This is one of those topics where porn expectations and real deepthroating don’t match at all.
You’ve seen the porn, tried to go all the way to imitate the deepthroating “technique” you just saw, but you ended up vomiting with watering eyes and low confidence.
First of all, don’t you ever think that there’s something wrong with you. You are not a pornstar. And even though you’re dreaming of becoming one or you are one (no judgment here), deepthroating is a learned skill. It is not something that comes out naturally if you do it for the first time.
Because it’s a skill, it means you can learn this. Although you can get some pointers on porn. It is not actually a good how-to guide. And this guide will teach you how and everything you need to know about deepthroating, so you are ready the next time you want to surprise your partner.
Is It Worth Trying?
Remember that no one should force you on what you want or don’t want to do in bed, including deepthroating. It is not a must have in your bedroom routine. However, if you want some variety and you want to try it, you can go for it.
On whether it's enjoyable or not, people usually have mixed reactions to this.
“My SO's dick is really thick and girth-y, so whenever I went down on him, his dick wouldn't fit in my throat and would instead just hit the "end" of my mouth over and over, so like half of his dick wouldn't even go in my mouth. I made it a point to learn how to give the best bjs I possibly could, so I watched some porn and learned a couple tricks to not gag, like squeezing my thumbs inside my hands, breathing steadily through my nose etc and I finally managed to get it all in! Now that's pretty much all I fantasize about when I'm horny, getting mouth fucked hard and him cumming on my face” - lifefennec
“It's truly so pleasuring to deep throat your man's dick and watch his half-lifeless body wiggle around with a god damn smile on my face” - Yondershock
“My ex boyfriend, who I dated for 7 years, was normal sized but showered like once every two months due to severe untreated depression. I hated going down on him and rarely did because - ew.” - Wolveskeepyouwarm
In the end, it all boils down on your experience. You can try it and see it for yourself if you like it or not. But one thing is for sure, doing it should feel pleasurable for you, and do it because you want to and not out of obligation.
The Biggest Myths About Deep‑Throating, Debunked
I know you’re excited to learn how to actually do it, but hear me out: it’s important to know what to expect when it comes to deepthroating. You need to make sure you know the truth, because a wrong belief can even put your life and health in danger.
Myth 1: Deep‑Throating Permanently Enlarges a Penis
Although this belief is not life-threatening, it’s a popular fantasy: the idea that repeatedly deep-throating someone will somehow stretch or permanently enlarge their penis.
Well, no. That’s not how anatomy works.
If you or your partner want to change the size and shape of their penis, they should undergo surgical procedures. There are also some medical devices that can also enhance the penis size.
In reality, deepthroating enhances pleasure for the partner receiving oral sex. However, the giver can also get pleasure from it; the sensation of total engulfment can feel deeply intimate and exciting for both partners.
Myth 2: Unprotected Oral Sex Is Risk‑Free “Safe Sex”
Now, this is where it gets dangerous or even life-threatening. Many people believe that because it’s oral sex, it’s completely safe. While that might be true if you’re only trying to avoid pregnancy, when it comes to overall health, this is 100 percent false.
People often treat oral sex, including deep-throating, as a loophole around real sex, assuming it’s safe because there’s no penetration of the vagina or anus.
Research by WebMD shows that several STIs can be passed through unprotected oral sex. Teens and adults who reported only having oral sex have still tested positive for sexually transmitted infections. So, skipping condoms doesn’t magically protect you just because it’s done with your mouth not with your genitals.
Here are some STIs oral sex can transmit:
- Gonorrhea
- Chlamydia
- Herpes (HSV-1 and HSV-2)
- Syphilis
- Human Papillomavirus (HPV)
- Hepatitis (certain types)
- HIV (especially if there are cuts, sores, or bleeding gums)
The overall risk level depends on the specific infection, the presence of sores or cuts in the mouth, and whether ejaculation happens in the mouth. But the belief “oral is safe” is a myth that needs to die for good.
Also, HPV (Human Papillomavirus) is one of the most common sexually transmitted infections worldwide. Some strains are low risk and cause things like genital warts. Others are high risk and associated with cancers.
Cleveland Clinic reports that: Roughly 60–70% of throat cancers in the U.S. may be linked to HPV infection.
People who’ve had multiple oral-sex partners, especially six or more, have a noticeably higher risk of developing HPV-related throat cancers.
To be clear, this doesn’t mean you’ll automatically get cancer once you contact it. That’s not how risk works. But it means that unprotected oral sex with multiple partners over a lifetime increases HPV exposure.
Since deepthroating involves intense, repeated contact between genital skin or fluids and your throat, HPV can infect this area.
That’s why getting vaccinated for HPV, getting tested for STIs, and using protection are essential when it comes to sex. Deepthroating is no exception, particularly if you are sexually active.
Myth 3: Everyone Should Be Able to Do It Without Gagging
If you're like most people, you’re probably reading this because you’ve gagged during oral sex before, or maybe you're just looking for pointers on how to prevent it.
You shouldn’t feel bad about gagging, because it’s normal. If others can do it for the first time, then you shouldn’t compare yourself to them. Gagging is a protective reflex that keeps you from choking, aspirating, or swallowing something harmful.
Therefore, when something touches your soft palate, the back of your tongue, or your upper throat, your body automatically reacts, and it doesn’t discriminate between food and a dick.
Some people have a sensitive gag reflex. Others can tolerate more without reacting. Both are normal. Just like some people are more ticklish, some are more gag-sensitive.
Deepthroating challenges this reflex, which is why so many people struggle with it or can only manage it in very specific angles or mental states.
The key point here is that struggling with it doesn’t mean you’re bad at sex. It means your body is working exactly as it was designed to.
Related: The Art of Oral Pleasure: How to Give Great Blowjob Like a Pro
The Facts for Safer and More Comfortable Deepthroating
Fact 1: Barriers Are Highly Effective
If you want to try deepthroating and also want to protect your health, which is something you really must do. Using barriers, such as dental dams and condoms, is your friend.
Keeping yourself protected reduces direct contact with genital fluids, and helps block STI transmission.
If the receiver complains that it doesn’t feel as good, remember that your health is not an optional bonus. And there are ways to make it hotter, eye contact, hands, dirty talk, rhythm, without sacrificing your safety. Trying different condom flavors can help too.
Fact 2: Communication and Awareness Prevent Injury
In porn, people push their limits. Givers take a massive amount of size, and let’s face it, they make it look easy. But we’re talking about real life here. When starting out, don't force it. Explore within your limits, because trust me, vomiting is something you and your partner definitely won't find hot.
So, when it’s uncomfortable, tell your partner. If they respect your boundaries, they deserve intimate time with you. If not, that’s a red flag.
Also, for the receiver, things can get pretty ugly as well. The frenulum, or the underside ridge of the penis, is sensitive and can tear if forced or bent abruptly.
So, practice.
And if you practice, set expectations before you start. Tell your partner what you are and aren’t open to trying. For example, tell your partner that you will go slowly and if you tap their thigh, they should pull back or need to stop moving.
The giver should control depth and pace. They should be in charge of how deep and how fast anything goes into your mouth. No grabbing the head, no forcing. Again, do not imitate what you see in porn.
Watch for pain. Both partners should be in tune with the other’s feelings. And if you feel nauseous or light-headed, stop immediately.
How to Do It Safely?
Now, we’re at the part where you will learn how to deepthroat. And here’s how:
1. Practice
I mentioned practice before, but this time, I’m going to dive a bit deeper into it.
Practice is crucial for desensitizing your gag reflex so you don’t gag or vomit when you do the deed. You don’t have to start with a real dick, either a toothbrush or a dildo works perfectly for training.
If you start with a real partner right away, you risk losing control of the pace, leaving you unprepared for what they might do out of pure excitement.
2. Start Slow
Once you’re ready to take the real thing, start slowly. As mentioned, do not copy what you saw in porn. Take a deep breath and do not push your limit. Find the right angle or sex position where you can deepthroat your partner more comfortably.
If you think you can’t take your partner’s whole manhood, use your hands too.
3. Enhance Intimacy
Learn the most sensitive parts of the dick and pay attention to them. Tease the head, as it is very sensitive. If you want it to be more exciting for him, you can also hum. The vibrations will send him to heaven.
You can also use your hands to fill the parts that you can’t cover if he’s really that big. Or you can also use your hands to touch his balls.
If you want more control, put your hands on his legs or stomach to control the speed.
4. Pay Attention to Your Partner
Whether you are the giver or the receiver, it's important to pay attention to your partner’s body language. Make sure they’re comfortable with the experience. You can talk about signals beforehand to make your partner understand whether to continue or stop.
Key Takeaways
Deepthroating is not something you should try if you want to add more excitement in the bedroom, but make sure that both of you are really into it. Because if this isn’t done right, it might get you a trip to the ER or you might acquire STIs which are not hot.
If you want to do it, practice, start slow, tease your partner, and be aware of each other.
Do you want to learn more about how to have spicier sex? Learn How to Have Dirty Sex, the Sexual Fetishes Every Guy Should Try Once, Lavender Marriage, and Sexual Chemistry 101.
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