even though the origin of the term is unknown, it tells you that a lot of people are into it.
Emotional & Physical Benefits of Cockwarming
Who would have thought that simply letting the cock warm inside the partner’s anus, vagina, or mouth can make a positive change to a person emotionally and physically? Here are some of the benefits one can get from just sticking the pole into the hole.
1. Emotional Intimacy and Stress Reduction
The biggest reason why people do this is for comfort.
Modern life trains us to rush: rush to work, rush through dinner, rush through sex, making it easy for sex to feel transactional or disconnected. Cockwarming is a great way to break this boring sex.
When you rest together with one partner holding and the other enveloping, with their cock sitting inside your orifice, it also promotes extended body contact. Imagine the intimacy of feeling your partner skin-to-skin, chest-to-back, or even face-to-face. It signals safety and closeness to our brain.
A study on PubMed Central shows that hugging and prolonged physical touch, even 20 seconds of still contact, can help reduce stress hormones and ease anxiety.
People often rate partners more likable, comforting, and safe when they receive non-demanding and steady touch.
2. Sensory Focus and Heightened Arousal
Most sex is friction-driven: faster, harder, more movement. Cockwarming allows you to slow down and be mindful. Feel the warmth and subtle pressure around the penis, feel the fullness and stretch, and feel the tiny pulses of arousal, pelvic floor contractions, or changes in breath.
This is similar to “sensate focus,” a classic sex-therapy technique where couples slow down and notice touch, temperature, and subtle sensation.
Over time, these can help retrain your brain away from performance anxiety and toward pleasure. Build new positive associations with slow sex, and be present with your partner.
3. Relaxation, Sleep, and “Safe Nesting”
Another reason people love cockwarming is that it is soothing, or even sleep-inducing.
Some couples like to rest together this way before drifting off, especially in spooning positions.
A University of Wisconsin-Madison journal states that bed-sharing in committed relationships suggests that close physical contact can improve sleep quality for many people, particularly women, by increasing feelings of safety and attachment.
Cockwarming adds an extra layer of closeness because, in addition to hugging, you’re connected to something else, too (pun intended), you’re joined together. This provides the nesting feeling that feels calming for couples.
Remember when I said that I feel nice when my partner Nick does this? It’s this nesting feeling that comes into play.
To learn more about cockwarming and how it can be incorporated in a kinky lifestyle, here’s a video from Brandon the Dom:
How to Practice Cockwarming: A Step-by-Step Guide
Now, we’re getting into the practical part. I know that you can be more creative in your own style of cockwarming, but if you feel shy to get on with it with your partner, you need a little nudge, and here are my suggestions for you:
Step 1: Talk About It First
Before anything physical happens, you’ll want a conversation. Even though it’s more wholesome than what’s mostly taking place in the bedroom, it’s no excuse for no consent. You don’t want to scare your partner by sticking your dick into them out of the blue.
Introduce the idea by talking it out firsthand. I’m sure your partner is gonna be up for it.
When you talk about this with your partner, make sure to talk about consent, safety, and boundaries.
Step 2: Prepare Your Bodies (Safety & Comfort)
Just because there’s no thrusting doesn’t mean safety should be ignored.
Even if the receiving partner usually self-lubricates, natural lubrication can ebb, especially without movement. A good-quality water-based or silicone lube reduces friction, protects delicate tissue, and keeps both of you comfortable during longer sessions.
Even though exchange of fluid is not your priority at this point, it’s no excuse not to use any protection. Use a condom, because you’re still at risk of STIs, especially with anal cockwarming.
Also, before you get lovey-dovey with each other, still consider good hygiene. A quick rinse of hands and genitals not only lowers the risk of infection or irritation, but your partner will also thank you, making you more huggable.
Lastly, before you lie on the bed, relieve yourself first. You don’t want to disturb your intimate moment just because you need to poop or pee.
Step 3: Choose a Cockwarming-Friendly Position
Any position that allows you to stay still, relax your muscles, and breathe comfortably can work. There are no strict rules here. But here are some suggestions:
The Spoon (Side-Lying)
Both partners lie on their sides, with the penetrating partner behind. The penis enters from behind, and then you simply stay nestled together. It’s great for relaxation, cuddling, pre-sleep, or early-morning closeness.
The Lotus (Seated Face-to-Face)
The penetrating partner sits with legs crossed or slightly open. The receiving partner sits in their lap, facing them, and sinks until comfortably filled. Then you wrap your arms around each other and rest. If you want more eye contact, emotional intimacy, kissing, and talking, this is the best position for you.
The Prone Embrace (Lying Flat)
The receiving partner lies on their stomach or slightly angled with a pillow for support. The penetrating partner lies on top and enters slowly, then settles their weight in a gentle, supported way. If you want a full-body contact and a “wrapped” feeling, this is the go-to cockwarming position.
Step 4: Maintaining the Erection
A common question is how do you stay hard if you’re not moving. The answer is, you might not, and that’s okay.
For many couples, the focus of cockwarming isn’t sex at all, but staying present. But if you want to add more to the cockwarming session, like if you want to do this as a part of foreplay, you can use a sex toy for added stimulation and to keep you rock hard.
One of the best toys for added stimulation while cockwarming that will lead to a mind-blowing sex is the Toycod Barzillai. It is a double-ring penis vibrator that stimulates not just the penis, but also the partner.
Besides that, you can also stimulate your partner’s clit and nipples. Normally, feeling their arousal will also affect you, which will make you rock hard again.
Step 5: Decide What Happens Next
Next, you can decide what to do next. You can just choose to stay still and enjoy the moment, feeling each other’s presence. As mentioned, you can use it as a part of foreplay, where you can slowly ease into thrusting.
Or, you can use it as an aftercare where you feel each other’s presence as your bodies relax.
Risks, Safety, and Practical Considerations
Even though cockwarming feels nice, there are still risks involved in it. It’s best to know what they are so you can avoid them and ensure that your cuddling session won’t end in hospitalization.
1. Sleeping While Cockwarming
It’s easy to sleep while cockwarming because of the connection and safety it makes both of you feel. We’ve discussed tons of benefits of cockwarming, and among them is it can actually help induce sleep. But there are downsides to it.
One is movement risks. If the receiving partner rolls abruptly and unconsciously while the dick is still sitting inside them, there’s a rare but real risk of penile strain or even penile fracture. So, even though it’s rare, you don’t want to risk it.
Also, prolonged retention, especially followed by sleep without urinating or washing, can increase the risk of irritation or urinary tract infections for the receiving partner.
But if you still want to sleep with a warm cock inside a pussy, choose a position that won’t harm the penis in sudden movements. The best position is spooning. Also, encourage the receiving partner to wash after the cockwarming session to help flush out any harmful microorganisms in there.
2. Discomfort
Cockwarming should not be painful. Mild stretching or intensity is one thing, but some receiving partners can feel sharp pain, burning, or aching. If there’s discomfort or pain, adjust the depth, angle, or position. You can also add more lube, take a break, or stop entirely.
There’s no point doing it if it’s hurting you both. It’s not enjoyable at all.
3. Emotional Mismatch
Cockwarming is an intimate action. But for some people, this level of closeness can feel overwhelming. That’s why, if you haven’t done this before with your partner, consider talking about it first.
Is Cockwarming Right for You?
If sex has started to feel like a routine, or something you do out of obligation to your partner, it may be time to slow down and make a change. When the spark is completely gone, sex can feel unpleasurable, and over time, your relationship may be at risk, too.
One of the best ways to bring that fire back is by being fully present with each other, alongside honest conversations and intentional efforts to reconnect and rekindle your relationship.
One thing you can try is cockwarming. This act isn’t just about keeping the sausage warm in the bun; it’s also a way to rediscover each other’s bodies, feel each other’s presence, and strengthen emotional security.
If you want to try this tonight, choose a moment when neither of you feels rushed or exhausted, bring it up with your partner, and agree on a comfortable position.
And as you continue building intimacy and connection, you might also consider a trusted toy to enhance the experience. Visit beyourlover.com.
Special Thanks To:
- Brandon the Dom
