Great sex doesn’t have to comply with someone else’s idea of “sexy,” but it’s about communication, trust, and what feels good.
First, let’s get one thing straight: there’s no such thing as “universal sex,” because it often comes in different curves, sizes, positions, and flavors. And your bodies don’t have to fit the standards of what you see in a magazine. It’s all about love and having an amazing time together.
But there might be times you catch yourself saying, “But we're plus-sized couples?” Sure, you can likely encounter some challenges here and there, but a little imagination can go a long way.
Just keep an open mind for now and see intimacy as something that shouldn’t fit anyone’s mold. Because you’re going to find out the best pleasure tips for plus-sized couples, for a pleasure that’s unmistakably yours.
First, What are the Most Common Myths in Plus-Size Pleasure?
Many people think a larger body can put couples in a tight spot. But in reality, you can always make it work just by making some simple adjustments.
In fact, users leaning on the heavier side shared their stories in this Reddit post, and they stated that with some position changes, it really enhanced their sex life.
Another user also said that the cowgirl sex position works best if the receiver is lighter in weight, but another said that missionary isn’t a good option for plus-size sex.
But for now, let’s take a peek at the most common myths about plus-size sex.
Larger Means Limited Acts
Sure, flexibility is an advantage if you want to do certain positions, but it’s not the only requirement for plus-size sex.
And some of the most comfortable plus-size sex positions that you can try (which we’ll talk about later) lean more into comfort, rather than turning yourself into a pretzel.
Being Adventurous is a No-No
Not really, because with the use of positioning pillows and making things extra slick using lube, you can do a lot of adventurous sex positions.
Your body size will never define what you can experiment with.
The Giver Needs to Support Their Partner’s Weight
There are lots of comfortable positions you can do together without standing or sitting. You can just both lie comfortably, and no one really needs to support another’s weight.
You Have to Do It Like in the Flicks
Real sex doesn’t have to look perfect like the last porn clip you watched. It’s about arrangements and finding the best positions that work and make you satisfied.
What are the Best Pleasure Tips for Plus-Sized Couples?
Curious about how to have sex as a plus-size? Then don’t forget to try these tips, because good sex is for everyone.
Play With Toys
Using toys during plus-size sex can be a helpful way to fully reach those areas, and here’s what we recommend:
Clitoral Vibes to Make It Extra Sensitive
Gaining weight doesn’t affect how you feel pleasure, and using clitoral stimulators can be electrifying for that hidden button.
For example, this BeYourLover Heart can give some gentle licking, but if you want powerful sucking, then the Naughty Clock is the winner.
Because being curvy doesn’t mean you won’t get those squirting orgasms!
Wand Vibrators for an Easier Reach
Our wand vibrators are made for all body types, and their features aren’t just limited to your privates.
This Leopard Duo isn’t just a pleasure wand, but it also comes with a flexible head to give rumbly vibes to any part of your body.
Dildos are Versatile for Any Position
The great thing about dildos is that they’re so easy to use and maintain, whether you go for the handheld type or the adjustable strap-ons.
These toys are also ergonomically angled to reach those pleasure areas inside, and come in lots of designs, like a cute bear design or even attachables.
Anal and Prostate Toys for New Pleasure
Anal toys are a great addition if you want to add another sensation, and some of them even come with a range play feature, so you can keep your naughtiness in control, wherever you are.
Find What Makes You Feel Sexy
Do you love to get naked? Wearing lingerie? Or even making some sexy dances while you’re at it?
Find out things that make you feel sexy, no matter what your size is, and you might eventually find out that you’ve fallen in love with your body as well.
If you’d like, you can watch yourself in your mirror too, because as stated in Elle, masturbating or having sex in the mirror can help with acceptance, body confidence, and connection, too.
Don’t Forget to Breathe
Sex is a physical activity, so you’ll get sweaty, your body will make noises, position changes are going on, and you might find yourself catching your breath.
Instead of pushing yourself too much, you can always take a break, sip some water, or if things get too tiring, you can give each other oral sex or a handjob to cool things off.
Intimacy should give you pleasure, not physical exertion, but if your breathing starts to get a bit heavy, then that means your body is doing something to lose those pounds. So keep slaying!
Remember the Aftercare
After some touching and reaching epic orgasms, plus-size sex doesn’t just stop there. Make sure to clean those areas, especially the skin folds, if you’re prone to irritation.
You can keep some unscented wipes on your bedside table to clean that gunk off, so you won’t have to take a lot of bathroom trips. And also, don’t forget to put some baby powder on your skin folds to prevent moisture that can upset your skin.
A medicated balm is also recommended to give those irritated spots some relief, if there’s any. You and your body deserve the best care; don’t forget that.
Get Creative With Your Furniture
Doing plus-sized sex isn’t only limited to doing it lying on your bed or couch.
You can also use the help of an upholstered chair, a sturdy table, or a stability ball to help elevate a body area.
Another tip is to use your headboard or wall as something to hold on to while getting down. This will make your play much safer and more long-lasting.
Feel It Rather Than See It
Sadly, in this day and age, there are still opinions lingering around that are against fat people. Fatphobia never went away, and it still affects plus-sized people today, leading to low self-esteem, depression, body dissatisfaction, or sometimes even substance abuse, according to Within.
So, if what you see in the media still makes you feel conscious, then why not “feel” things instead of seeing them, because for sure, your partner doesn’t really mind.
If there are times that you still feel awkward, you can always talk to your partner about how you feel, and there’s nothing that good communication can’t clear up.
Set Your Boundaries and Get Protected
Now that you’ve set the mood with some music and lighting, it’s also important to prepare your protection items and birth control pills for your peace of mind.
And before you start anything, talk about your boundaries, what you want to do, and your physical limits.
Curious About the Best Positions for Plus-Sized Couples? Let’s Check Them Out!
These plus-size sex positions will not only give you a more comfortable session, but also confidence.
The Jockey
To do the jockey, all the couple has to do is position themselves just like when doing the reverse cowgirl. The only difference is the giver leans on a stack of pillows during the action.
This position is great if the receiver wants to hide their belly fat, because it makes them less vulnerable, and they have all the room to move and ride their partner’s cock.
Bending Over
Similar to the doggy style, you can do this next position as its less-than-perfect version.
Instead of the receiver going fully on all fours, they can put some pillows underneath them for support. This is another position that hides their belly fat and lets their partner enjoy the view of their sexy back.
Spooning
If you’re tired from rough sex, then spooning is the best position to transition to if you both want to catch your breath, but don’t want to stop the action.
Because both of you can lie down on your sides, it keeps you closer and lets you appreciate each other’s curves more.
The Criss-Cross
The last position on the list also helps tuck that belly fat, and to do this, the receiver can lie on their side with bent knees. The giver can penetrate their partner and thrust faster as they get comfortable.
The receiver can also use some pillows to get them cozy and provide a much more stable pose.
Sideways 69
This more comfortable version of 69 can work well for chubby penis and vulva owners.
All they have to do is lie on their side and align their faces with each other’s genitals. Doing this position lets them forget that extra weight, as their mouths get busy.
They can also use some pillows to support their necks, or put them between their legs for extra support.
FAQs
Are condoms effective for plus-sized couples?
Yes, condoms are effective no matter what your body size is, as long as you use them correctly. Check the proper fit, expiration, and use a new condom before every act. And make sure to avoid using oil-based lubricants when using one, as it may weaken the latex material.
How can we make sex less tiring as plus-sized couples?
Just try to see intimacy as a shared experience, rather than a performance. You can take pauses, use touches as an alternative, or do light activities that are more sustainable. Both of your comfort matters the most here, and not endurance.
As a couple, how can we build a more body-positive connection?
Always focus on things that you appreciate the most about each other, and don’t limit yourselves to what meets the eye. Doing small favors, using respectful language, and encouraging each other can go a long way, even beyond the bedroom.
Can we still enjoy sex even if we’re not that flexible?
Definitely! Flexibility isn’t a major requirement when it comes to sex, and a lot of couples reported that by just changing the angle, pacing, or support, it made a big difference for them.
Being Big is Always a Plus
Your body is not your limitation, and every size, shape, and pleasure is meant to be celebrated.
Sex isn’t something that you should squeeze yourself to fit into someone else’s fantasy, but it’s about two people who know what they like and are ready to explore chemistry.
And as long as you communicate openly, instead of always “making it work,” sex becomes a thing that you actually look forward to.
So grab your tools, and let your desire lead the way, because there’s always room for everyone who loves to discover themselves.
And if you’re ready to discover yourself today and more, you can always explore BeYourLover’s collection of toys, because great chemistry deserves great company.
Special Thanks:
Krishika Bhatia - Writer - Elle
Marisa Crane - Writer - Within
If you want to make your plus-size sessions much more fun, then you might want to read our guides to BDSM Sex Positions, Tips for Long-Distance Sex, and The Best Beginner Toys for Couples.
You might also like:
Best Cowgirl Positions for Vulva Owners
