longer sex without burning out

My Partner’s Into Longer Sex Sessions, But I Quickly Get Exhausted

“Thrusting for longer than five minutes makes me lose my steam.”

If you have a partner who loves long sex sessions, but you feel like you always get tired in a jiffy, then you’re not alone. Not lasting as much as you like during sex can be a common struggle for most people, especially for folks who lose their energy faster than average. 

But by learning why this happens and how you can manage it, you can both enjoy things without any stress or disappointment.

The Difference in Stamina Levels

Each person has a different level of sexual stamina, and the biological and physiological differences often play a role. 

While most penis owners have generally higher muscular strength and endurance because of the effects of testosterone, they have an increased muscle mass and cardiovascular capacity when you compare them to people with vulvas. And these factors take effect usually after puberty.

So, when faced with something like underperformance, it can be a huge deal, especially in male-dominated societies.

In this post, a Reddit user shared their experience about how penis owners can get tired after the release. So it’s best to wait at least 10-15 minutes before the next action to sustain the stamina.

They also advised using positions that can help penis owners to move horizontally, because during this time, they won’t work against gravity that much.

best sex positions for men
My Partner’s Into Longer Sex Sessions, But I Quickly Get Exhausted 7

Do You Easily Get Tired During Sex?

Not performing well during your lovemaking moments isn’t something weird. So it’s best not to stress over things because it can happen to most people.

Because all of that moving and holding positions can wear you out fast, especially if you’re not in great shape.

Reasons You Don’t Last Long

Psychology

Our minds can highly influence our sexual performance, and in a study made by Gerogiadis and Holstege of PubMed, the brain and penile stimulation always go together. 

And when scans were conducted, it showed that during penile stimulation, there was increased activity at the right side of the brain that processes moods, emotions, and feelings from rewards.

The brain influences the body and vice versa, so if your emotions are heightened during sex, especially if you’re anxious, chances are you might make a slight blunder (and it’s okay).

The Experience and How Often It Happens

If you’re having sex for the first time or you just don’t get some frequently, you might not be able to control when you finish. 

So, if you want to last longer, you can extend your ejaculation time with some practice.

Testosterone

The testosterone levels, whether high or low, can also affect your sex drive and can even make you feel weaker during imbalances.

Hyperthyroidism

For people with penises who have an overactive thyroid, having too much can affect your performance too. In fact, most penis owners who live with hyperthyroidism often suffer from premature ejaculation as well.

You’re Dealing With Something More

Do you feel like your body is robbing you of energy? Because if your body is fighting extra hard just to keep it going, then you may have other issues that you need to address.

For example, conditions like Crohn’s disease and rheumatoid arthritis can make people feel so exhausted, to the point that they don’t want to get out of their beds.

Depression and anxiety can play a role as well. Like robbing the desire to make love to your partner. So, if you feel like you’re having medical issues and it’s now affecting your performance, it’s best to give your healthcare provider a call.

Any Relationship Trouble?

Are there any ongoing issues that both of you need to resolve? Because if there is, it can cause tension and even drain both of your energies. And it gets much worse if you don’t communicate properly.

The Role of Fitness, Nutrition, and Health

Sexual stamina has always been linked to fitness, nutrition, and overall health, so small changes in your lifestyle can surely make a big difference.

Exercise for Endurance

When doing cardio regularly, just like running, swimming, or biking, it makes your heart healthy, which is a huge factor if you want to last longer in bed.

Eat for Energy

Foods that are rich in complex carbs, just like lean protein, vitamins (B, C, and D), and minerals (zinc and magnesium) can help support hormone balance and keep your energy up. So try to add some oatmeal, spinach, nuts, and fatty fish on your next plate.

Your Healthy Habits Matter

It’s always best to manage stress, get quality sleep, and maintain a healthy weight to help you avoid any fatigue.

Physical activity along with healthy habits is more than just feeling good. It builds your stamina and also improves strength and balance so you can do as many sexual positions as you want (talk about win-win!).

How Pressure Can Affect Your Stamina

When you’re worried about your performance or pleasing your partner, your brain goes on high alert.

So this triggers a flood of stress hormones that can cause your blood vessels to tighten, so there’s less blood flow where you need it most.

And the result? It’s harder to stay aroused or maintain an erection.

Performance anxiety creates a sneaky cycle: stress leads to sexual problems, which then cause more stress. As this mental pressure distracts you, it gets tougher to focus and enjoy the moment.

And here’s the kicker: it’s not just penis owners who feel this. Vulva owners experience it too, which can lead to less arousal and a lower desire. 

You Can Explore the Alternatives During Breaks

If you get easily tired during sex, then this is the perfect time to switch things up!

You can use those little breaks to try other kinds of touch, kissing, or sensual play.

You can think of it as moments to get creative, like incorporating massaging, teasing, or just cuddling during play. For sure, it can help you recharge, relax, and get ready to jump back in feeling refreshed.

10 fiery ways to spice up your sex life
My Partner’s Into Longer Sex Sessions, But I Quickly Get Exhausted 8

Tips to Help You Build Your Stamina in the Bedroom

How about you check these effective tips to help boost your stamina and keep the passion going?

Get Moving

Sex is a physical workout! Improving your fitness with cardio and keeping your weight and BMI in check can always make a big difference.

Try Kegel Exercises

To keep it strong, strengthen your pelvic floor muscles with Kegels. And because these simple contractions can improve the way you control your muscles, they can help delay ejaculation during sex.

Extend the Foreplay

Do you agree that penetration is usually the shortest part of sex? So why not make the foreplay last?

Longer foreplay can also help relax you both so it becomes easier to hold off an orgasm.

Outercourse: Intimacy Beyond Penetration
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Talk It Out with Your Partner

Open communication about your needs will always help to take the pressure off. Because once you and your partner understand what works, that’s the only time sex becomes enjoyable.

Use the Pause-Squeeze Technique

Feel close to finishing? You can try to stop and squeeze the base of your penis to reduce arousal to keep the erection much longer.

Switch Up Your Positions

Some positions are more stimulating and lead to quicker orgasms, so experiment to find the ones that make you last.

Breathe Deeply

Doing some slow, deep breaths can calm your mind and body, so you’ll feel at ease.

Consider Numbing Creams

Topical creams with mild anesthetics can help reduce sensitivity and can even delay ejaculation, as long as they’re directly used.

Avoid Alcohol and Drugs

Because these substances can lower inhibitions, things can lead to faster ejaculation and decreased stamina. So staying clear helps your performance.

The Use of Sex Toys to Help Balance Things Out

Are you still struggling to last longer in bed? Then find out how these sex toys can literally boost your stamina in a heartbeat.

Delay Condoms

Delay condoms are designed with a thicker material. Some even contain mild numbing agents to reduce sensitivity and help prevent you from finishing early.

Penis Rings or Cock Rings

Penis rings work by restricting blood flow, which can help maintain erections longer. Oftentimes, they also help slow down climax.

Available in different sizes and materials, you can always find one that’s likely to fit your comfort and size.

Vibrating Masturbators

These toys are great for solo practice or even partner play. And because they help you build control by allowing you to experiment with edging, it brings you close to orgasm and back off to train your stamina over time.

skullman
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Prostate Massagers

For those with a prostate, then this toy can provide strong pleasurable sensations for your hidden part.

And by strengthening your pelvic muscles for endurance using this toy, your control also gets better during sex.

Sex toys aren’t just about the fun, but they can seriously boost a penis owner’s sexual health and confidence too!

Because, as stated by Dr. Sarah Jarvis from Patient.info, using sex toys can even help common issues like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, low libido, and even physical challenges after surgery. 

Signs You Might Need Some Professional Help

It's important to know when you should get expert support, so if you’re facing struggles with performance, stamina, or pleasure that just won’t go away, it might be the perfect time to talk with a healthcare pro.

Signs you shouldn’t ignore:

  • Persistent Problems - If issues like erectile dysfunction or low libido last for more than a few months despite lifestyle changes.
  • Relationship Impact - When sexual troubles start causing stress, frustration, or distance between you and your partner.
  • Physical Symptoms - Pain during sex, changes in sensation, or other unusual signs might be your body’s way of telling you something.
  • Emotional Distress - Once you start to get anxious, embarrassed, or depressed because of sexual difficulties or your partner’s feedback starts to bother you.
  • No Improvement from Self-Help - If an improved diet, exercise, or stress reduction haven’t worked, seeking some medical or therapeutic options can likely make a difference.

Last Longer in Bed by Using Tips and Toys That Work

Alright, folks. Lasting longer in bed is about way more than just muscles. But it's about taking care of your whole self: your body, your mind, and yes, even getting a little help from some fun toys!

A bit of cardio, eating right, and chilling out can turn you into a stamina superstar. And hey, don’t forget those sex toys, because they’re not just party favors, instead, they can help you control those fireworks to keep you going strong.

So, if you’re ready to boost your love making and keep the fun going, then slide on over to BeYourLover to find all the naughty toys that’ll help you stay in the game!

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Sexologist

Liz B.

Liz has always been passionate about helping people with intimacy, relationships, and personal well-being. She finds joy in creating a judgment-free space where her readers can feel informed, comfortable, and confident in their own skin. Professionally, Liz has been a writer for over 12 years. In her free time, you’ll find her in a martial arts class or swimming lesson. She is also on her way to becoming a wellness instructor. When she is not on the move, she enjoys reading or listening to self-help, romance, and sci-fi books, or learning new skills just for fun.