Are you one of those who are curious about anal sex but worried that it might be painful, unsafe, or dangerous?
We get it. Anal sex can sound intimidating, especially with all the stigma and misinformation surrounding it. But the truth is, with the right preparation, positioning, and expectations, anal sex can be a solid addition to your bedroom lineup.
So whether you're after some extra heat in your BDSM sessions or craving slow, passion-filled lovemaking, the right anal sex position can make all the difference.
But first things first. Let’s talk a bit about what anal sex actually is, so we’re on the same page, and so you can get a bird’s eye view of whether it’s worth trying.
What Makes Anal Sex So Interesting for Some?
Did you know that 35,9% of women and 42.3% of men aged 25 to 44 in the US have had anal sex? That’s according to the National Health Statistics Reports. Even more interesting, a 2010 study found that 94% of people with vulvas reported reaching orgasm, proving that anal sex can feel good.
One reason is that it’s often paired with other types of stimulation, like vaginal or clitoral. Plus, the anus is packed with sensory nerves that are connected to the genitals. For those with a penis, the action can be especially pleasurable because it stimulates the prostate.
Many studies show that people explore anal sex out of curiosity and the potential for pleasure. Just as important, it tends to be most enjoyable when trust and communication are front and center.
While it’s true that pain or discomfort can happen, there are ways to reduce or even eliminate it, which we’ll get into shortly.
The Benefits of Anal Sex
Here are the reasons why you might consider exploring anal sex:
Builds Intimacy With a Partner
If you’ve always stuck to the same traditional sex positions for years (unless you both have a penis), suggesting anal sex can be a great way to open up a conversation around boundaries and comfort zones. It’s a chance to communicate openly and learn more about each other.
Exciting Experience
Anal sex is outside the usual genital-to-genital routine, so it’s fair to say it’s a little unconventional.
While it’s become more mainstream now (thanks to porn and social media), it’s still not your go-to baby-making position. That alone adds a thrill factor, and that’s probably why you’re here, looking for tips. You’re in the right place.
Because anal sex is still considered taboo by many, or something newbies are cautious to explore, it can feel more arousing and adventurous to try.
Mindblowing Orgasm
As mentioned, people of all genders can orgasm from anal sex. It can be mindblowing, especially with prostate stimulation, which often leads to intense release. And for those with vulvas, anal sex can target multiple pleasure zones at once.
Yes, it can hit both the G-spot and the A-spot. Two birds in one moan.
Additional Spot for Stimulation
Anal sex opens up a new area for play, giving you more options to explore. You can use your hands or a toy to stimulate the penis or vagina during penetration to take the sensation to the next level.
Lessens the Risk of Pregnancy
Penis-to-vaginal sex is the straight path to baby-making. With anal sex, sperm doesn’t travel to the uterus, unless, for some reason, semen from the anus gets into the vagina. It’s not a zero-risk method, but the chances of pregnancy are significantly lower.
Sex Health Benefits
Sex, in general, offers plenty of health perks. It can lower the risk of hypertension and cardiovascular disease, increase libido, improve sleep, and more. With anal sex, you get all the same benefits plus the thrill of trying something new.
Disadvantages of Anal Sex
Now, let’s get real. Anal sex is awesome, but you also have to know the negative sides so you and your partner can prepare and eliminate the possible risks.
Injury
The anus doesn’t stretch like the vagina. Therefore, anal sphincter injury and tearing are possible. But don’t get your hopes down. There’s something you can do about this, which you will learn later.
Higher STI Transmission
The anus contains bacteria and germs, and transmission is higher through anal sex. Injuries, even the tiny ones, can trap these bacteria and cause abscesses or skin infections. Not to mention the risks of directly ingesting them through analingus.
Worsens Hemorrhoids
If you already have hemorrhoids, anal sex can irritate them. Therefore, it’s best to forgo anal sex while you or your partner is still healing.
How to Prepare for Anal Sex
Now, it’s time to learn how to lessen the risks and reap the benefits of anal sex. The following are ways you can prepare to make your lovemaking enjoyable.
Relax
When you are stressed, your anal sphincter tightens. You want penetration to be as easy as possible, so take your time, breathe, and try to enjoy the moment.
Consider Your Hygiene
Make sure to poop before your lovemaking and clean up really well. We want to reduce the transmission of germs, so yes, again, be clean. If you can douche your butthole, even better, but make sure to do it safely.
Lubricate
The anus doesn’t produce natural lubrication, so you’ll need to add some yourself. Use plenty of lube to reduce the risk of tearing and make penetration easier and less painful.
Use a Condom
It’s easy to skip the condom during anal sex, especially if pregnancy isn’t a concern. But you still need to use one, because it protects both of you from possible STIs. And if you’re switching to vaginal sex afterward, change the condom first.
For more information about anal sex safety, here’s a video from Dr. Rena Malik:
5 Best Anal Sex Positions to Try
Now, for the meaty part. Here are the best anal sex positions you can try in the bedroom:
Forbidden Fruit
Of course, what’s anal sex without some foreplay like analingus? The Forbidden Fruit is one of the best anal sex positions if you wanna go oral on your partner’s butt, or even the penis or vulva. It’s simple and doesn’t require any body-bending routine.
How To: The receiver kneels with their legs open and butt raised. Their upper body rests on their elbows. The giver kneels behind and starts the buffet.
Disadvantages: The anus carries lots of bacteria and viruses. Eating out your partner’s butt is a fast way to get E.coli, Shigella, hepatitis A, and STIs. So both partners should make sure their butts are clean before diving into that good butt lunch.
Pro Tip: Since the giver’s hands are too far back there, the receiver might want to add a little front-end stimulation, like popping on a Jecca nipple cup massager beforehand and letting the vibration build arousal while their partner works their oral skills.
Pilediver
Heads up! This anal sex position requires some flexibility, especially from the receiver. But if you're both game, the payoff can be wild.
How To: The receiver lies on their back with their legs lifted and ankles tucked on either side of their head. The giver squats over them, butt down and knees straddling the receiver’s sides.
Disadvantage: This one's not beginner-friendly. It takes flexibility and core strength from the receiver, and serious balance from the giver. If you rush into it, you risk pulled muscles or a bent penis (yep, that hurts more than it sounds sexy).
Pro Tip: The pilediver anal sex position begs for a BDSM twist. Using a BDSM Bondage Kit that is complete with handcuffs, a blindfold, a collar, and other essentials can increase the sense of submission for the receiver. It also makes transitions into spanking, teasing, and edging even smoother.
Because this anal sex position isn’t for the faint of heart, go slow, communicate often, and lube up generously.
Rear Entry
The rear entry is also known as "lying doggy" position. It’s among the easiest anal sex positions. Think spooning, but instead of lying on your sides, the receiving partner stays flat on their belly while the giver takes charge from behind.
Minimal effort. Maximum access.
How To: The receiver lies on their stomach. The penetrating partner lies on top, using their hands for support while sliding in from behind. You can level up the angle by sliding a pillow under the receiver’s hips.
Disadvantage: This isn’t the most intimate position. Both of you are facing forward, so eye contact and facial expressions are off the table. It’s hot, but it’s not face-to-face hot.
Pro Tip: Don’t be shy, talk to your partner. Tell them how good they feel. Moan their name. Whisper something dirty or tender. A little dirty talk can feel intimate.
Also, because the receiver is lying flat, bulky toys can get in the way. If you want to add a sex toy to the mix, use Kiala, a compact nipple cover with a built-in massager. Use them before things heat up and let the stimulation add to the pleasure.
Doggy Style
Of course, it’s the classic anal sex position that everyone knows, but there’s a reason it’s stood the test of time. Doggy style works wonders. It’s one of the best go-tos for beginners. The receiver can take the lead by controlling the pace, while the partner stays still and enjoys the ride.
This position also delivers a serious impact. It allows deep penetration, and the giver has full access to stimulate other erogenous zones with their hands, like the back, hips, nipples, or anything that makes your partner melt.
How To: The receiving partner gets on all fours. The giver kneels behind and enters from the back. That’s it. No rocket science. Just pleasure.
Disadvantage: If you’ve done doggy style before, this might feel a little cliché, but it’s still a solid, reliable favorite. And if it’s your first time trying anal? This is one of the best places to start.
Pro Tip: If you are a receiver and have a penis. You can add more stimulation as your partner enters your back. You can use your hands to stimulate your coco or the Skull Man, a sex toy with vibration and thrusting features you can enjoy while your partner does the penetration.
The Caboose
The Caboose is a beginner-friendly anal sex position with a surprising twist: it’s cozy and intimate. Like doggy style, the receiving partner stays in control. They can choose the pace and the rhythm.
How To: The giver sits on a floor, chair, or surface with one leg bent and the other extended. The receiver then straddles their partner from the front, facing the same direction. It’s like spooning but upright.
Disadvantage: While this position offers delicious skin-to-skin closeness, there’s one tradeoff, you won’t see each other’s faces. And if you’re craving deep penetration, this one might not quite hit that mark.
Pro Tip: Givers, don’t let those hands go idle. Use them to stimulate your partner’s penis or clit, or use a toy to enhance the experience. Receivers can double the pleasure with self-stimulation or a sleek toy like Eria, designed for the front fun while your back is receiving the love.
How to Have a Mind-Blowing Anal Sex
Ready to take things from good to damn, that was unforgettable? No matter which position you try, these pro tips will turn up the heat and make your experience deeper, more connected, and way more satisfying.
Talk Dirty
Some anal sex positions limit eye contact and skin-to-skin intimacy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stay connected. Use your words. Whisper what you want, ask how it feels, or talk your partner through what you’re doing. A little dirty talk can go a long way in keeping the chemistry sizzling.
Explore Each Other’s Bodies
Run your hands along your partner’s body. Stimulate their nipples, clit, penis, whatever gets them going. Kissing, caressing, and even light scratching can heighten arousal and make every thrust feel more electric.
Add a Toy (or Two)
Anal sex opens up a world of multi-zone stimulation. That means you can work the backdoor and still pleasure other hot spots at the same time. Hands are great, but adding a toy can take things to the next level. It’s a sensory playground, and the more zones you stimulate, the closer you get to that full-body, mind-blowing orgasm.
Just remember: don’t use the same toy for both anal and vaginal play without thoroughly cleaning it first. Safety is still sexy.
Confidence in the Backdoor
If you’re curious about anal sex or want to explore new positions, confidence starts with communication. Talk openly with your partner about what you’re into, what you’re unsure about, and what feels good. It’s the best way to make sure you’re both comfortable, connected, and enjoying the experience.
Be mindful of each other’s boundaries. Never push your partner (or yourself) into something that feels off. It’s completely okay to stop, pause, or even decide it’s not for you. But when you do feel ready to explore, you might just discover something that feels amazing for both of you.
One great way to dip your toes into anal play is with a sex toy. Check out BeYourLover for toys designed to enhance your experience, at your pace, on your terms.
Special Thanks To:
- Medical News Today
- Healthline
- National Health Statistics
- Dr. Rena Malik, MD
