Situationship Pros and Cons: Should You Stay or Move On?
You text each other good morning and good night. You hang out, share inside jokes, or even toothbrush space, but the moment you ask them, “So, what are we?” The air shifts faster than Wi-Fi in airplane mode.
Your relationship status on Facebook is always “it’s complicated.” You find you’re stuck in the gray zone, too much to be just friends with benefits, and too undefined to feel secure in your relationship.
If this sounds familiar to you, your relationship might be situationship, honey.
It’s important to know what kind of relationship you have with your partner, labeled or unlabeled, so you know what to expect or if you should expect anything at all. Knowing if you’re in a situationship will help you feel at ease, or even help you decide if you want to continue the relationship or not.
What Is Situationship?
According to Time, the word situationship was popularized by writer Carina Hsieh in 2017, right when dating apps were rewriting the rules of connection. She described it as a “hookup with emotional benefits,” which is not to be confused with friend with benefits, which starts platonically and turns physical.
Let’s be honest, dating in 2025 feels like walking through a fog with a half-charged phone and no GPS, thanks to those dating apps, where finding a date is now easier than ever. And because finding a date is easy, it’s also easy to feel drawn to someone, like there’s chemistry, you also spend time together, and everything feels relationship-y, until you find out that there’s no label in your relationship.
That, my friend, is situationship.
In other words, a situationship exists in the gray area between friendship and casual relationships and commitment. There’s no title, no exclusivity, no promises about the future.
It’s like casual dating, where it’s mostly about having fun and exploration, but not shallow enough to be labeled as casual. It’s like serious dating, where there can be deep feelings and a connection, but not deep enough to discuss commitments and the future.
People have different reasons why they engage in this kind of relationship. It can be for one or more of the following reasons:
- Fear of commitment
- Testing compatibility
- Busy schedules
5 Signs You’re in a Situationship
Here’s how to know if situationship is exactly what you’ve signed up for, whether you meant to or not.
1. No Labels, No Clarity
In short, you’re just vibing with your partner. You hang out, and you flirt, but you can answer the question, “What exactly are we?” And if you ask your partner about it, they also don’t even know how to answer the question, or the typical answer that you’ll get is, “Let’s not ruin what we have.”
2. Hot and Cold Communication
Some days, your partner is blowing up your phone, while other days are just pure silence. Plans can happen last-minute, texts get vague, and everything runs on their schedule. You never know if you’ll see them this weekend or not.
3. Couple Energy in Private, Stranger Energy in Public
Behind closed doors, you’re cuddling, cooking breakfast, maybe even meeting their pets. But out in public? You’re suddenly just a friend. No introductions to family or friends. No relationship bragging on social media. It’s like your connection or relationship only exists when you two are alone.
4. The Future Never Comes Up
Sure, you’ll talk about your weekend getaway plans or sexcapades, but never about building a family or having children. There’s no “someday” talk. There’s no direction or clear view on what the long-term is gonna be like. In other words, you only exist in the now. You only talk about the future plans if it’s just about hanging out or Netflix and Chill.
5. You’re Just an Option
If you’re in a situationship, expect that you are not the priority. Your partner will show up when it’s easy and convenient.
Here’s a video from Psych2Go that explains what a situationship is and the signs that you might be in one.
The Pros of a Situationship
Don’t get me wrong; Situationship is not that bad as long as you’re in the same boat. Let’s face it; not every situationship ends in a tragic love story, but it can work if you know what to expect.
So here’s the good side of that gray area:
Flexibility and Freedom
Imagine, no labels, no expectations, no pressure. You can focus on your career, hobbies, and personal growth without having to fit into someone else’s schedule. It’s about dating on your own terms, because no commitment’s gonna pressure you.
No Pressure
As mentioned, because you’re not in a committed relationship, you can’t expect your partner to ask you when you’re meeting the parents. You’re not racing toward marriage or kids. It’s refreshing, especially if you’ve come from relationships where timelines and labels felt suffocating.
Independence
You get to keep your own space, your own goals, your own identity. You can still care for someone and still prioritize yourself. It’s a connection without codependency.
Safe Exploration
If you’re not sure what kind of partner or relationship you really want, being in a situationship provides only a low-stakes consequence. You can experience chemistry and meet your emotional needs without long-term pressure or promises.
Emotional and Physical Connection Without the Responsibility
Humans are social creatures, so we naturally crave closeness. Situationship offers companionship and intimacy when you’re not ready to commit.
Less Drama
Without being in a traditional relationship, there’ll be less expectations and less to argue about. You don’t have to fight over missed calls or meeting the parents’ expectations. It’s simple, chill, and spontaneous.
The Cons of a Situationship
Now, let’s get to the other side of the coin. In a study by Jemise Gibson, women who had been in multiple situationships reported regret, inequity, and a deep sense of being used. In other words, it’s not all unicorns and rainbows.
Lack of Clarity and Direction
Without labels or boundaries, it’s hard to know what’s okay and what’s crossing the line. You always find yourself asking, “Are we exclusive?” “Can we date others?” or are you even allowed to ask these questions? The rules are unclear, so is your place in their life.
Emotional Insecurity
If you don’t know where you stand, your mind just fills in the blanks, usually with worst-case scenarios. You overthink texts, analyze tone shifts, and feel like you’re walking on emotional tightropes. This uncertainty often feels exhausting.
One-Sided Feelings Happen
At first, you’re both chill. Then, somewhere along the way, one person catches deeper feelings. If you’re this person, this can be heartbreaking, especially if your partner still wants to keep it casual.
Stunted Growth
Situationships rarely evolve. Without intention or direction, months can pass without progress. You stay stuck, emotionally invested, but with no real future to build on.
No Real Support System
You can count on your partner when it’s all fun and rainbows, but if you find yourself in a challenging situation, you can’t lean on your partner or count on them to even care. When life gets hard, you might realize you’re facing your own problems alone.
Missed Opportunities
Staying in a “maybe” relationship with the wrong person can stop you from meeting someone willing to have a serious relationship with you. Every month you spend waiting for your situationship partner to say yes someday is time you could’ve spent building something real with someone.
When a Situationship Becomes Unhealthy?
As mentioned, situationship can be a great option if both you and your partner are on the same boat, but if you find yourself in the following situations, maybe it’s time for you to end the situationship and move on:
- Frequently questioning “what are we?” without getting any answer from your partner.
- You’re the only one making an effort.
- You’re feeling used, neglected, and emotionally drained.
- You realize your partner only makes time for you when it’s convenient.
What To Do If You Don’t Want to Be in a Situationship Anymore?
If you find yourself falling deeper into your partner, who is not yet ready for commitment, maybe the setup is not working for you anymore. Here’s how to take back control:
Be Honest With Yourself
Before confronting your partner, ask yourself what you really want. Do you want exclusivity, a real relationship? Or do you just want to have more certainty in your relationship? Knowing your needs can help you communicate them clearly.
Have an Honest Conversation With Your Partner
Do not avoid the talk, even if it’s uncomfortable. Choose a calm situation to be direct with your partner without sounding confrontational.
Watch Their response
Their reaction can tell a lot. If they dodge the topic, change the subject, or say that they don’t do labels, well, that’s your answer, my dear. It’s up to you if you want to settle for mixed signals when it’s clarity you want.
Be Prepared to Walk Away
If your needs are not met, be bold enough to step back. Ending a situationship might hurt, but it’s better now than wasting more time in a fruitless relationship. Time and distance will give you space to heal and rediscover your growth.
Reconnect With Yourself
After the situationship ends, spend time with friends, pursue your goals, and rediscover yourself. Heal until you’re ready to be in a relationship again.
Final Thoughts
What’s great about situationships is that they can teach you what you want about relationships. It can offer excitement and connection, but it can also end in a sad ending. As long as you and your partner are okay with this kind of relationship, there’s nothing wrong with it.
But if either of you already craves clarity and labels, it’s also okay to clear things up or even walk away.
Special Thanks To:
Psych2Go
