In the past, masturbation was seen as a taboo subject, with many harmful old wives’ tales and untruths spread about it online. Like if you masturbate too much, you’ll grow blind or you’ll grow hair on your palms (both of which are completely false, by the way).
Fortunately, masturbation is now seen for what it really is: a healthy, perfectly normal way to relieve stress and satisfy or release sexual urges and cravings.
Many men (and people with penises) might think that masturbation is simpler for them than it is for people with vulvas. You just stroke it, right? How complicated can it be?
However, like any sexual act that might seem uncomplicated at first, the more you research masturbation, the more techniques you’ll find, and the better it’ll feel.
Before we get into some of the best techniques that sex therapists, experts, and ordinary people have discovered, let’s get one very important point out of the way:
What’s wrong with just keeping my same, tried-and-true technique?
You probably have a favorite way to masturbate, one that you discovered over many years of experimentation. You might think that it’s the best technique for you because it hits all your preferences.
But, have you ever found that you’ve had to change your technique, by adding more pressure or stronger strokes, or by increasing the amount of times you masturbate in a day?
Sex educator and intimacy coach Kiana Reeves can tell you why.
“If you masturbate the same way each time, your body (and mind) can get used to the rhythms and anticipate what comes next, making that final climax a little less–well, climatic.”
So changing things up is okay, and even necessary to keep things fresh and surprise your body and mind.
Here are some great techniques to try:
1. “Foreplay” For Yourself
We know what you’re thinking. Foreplay is just for sex, right? It’s about setting the mood and warming things up.
But the same applies to masturbation. Men tend to be practical when it comes to masturbation, getting it out of the way quickly, often on the toilet or just on the bed. No fanfare, nothing special, no complications.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Like any erotic act, masturbation feels better if you set the mood, preparing your body and mind slowly.
So play some of your favorite music. Don’t masturbate on the toilet, which is hard, uncomfortable, and in the middle of a setting that’s cold and that your mind associates with getting rid of waste. Get comfortable on your bed. Dim the lights. Use pillows to find a good position. You can light a candle, it’s not forbidden or feminine.
You’ll find that doing this ups the pleasure, and you’ll even associate masturbation with sex if you employ similar foreplay.
2. “Chalking” the Cue
If you’ve played pool, you’ve probably chalked a cue before.
Here, you’ll want to hold your penis in a medium strength grip, strong enough so it stays in place, and move your other hand on top of the head in a circular motion. You want to rub the head gently.
We recommend using water-based lube, but don’t overdo it. You don’t want to accidentally get any lotion that might have an alcohol base or scents into the opening of your urethra.
This technique is best used in combination with another, as the head of the penis is incredibly sensitive. It is, however, a great way to climax quickly, as most of the nerves of the penis are concentrated there.
Don’t apply too much pressure, and be sure to apply some moisturizer to your palms in the days leading up to trying this technique, as dry skin might have sharp calluses that could chafe or even cut the skin of your penis.
3. Upward Stroke
Most people with penises employ an up-and-down stroking technique, but what if we told you that upward half of that technique feels better?
Remember, most of the nerves of your penis are concentrated in the upper end of your shaft, around the head and on the tip itself.
For this technique, use plenty of lube (as you will be stroking in only one direction). You’ll hold your penis upright with your nondominant hand and, with the dominant one, you’ll stroke upwards.
Once you stroke up, don’t stroke down to reset your hand position. Instead, let go of your penis entirely, then reposition your dominant hand where you started and stroke upward again.
This will avoid losing the upward intensity and make things much more enjoyable.
Remember to be gentle. With normal stroking, the motion is repetitive but split into two parts. With the upward stroke, you’ll be increasing the same motion in the same direction in the same location, which could lead to friction-induced chafing, or other tissue damage if you do it too hard.
4. Edging and JOI
“Edging” is a pretty common term on the internet these days, so chances are you’ve heard it in a meme or in the comments of a post or video.
But what is it exactly?
Simply put, “edging” is the practice of pausing and elongating sexual stimulation, like stroking or thrusting in penetrative sex, so that the stimulation is spread out. As you’ve probably noticed, the more stimulation you provide, the quicker you orgasm.
Edging is a technique that aims to delay orgasms as, for people with penises, orgasms usually mean the end of a particular sexual activity (at least for a while).
To “edge” effectively, you need to time your strokes. Only you know your body, and you know when you’ll start to feel the stimulation reaching a climax that’ll soon mean an orgasm and ejaculation.
So take it slow, “ration” out each stroke to ensure steady, but intermittent stimulation. If you’ve never seen a “JOI” (jerk off instruction) video, there are many that use timers, red and green “stoplights,” or other means to help you take things slow and steady.
5. Massage Your Testicles, Tease Your Nipples
People seem to equate penises with simple pleasure, and focus all their efforts accordingly.
But everyone has multiple erogenous zones. Everyone’s nipples are sensitive, for example, and have powerful nerves that can be stimulated to create powerful sexual pleasure.
The same can be said about the scrotum itself. Covered in sensitive skin and close to the penis, massaging this skin gently can create pleasure.
The important thing to remember with testicle or scrotum massaging is to be very gentle. Don’t squish, push, or twist. Focus on the skin, almost as if petting and dragging it. You can also focus on the areas closest to the base of the penis, as these will stimulate the penis gently and in a way you might’ve never felt before.
Play with your nipples too. Use one or two fingers and massage one of your nipples slowly. You can pull on it a little, flick it, and push it deeper in a gentle way. Touching your nipple in any of these ways with your nondominant hand, while stroking your penis with your dominant hand, is a great way to add a new dash of pleasure into your usual masturbation routine.
6. Clay
For this technique, place both of your hands around your penis, open, with the palms flat against your erect shaft. Now, start gently rubbing your hands together, rubbing and rolling your penis around in them.
Think of a sculptor molding a piece of clay by rolling it between their hands. The trick here? Remember to use a lot of lube to make things smooth!
Also, don’t try to rotate your penis the whole way, as that could cause a tear or injury. Instead, gently roll it one way, then the other, but never a full 360°.
7. Temperature Play
Most people never experiment with temperature play, either during sex or during masturbation. That’s a shame, because some (safe) temperature play could be exactly what’s missing from your stimulation sessions!
For this, masturbate as you usually would, but grab a few ice cubes from your fridge and heat a bowl of water up and stop when you see a beat of steam.
Now, dip a hand towel into the bowl and wrap the ice cube in a tissue.
Before masturbating, make sure the towel isn’t too hot by touching it with one finger. Remember that the skin of your penis is much more sensitive than the one on your finger.
Start masturbating. When things get intense, reach for the warm hand towel and wrap it around your penis. The warmth will bring a completely new sensation for you!
Now, keep masturbating. Reach for the ice cube wrapped in tissue paper, and touch it to the skin of your shaft or to the head of your penis. This is a great way to edge, as the cold will make things numb, which means you can keep stroking and you’ll delay the orgasm.
8. Pillow Humping and Grinding
Who says you can thrust or grind when you’re masturbating?
For this technique, you’re gonna need a few pillows, preferably with a bit of firmness. Prop them up on your bed, then lie on top of them while erect.
Now, start thrusting into the pillows. Remember to take your time and savor it, don’t just thrust nonstop, let the fabric and foam drag over the sensitive skin of your shaft. This is called pillow humping, and it’s a popular way to incorporate the thrill of penetration into masturbation.
But don’t just thrust. Grind your penis into the pillows by moving your hips in a circular motion. Grinding, also known as dry humping, can be done with or without clothing, and it can also be done with a partner!
9. The “Money” Gesture
Have you ever rubbed your thumb, index, and middle fingers together as if to signify “money?”
Instead of gripping your shaft and stroking up and down, simply place your index and middle fingers on the backside of your erect penis, and your thumb on the side facing you.
Now, move your fingers in a circular motion, gently rubbing circles into the skin of your shaft. The idea here is to massage the sensitive skin, stimulating the delicate nerves there with very little force. Trust us, you’ll feel like a million bucks.
10. The BJ
No, we’re not talking about giving yourself a blowjob. Instead, put a lot of lube on your hand. Make a tight circle with one hand, and put it around the upper half of your penis. Now move your hand up and down in rolling motions.
Think of the bottom of the circle in your hand as the “lips” of someone giving you a blowjob. Roll that circle around, imagining that it’s your ideal partner’s lips. By cupping your hand close, or cupping your two hands together and leaving only the bottom opening, you can even create a light suction feeling. But to do this, you have to make sure to leave an open space between your closed hands.
Now let’s get into something fun that many men and people with penises don’t consider: sex toys! When most people think of sex toys, they think of dildos or vibrators, but the truth is that there’s a wide world of sex toys specifically for pleasing and teasing the penis.
Let’s take a look at how they can help you level up your masturbation game.
11. Male Masturbators
Like their name suggests, male masturbators are toys that are specifically designed to masturbate their users.
If you’ve ever wanted a handjob machine, something that can please you on its own, without you having to use your hand, a male masturbator is what you were looking for.
While there are many male masturbators out there, we want to recommend on that really stands out from the rest.
● Skull Man
Skull Man is bold, fun, and embodies punk rock energy. It’s a great way to enter the world of male masturbators in style, giving you three sex toy features in one.
With 5 thrusting modes, 10 vibration modes, and lifelike heating, Skull Man’s textured inner sleeve will take your masturbation game to the stratosphere.
12. Cock Rings
Cock rings are sex toys that, like the name implies, fit around your penis like a ring. If you’re into edging, cock rings actually help with edging by restricting the blood flow into your shaft and allowing your erection to last longer. We recommend:
● Usagi
Usagi is a powerful, versatile cock ring that’s perfect for both beginners and cock ring experts. With an adjustable size, a convenient remote control, 9 vibration modes, and endless combination of uses, Usagi will keep you begging for more.
You can use it during penetration and its ears will tease your lover’s clit. You can use it to stimulate your nipples or your partners, and other erogenous zones. You can also wear it with the ears facing down and inward, giving you a titillating scrotum massage while you masturbate!
13. Flesh Lights
Flesh lights are toys meant to replicate both the outer and inner anatomy of a vagina, and capture the experience of thrusting into a vagina during penetrative sex.
We recommend:
● PULSE
Pulse is a top of the line flesh light. With one glance, you can see it stands out with its realism and premium design. With body-safe silicone both inside and out, Pulse provides a lifelike thrusting experience by copying real human skin. With 10 vibrating modes and 8 thrusting modes, it has more than enough combinations to keep surprising you even months later.
And that’s not all, Pulse really ups the game with its innovative video sync feature. Through the BeYourLover App, Pulse syncs its thrusting and vibration to the action in a video. So get ready to experience your favorite clips like you’ve never imagined before!
14. Try Anal Stimulation
If you’ve never tried anal before, you might be a little hesitant. You might think that anal is only for women or for homosexual men, but the truth is that anyone can experience anal stimulation. In people with penises, anal stimulation is incredibly pleasurable, and it has nothing to do with sexual orientation.
15. Mix and Match!
Remember what intimacy coach Kiana Reeves said. When it comes to masturbation, you can’t just rely on what’s worked before. Your body and your mind can grow accustomed to what you’ve tried too many times.
So mix and match the techniques on this list! Use sex toys, stimulate your nipples, try different positions.
Conclusion
Masturbation doesn’t have to be static, it can be as dynamic as your sexual fantasies! Remember to expand your horizons and stay safe by not pushing things too far, too fast.
