Have you ever felt used, like someone only touches you when they need something, but treats you like a stranger when you have no use at all?

It’s mean and devastating. 

As humans, we all have this desire to be touched, like a genuine touch, not a fake touch. Especially if you’re a man. Sensual touch is a biological necessity because it can give you health benefits, relationship confidence, and even boost your sexual health. 

The Difference Between Sexual Touch and Sensual Touch

Let’s clear this up first: not every touch has to end in sex. 

Most men were never taught that. You’re trained to see touch as a transaction. If she’s touching you, you should perform. If you’re touching her, it should lead somewhere.

Sensual touch is different. It’s not just about putting your cock inside her, climaxing, or pleasing your partner. What sensual touch really is refers to warm, slow, intentional contact through hands, skin, breath, or other means. There should also be no pressure for you to get hard, finish, or impress.

In other words, it’s more of the experience itself, rather than the performance. 

The “Touch Starvation” Epidemic in Men

The truth is, everyone is wired for connection, even men like you. When you go long without genuine and affectionate touch, your body feels it like starvation, thus the term, touch starvation. 

Men are especially vulnerable to it because:

• Most non-sexual touch stops after childhood.
• Male friendships rarely include affectionate contact.
• In relationships, touch often shows up during sex, which is not wrong, by the way, but it should also be done outside the bedroom. 

Affectionate, sensual contact, such as hugging, cuddling, and caressing, helps regulate stress hormones and gives the brain a felt sense of safety and connection.

When you’re deprived of that, you’ll feel chronic tension, and you’ll also feel always on alert. You’ll also feel lonely even though you’re not physically alone, and you’ll find it hard to relax into intimacy because you’re always expected to impress. 

Therefore, you should not be shy about it when you seek real sensual touch, because it’s normal. If somebody tells you you’re needy, just say it’s because you’re human, not a robot.

Benefits of Sensual Touch in Men

Here are the reasons you should not skip sensual touch in the bedroom: 

Sensual Touch Eases ED and Performance Anxiety

As mentioned, sex is like an opportunity to perform for most men, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Because if you do, you’ll feel pressure and less into the experience. 

My boyfriend Nick was like that before. I told him he didn’t have to prove anything and that it was okay to just be himself. It wasn’t easy at first, because the idea that he needed to impress in bed seemed deeply ingrained in him. It took time before he felt completely at ease and able to simply enjoy the experience.

Sexual experience will feel like a puzzle, not an opportunity to be intimate and relax. Your body will react with stress, which can also affect your erection during sex. 

But if you just focus on the experience of sensual touch, without demands and a goal to impress your partner, an erection will naturally happen. 

Research shows that affectionate, safe touch helps men tune back into their own bodily sensations, which can indirectly improve erection quality and sexual confidence. 

Managing Premature Ejaculation Through Mindful Touch

If you’ve ever felt like you finish faster than your partner, it’s called premature ejaculation, which is another bedroom problem. 

Like erectile dysfunction, anxiety, and lack of body awareness can also be contributing factors to premature ejaculation. 

Like in erectile dysfunction, mindful, sensual touch can help you retrain yourself to ejaculate naturally.  Practices often labeled as Tantric or mindful sensual touch have been shown to help men with PE by mindfully slowing down, reframing touch as exploration, and not hurrying to orgasm. 

According to a study published in Psychology and Behavioral Sciences, Tantric-style massage and mindful sensual touch prolong erections and delay ejaculation in men with PE, while also softening past sexual trauma and rigid gender roles.

In other words, when you learn to stay present to sensation instead of racing toward the finish line, your body naturally learns what it has to do.

Stronger, More Satisfying Orgasms

Here’s the part most men never hear about: sensual touch doesn’t just affect your prolonged performance in bed; it also builds up a cocktail of neurochemicals in your body, especially oxytocin, or the love hormone. 

Oxytocin enhances feelings of trust, connection, and pleasure.

Sustained touch can intensify orgasm by activating and amplifying pleasure pathways in the brain.

It means that orgasms can feel more emotionally satisfying, better ejaculation, and less post-sex crash. 

So you should not underestimate the power of sensual touch, as it has tons of benefits that will enhance your sexual experience.

Cardiovascular Benefits

Aside from what happens in the bedroom, sensual touch can also benefit you physically.  Let’s put the romance aside for a second and talk about your body. 

Studies on couples show that partners who regularly touch each other by stroking, holding, and gently caressing each other have lower cortisol (stress hormone), reduced heart rate, and lower blood pressure.

Immune System and Sleep Enhancement

Think about how you feel after the nights where you relax into deep connection, sex, cuddling, slow stroking, then sleep. 

Men report better sleep quality after partnered sex and intimate touch than women do. Over half of men say their sleep improves.

Affectionate touch boosts immune cells that help your body fight infections and potentially even cancerous cells.

Also, frequent ejaculation, which often occurs in partnered intimacy, has been associated with a lower risk of prostate cancer in men.

Deepening Emotional Connection and Relationship Satisfaction

Here’s something surprising: sensual touch doesn’t just benefit you when you’re on the receiving end.

According to Men’s Health, men report strong erotic and emotional gratification when they’re the ones giving touch. Yup, heard of pleasure doms? But that’s for another story. The point is that men can feel emotional gratification through sensual touch, like nipple stimulation or rubbing their clit. 

Nick loves to explore my body using sex toys, and I can feel that my pleasure is his pleasure too. All kinds of sex toys can be used—they’re meant to stimulate and enhance the experience. The one I recommend most for sensual touch is the Rosey. It’s a versatile toy that allows you to enhance stimulation in different ways. 

Many men feel that this is a satisfying experience for themselves. So, if you benefit from being on the receiving end, you might as well be on the giving end to experience this satisfaction. 

Ways to Explore Sensual Touch

According to PsyPost.org, around 68% of couples engage in some form of leg holding during intercourse. It is described as wrapping or interlocking legs. This kind of contact is linked to emotional closeness and higher sexual satisfaction for men as well as their partners.

You can also build intimacy through stroking, squeezing, hugging, and kissing your partner. These small, sensual acts are what make sex feel deeply intimate and connected.

Here’s a video of a couple, Jaiya and Ian, who share tips on how to practice sensual touch:

How Touch Repairs Attachment and Softens Conflict

If you’re married, it’s easy to feel like your relationship has gone into professional mode, where your main interaction now usually revolves around kids, bills, schedules, etc. There’s nothing wrong about it, but make sure to give each other time, and touch can act like a biological glue.

Because sensual touch can:

• Strengthen your relationship
• Buffer the impact of conflict and stress
• Make your relationship feel more satisfying

Even doing something as simple as a five-minute cuddle, back rub, or hand-holding is huge enough, instead of leaving everything in the bedroom. Also, as a man, this will make you feel less lonely.

From Just-Get-It-Done Sex to Sensual Touch

When you strip away the awkwardness and cultural baggage, sensual touch can give you tons of benefits, whether in the bedroom, physically, or even in your relationship. 

You can start by cuddling, kissing, or holding each other’s hands. And when you’re in the bedroom, make sure to focus on the experience. Take a deep breath, as you’re not here to perform. Just feel. 

And remember, receiving is as important as giving, and you will find satisfaction in it. 

One of the best ways to explore sensual touch and enhance it is through the use of sex toys. Visit Beyourlover.com to find one that fits into your lifestyle. 

Making your partner with a vulva orgasm isn’t just knowing about the secret tricks. When in fact, it may even come off as challenging sometimes.

So, just forget the old and boring advice you knew. Because we’re here to break things down using simple steps that actually work.

If you want to improve your art of stimulation, next, you’ll learn tips about how to make your partner with a vulva orgasm every time. So you can turn those sexy moments into a guaranteed win!

Are Multiple Orgasms Possible?

It totally is! And if you’ve ever wondered whether it’s just a sexy myth or a real thing, here’s the scoop: lots of people with vulvas can have not just one, but multiple orgasms in a single session.

According to an Instagram post by Dr. Laura Berman, the record holder for the person who achieved multiple orgasms reached 222 in one session (wow!).

Some can happen while they’re spaced out, and some come back-to-back like a fireworks show.

What makes it epic? Well, the anatomy of a vulva lets those contractions happen again without the annoying “cool down” most guys need (hello, refractory period!).

And if you want to know more about the not-so-secret facts, you can make an orgasm skyrocket by:

• Getting to know your or your partner’s body
• Flexing those pelvic floor muscles
• Mixing up the vibes and positions
• Adding some toys for that extra oomph

How to Reach More Orgasms During Playtime

First off, here’s a truth bomb: not everyone can climax from intercourse alone. Because most folks with vulvas need some clitoral stimulation to really get there.

And that stimulation doesn’t always mean direct touching. And sometimes, it’s all about the gentle touches around the sides or even through clothing.

The clitoris isn’t just the little nub you see. But it’s way bigger, extending like a wishbone deep inside, so don’t stop exploring!

Where to Find the G-Spot and How It Can Help Ace Your Game?

To find this super sensitive zone, you can try slipping a finger inside with your palm facing up to make a gentle “come here” motion.

Next, you’ll notice this part that feels a little bumpier or rougher than the surrounding tissue. Well, kind of like the texture of an orange peel.

Stimulating this little nugget can lead to powerful orgasms, and some say it’s even more intense than clitoral-only orgasms.

Also, keep in mind that not everyone can feel the same sensations in the G-spot area. And some people might feel a strong urge to pee when it’s touched because of its closeness to the urethra, but that’s totally normal.

A Comparison Between Clitoral and Vaginal Orgasm

When it comes to orgasms, vaginal and clitoral stimulation can feel pretty different.

Clitoral orgasms usually:

• Come on quicker
• Feel super intense
• Mostly focused right in the genital area

You can think of it like a powerful burst of pleasure that’s kind of localized.

On the flip side, vaginal orgasms tend to:

• Last longer
• Feel deeper
• Feels like a whole-body wave of sensation
• More intense

So, this might be the reason why some describe vaginal orgasms as more immersive.

Simple Steps You Can Do to Make Any Vulva Owner Reach an Orgasm

Do you know that, as stated on ISSM, a 2018 study of 2,304 vulva owners reported that before reaching an orgasm, it took them an average of 14 minutes of partnered sex before they reached the climax?

So, if you want to make sure that your vulva-having partner reaches orgasm, then below are some simple steps to help you nail it.

1. Power up Your Bedroom Play With Toys

Listen up! Vibrators aren’t just solo toys but rather a new secret weapon to bring your vulva-owning partner to the ultimate climax.

Over half of vulva owners use toys to hit an orgasm, and couples who play with toys can have more mind-blowing sex together.

So if you’re still on the fence, then it’s time to level up!

You can also go with a dildo, multi-use toys, or clitoral stimulators, or even with your fingers to show your best moves.

Or it might be time to grab that G-spot vibrator and get ready for some explosive fireworks!

2. Don’t Just Sprint to the Finish Line

The whole point of doing sex is pleasure and not just the orgasm, which is usually the shortest part anyway.

Slow it down, enjoy every move, and ditch the pressure to “make it happen."

Ironically, the more your partner thinks about having an orgasm, the harder it is to reach one. 

So, chill out, and just focus on making them feel amazing, and let the big O come when it’s ready. 

3. Go for Positions That Boost Clit Stimulation

Some sex positions seriously crank up clitoral stimulation, and that’s where the magic happens. 

One of the top go-tos is the lotus position. All you have to do is sit cross-legged and have your partner straddle you. As you face each other while wrapping their legs around you.

This lets you both stay super connected and get a lot of grinding action, which feels amazing on the clit.

And the best part? It’s more about sliding and rocking instead of bouncing, which means you’ll have longer-lasting pleasure without the thigh burn.

4. Give the Booty Some Love

The booty might not always get the spotlight in the bedroom, but it’s packed with nerve endings that can light up your partner’s pleasure like nothing else.

And just a gentle squeeze or spread of the cheeks can give your partner a surprising rush of ecstasy.

But heads up: always check if your partner is into booty love before dipping in. Keep it soft and slow at first and build up from there.

And if spanking is on the table for you two, make sure there’s a pre-game chat. So everyone’s on the same page before things get wild.

5.  Learn What Makes Them Melt

The surest way to blow your vulva partner’s mind is to tune into what they really like. Because let’s face it, everybody is different!

You can always use your mouth to sense what works for them and be mindful from teasing to that final, mind-blowing moment.

Next, look for the signs, like is their vagina getting slicker? Is the clitoris or the whole vulva starting to puff up? Because that’s your green light! 

So rather than guessing, be present, watch their body language, listen to their sounds, and let them take the lead whenever they want.

The better you know their pleasure map, the better your game gets. And the more unforgettable your sex will be.

6. Supercharge Their Fantasies

Next, ask your partner about their deepest fantasies. Because they aren’t just fun daydreams, but they can also seriously raise arousal and pleasure during sex.

Finding a fantasy that really turns your partner on can add a whole new layer of heat. As mental arousal can even be more important than physical touch, especially when it comes to hitting climax.

Want to get creative? Then you better try some role play or whisper an erotic story to fuel the fire.

7. Kiss Their Neck

Your partner’s neck is a total game-changer when it comes to pleasure.

The skin there is super sensitive, with thin blood vessels that are close to the surface. So it’s one of the best spots for some gentle teasing.

Forget hickeys (unless your partner’s into that). And instead, try giving soft, warm kisses along their neck, starting at the collarbone and sliding up to the jawline when you feel them getting close to climax.

8. Master Your Nipple Play

Nipples aren’t just cute, but they also have nerve endings that fire up the same pleasure center as the clitoris!

So how do you get in on it? You can start by being slow and gentle, or think of soft strokes, light kisses, and teasing around the tops and sides of the breasts.

Then work your way closer to the nipples using gentle licking or caressing. Don’t forget to mix it up by alternating kisses on the neck, earlobes, and collarbone to build anticipation.

Or, you can just try using a nipple cup massager to make things work much better.

9. Keep It Real and Ask for Feedback

Let’s be honest, because figuring out exactly what makes your partner melt isn’t always instant or obvious.

Since everyone’s body is unique, getting the right pressure, speed, and angle can take some trial and error. So don’t stress if you don’t nail it the first time; just ask them how you’re doing!

And the trick? Just keep it sexy and playful.

You can also add some compliments like "That feels amazing, so can you do a little more of that?" or "Ooh, how about a bit slower here?"

The non-verbal cues like moans, body language, and rhythm changes can also help and guide you.

Why Just Penetration Won’t Cut It for Vulva Orgasms (Here’s What Really Works)

For now, let’s break down why everything isn’t just about penetration and what really works to give pleasure to most vulva owners.

• Only about 18% of vulva owners can orgasm through vaginal penetration alone, as stated by Jeremy Mohler of Make Men Emotional Again, that means most of them need more than just penetration.
• The anatomy also matters, because the distance between the clitoris and vagina plays a big role. If the clitoris is more than 2.5 cm away from the vagina, then penetration alone is less likely to lead to an orgasm.
• This isn’t about your technique or partner, but it’s about how bodies are wired.
• Clitoral stimulation, together with penetration, is the key to achieving an orgasm for most vulva owners.
• Different positions that include clitoral contact often give better results than penetration alone.
• If you're struggling or confused, seeing a sex therapist can offer you some guidance.
• Remember, by embracing your or your partner’s unique body to find what works beyond penetration, you can help open the door to a more satisfying sexual experience.

Hacks to Boost Your Orgasm Game 

Is your orgasm game ready for an upgrade? Then these hacks will surely support you.

Get Those Pre-Sex Orgasms

Having an orgasm before sex can help increase the sensations, which can lead to stronger climaxes.

Experiment With Positions

Choosing positions like doggy style, woman on top, or just sitting in your partner’s lap can help you feel new angles for pleasure.

Stay Active 

Regular exercise can help improve circulation and mood to help prepare your body for better sex.

Eat Well

Giving yourself some quality food can also help support your hormone balance and physical energy.

Rest Up

Having enough sleep is also important when  maintaining your sexual desire and response.

Manage Stress

A chill mind can always be equal to hotter vibes, so maybe you can do some meditation or yoga to help you with this.

Embrace Self-Love

Knowing and loving your full body can give you confidence that will surely radiate during intimacy.

Build Your Connection for a Better Orgasm Game

If you want to make your partner with a vulva swoon every single time, then it’s not about rushing. But it’s about tuning in, learning more about their unique body, and mastering penetration and clitoral stimulation.

But if you find yourself needing more, you can always opt for the hottest collection of toys designed for vulva pleasure over at BeYourLover.

Because everyone deserves a mind-blowing orgasm journey. So try to explore, play, and turn every usual moment into an unforgettable one! 

For some penis owners, solo sessions can feel almost like a wild ride. Yet sometimes, going too hard can seriously wear out the poor penis.

It’s not something often talked about. But knowing why your manhood might be begging for mercy, and how to take care of it, can make all the difference.

So, you’d better get ready to see the effects of going full throttle solo, and also, let’s discover some smart ways to keep the fun going without the ouch!

Can Daily Masturbation Be Harmful for Penis Owners?

It’s something most penis owners wonder about! But masturbation is a totally natural and safe way to enjoy your body and boost your sexual health.

But here’s the catch: too much of anything can cause trouble. So, masturbating every day, especially if it’s a bit too intense, can likely lead to some surprising side effects, just like:

• Feeling worn out
• Dealing with sore skin
• Changes in sensitivity
• Performance issues

Going all out during solo can have consequences, plus, it might sneakily start messing with your daily life if it gets out of hand.

The good news? Knowing the signs and finding balance can keep solo sessions always fun and pain-free.

The Effects of Playing With Your Johnson Too Much

In this quick breakdown, we’ll dive into the surprising effects of too much action downstairs.

Psychological Effect

Solo play is totally normal. But doing it all the time can mess with your mind and body more than you might think.

Some penis owners even find themselves thinking about sex nonstop, and it starts to take over their lives. Sometimes, it can make you feel tired, forgetful, or even a little weak as well.

It Kills Your Desire

Doing it a lot can also likely kill the mood for actual sex with a partner. 

That’s because the brain gets used to the quick and easy pleasure of solo play, it makes real-life intimacy feel less exciting.

Messes With Your Sex Life

Going overboard can hurt more than just your mood because it can negatively affect your sexual performance, too.

Playing with your thing too often can lead to issues like premature ejaculation, where you finish way too fast, or erectile dysfunction, so it’s harder for you to get or keep an erection.

But Remember, Solo Play Can Be Beneficial Too

Why is masturbation actually good for penis owners?

• Kicks stress and anxiety to the curb
• Boosts your heart and lungs
• Helps control your sexual urges
• Releases feel-good chemicals for better sleep
• Lowers the risk of prostate cancer
• Strengthens your pelvic muscles for better sex
• Gives your immune system a little boost
• Improves your overall sexual satisfaction

Signs You’re Going Too Hard (And Why You Might Need a Break)

In a study made by Hera Heaven, 36.7% of penis owners use solo play as a method to relieve stress, as written by Nelsi Diaz. And roughly 13% of people masturbate every day and treat it as part of their daily routine. 

But too much of anything can be a problem. If masturbation starts taking over your overall life or causing issues, it might be time to take a step back.

Feeling Hurt?

Playing solo isn’t as harmless as it seems. But always stroking your sensitive parts without giving it a chance to rest or heal can likely cause problems in the future.

From mild skin irritation to serious issues like Peyronie’s disease, where scar tissue builds up inside your penis, it can be a clear sign to give your body a break.

Your Job’s Taking a Hit

If you can’t focus on work because all you’re thinking about is masturbating, then that’s a red flag.

So whether it’s watching porn on the clock or running late to meetings (because you were in the bathroom for too long), it’s time to recognize the problem.

…And Your Friendships

Are you canceling plans just to stay home and masturbate? Or your friends start getting tired of you flaking out?

It could mean your masturbation habits are starting to hurt your relationships.

Doing It at the Wrong Time and Place

If you find yourself masturbating at work, family events, or even in public, then it’s time for a serious reality check.

Losing control like this isn’t just embarrassing because it can even land you in legal hot water.

Potential Causes of Masturbation Discomfort Among Penis Owners

Have you ever wondered why solo play for penis owners can sometimes hurt?

Dysorgasmia

Dysorgasmia is a fancy word for pain that happens right before, during, or just after orgasm.

The pain usually hits the penis, testicles, the area between your balls and behind (called the perianal region), or even the lower belly. But for most penis owners, it’s just a mild annoyance. But some can have pretty severe pain that lasts minutes or, rarely, even hours.

It’s most common in folks who’ve had prostate surgery or radiation, and the pain is thought to come from pelvic floor muscle spasms following these treatments.

But the good news is, most guys just need to wait it out, because dysorgasmia usually gets better within a year on its own. 

But for those who need extra help, doctors recommend medications called alpha-blockers like alfuzosin or tamsulosin, according to pcf.org. 

So, if orgasms are painful, please don’t ignore them. There’s help out there to get you back to enjoying yourself pain-free!

Going Too Hard

Doing it too fast and roughly can actually bruise the penis tissue, which can be one of the main reasons why you feel some pain every time.

Your genital skin is super sensitive, so going too hard might cause some rashes and irritation on your privates.

Some penis owners can also feel pain right after orgasm, while others notice swelling or shooting pains in their testicles after a vigorous session.

And it’s not just about pain, because going too wild can mess with your timing, and this can cause premature ejaculation or even erectile problems.

So, it’s always best to take it easy and listen to your body.

Medical Causes You Should Know

Pain during masturbation or ejaculation is more common than you might think, and for some penis owners who experience it, the pain can last up to 24 hours.

Feeling this pain can be linked to several medical issues, like:

• Prostate inflammation (prostatitis)
• Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
• Chronic fatigue syndrome
• Side effects from antidepressants
• Urinary tract infections
• Nerve damage
• Surgeries
• Radiation treatments

Sometimes, discomfort and performance issues might also come from psychological factors like stress or anxiety.

How Overly Aggressive Sessions Impact Penis Sensitivity?

Being too aggressive can seriously affect your penis sensitivity, too.

It can even lead to something called "death grip syndrome," where your penis gets so used to the tight, intense grip. And the result? It numbs your sensation over time. 

So next time, you might need more force or different techniques to feel pleasure, and it could even make sex with a partner less satisfying.

Penile Injuries You Can Get From Vigorous Masturbation

• If you hear a loud pop and instantly lose your erection with pain and swelling, that might be a penile fracture. Yep, it’s a thing, so you better head to the emergency room ASAP.
• Bruises and swelling? That means you’ve been putting too much pressure or rubbing too roughly. Rest up, and ease off next time.
• Got cuts or raw spots? That’s a sign your skin needs some TLC. Please slow down and use more lube.
• Feeling sharp or shooting pains that don’t go away? Don’t ignore it; get it checked out.
• Seeing blood or having pain when you pee? It’s best to get medical help right away.

How Masturbation Can Help Premature Ejaculation and Prostate Cancer

If lasting longer in bed is your goal, then solo play can actually help!

Because, by practicing techniques like the stop-start and squeeze methods, you can train your body to hold back ejaculation.

It can also teach you to recognize when you’re about to finish, so you can control that moment and last longer with a partner.

And another benefit? If you’re a penis owner who practices solo play, it can also help protect your prostate.

According to the studies made by Health Harvard Publishing, it also shows that penis owners who ejaculate often tend to have a lower risk of getting prostate cancer by:

• Frequent ejaculation helps flush out toxins and reduce inflammation in the prostate to keep it healthier.
• It might help slow down the unwanted cell growth to keep things running smoothly and healthy down there.
• While it’s not a magic shield against advanced prostate cancer, regular release is a natural, no-cost way to support your prostate health.

So, masturbation isn’t just for fun and pleasure, but it can eventually help your sexual stamina and prostate health when done in the right amounts.

Some Tips to Help Your Penis Before and After Solo Play

Solo time is all about pleasure, but your penis deserves some TLC before and after too! So, below are some quick tips to keep your manhood healthy and happy.

• Load up on the lube - Dry masturbation is a no-go for long solo sessions. So use plenty of lube and keep reapplying it to avoid friction burns.
• Change your grip - You can try switching your hold and technique, so you can stop any one spot from getting too much pressure or irritation.
• Listen to pain signals -  When you’re super aroused, you might not notice pain until finishing a session. It’s advised to take breaks to check in with your body and adjust your grip or lube if needed.

Toy Time!

Do you know that using the right toys can seriously boost pleasure and even save your skin?

• Soft silicone sleeves or strokers - Stroking toys can provide you with a smooth, cushioned sensation without any harsh friction.
• Rechargeable cock or penis rings - Cock rings are great for adding new sensations and loosening up tight muscles around the base. And your partner might love it too!
• Automatic masturbators (like fleshlights) - These toys can help control speed and motion so your hand can get a break, which can help reduce the feeling of soreness, plus, it feels like the real thing!

If You Do End Up With a Sore Penis

• Take a break - Give your penis a few days off from solo play to help it heal and feel fresh again.
• Keep it clean, but gently - Wash your part using warm water and try to skip harsh soaps. After that, you can pat it dry using a soft towel.
• Use soothing creams - You can also look for creams with shea butter and vitamin E to hydrate and heal your skin. As these types of creams lean more on the natural side, they’re used to prevent further irritation.

Wanna Keep Your Penis Happy? It’s All About Improving Stamina & Staying Injury-Free!

Taking good care of your penis will always involve boosting pleasure, building stamina, and supporting the health of your prostate.

A little care goes a long way, and remember, once a pleasuring solo session is done right, it can be a natural boost for sexual wellness and confidence in the bedroom.

So, if you’re ready to take your pleasure and penis health to the next level, why not check out BeYourLover to get your amazing toys? All designed to make your solo sessions comfortable and always in style.

Penises often come in all shapes and sizes; while some are straight or curved, the heads can look pretty different too. From tiny to longer and skinny to thick, nature’s got a wild range going on. This variety is totally normal and makes every penis one-of-a-kind!

So if that grabbed your attention, let’s find out how different kinds and shapes of penises are as unique as they can be.

So What Does the Average Penis Shape, Size, and Appearance Look Like?

From an article written by David Schultz of Science.org, the average penis size is about 5.1 up to 5.5 inches long during an erection, with a girth of usually around 4.5 inches. When soft and at rest, the average length usually measures close to 3.6 inches.

For the shape, it varies widely among penis owners. Even the head shapes are different, which goes the same for the girth.

Notable Characteristics of a Penis

The penis is more than meets the eye, so how about diving into the most interesting features that make every penis one of a kind?

Girth

Depending on their circumference, penises may appear more slender or thicker.

The average girth of a healthy penis during erection is around 4.7 to 6.3 inches, while it’s 3.5 to 3.9 inches when flaccid, as stated by Dr. Kieran Seyan of Lloyds Pharmacy.

Curvature

Most penises appear straight when erect, but some may look bent or curved (upward, downward, or sideways).

A slight curve of about 10° to 20° during erection is normal and not usually bothersome. But beyond this range, like exceeding 30°, it can be noticeable.

But if the penis is so curved and causing some pain, it can also be a sign of Peyronie’s disease. This condition often happens when there’s an injury that makes the penis so bent that it starts to cause inconveniences during sex.

The curvature caused by Peyronie's disease can range widely, sometimes reaching 90° or more, and affects approximately 3% to 10% of penis owners, usually over 40 or 45 years old, as stated in Harvard Health Publishing. 

Base-to-Head Ratio

Some penises have a base and head that match in girth. But for others, they may have a larger head girth than the base, or vice versa.

Circumcised vs. Uncircumcised

Some penises have a layer of loose skin called the foreskin to cover the head and can be pulled back. But for people who’ve undergone circumcision, they remove this skin, usually for religious or cultural reasons.

Hair, Veins, and Color

Most penis owners have hair around the base of their penis, while their private parts can have visible veins. The color can also vary for most people, or it can be a different color from their natural skin.

The Different Types of Penises You’re Likely to Find

When it comes to the different kinds and shapes of penises, there’s no shortage of styles that you can celebrate.

Grower

Every penis is unique in how it looks and how it works. But when aroused, growers can become longer and thicker compared with others, which is a great factor to feel fuller during vaginal or anal sex.

As written by Sam Blanchard of the Daily Mail, there are about 26% of men that we can consider as growers. These penis owners have an average of 6.1 inches when they’re fully aroused.

Pro tip: There’s no special care for growers if they don’t go beyond the usual average penis size. But if they do, it’s best to wait until it’s fully hard before getting intimate.

Shower

The flip side of the grower, showers don’t see many changes once they get hard. It’s still the same size and shape, but don’t worry, because if your erect size can play nice, there’s no trouble for you or your partner.

Pro tip: Showers can fall within the typical size range when erect, so there are a lot of possibilities to enjoy all kinds of sex positions. 

Smaller Than Average (Length and Girth)

Well, thanks to our society’s obsession with penis size, many penis owners worry if they’re smaller than average. But no need to stress, because there are still a lot of things you can be confident about, just like your charm and performance.

Pro tip: If you encounter someone shorter or thinner than the usual, there are lots of sex positions that can work well for you. For example, the doggy style or missionary position, and by creating some lifts and tilts using pillows to help them go deeper.

Or better yet, you can ask the giving partner to opt for penis rings, because these toys can help stimulate the clitoris to make sex more pleasurable for the both of you.

Average (Length and Girth)

If you or your partner has a penis that’s 5.1 and 5.5 inches when fully erect, they’re considered average.

Pro tip: You have nothing to hold back if you belong to this type. You’re free to experiment and enjoy any sex position or toys (like pocket pussies) that catch your interest. 

Short With Thick Girth

This next type in our different kinds and shapes of penis list is thicker but with shorter-than-average length. 

Pro tip: During play, use a generous amount of lube to make things comfortable during penetration. And because leaning on the thicker side can feel more full, it highly increases the pleasure in the vaginal and anal openings.

For the position, the doggy style is best for this type of penis, because it allows deeper penetration.

Longer With Thick Girth

Although society often thinks that having a large penis is better, many women still enjoy an average length and girth, especially during long-term relationships.

Pro tip: If your partner belongs to this group, it’s advised to take extra care when getting some action. Use a lot of lube, and don’t forget to prepare to make sure that it’s going to be a pain-free performance.

Longer With Thin Girth

For penis owners who are longer but thin, you surely won’t have a hard time reaching the P-spot and G-spot. However, a thin girth may leave your partner wanting more contact in their internal walls.

Pro tip: If your partner is thin, you can opt for positions that let you squeeze your legs to add more pressure.

Circumcised

Once that flap of skin covering the penis head is removed surgically, that’s considered circumcision. And it makes no difference nor affects the sexual experience when done properly.

Pro tip: Always have lube nearby to keep things smooth and protected during longer sessions.

Uncircumcised

For men who want to keep their foreskin so it covers the penis’ head, it can also likely create a hiding place for bacteria or any buildup. But it’s not going to be a problem for penis owners who practice good hygiene.

Pro tip: Once uncovered by pulling the skin, the penis can become quite sensitive, so lube is your best friend. Pulling skin can also cause some tightness and discomfort for some penis owners, so as always, communication is key.

Veiny

Some penises have smooth skin, while others show visible veins that create a textured look. These features are totally normal and don't usually affect sex or penetration.

Because the skin is thinner, the veins tend to come out, and this entirely depends on your genetics. So, having pronounced veins doesn’t mean they’re bigger; they just tend to show up more.

Pro tip: The veiny texture of the penis can add some extra feeling inside the vagina, so take advantage of it. But if your partner has a smooth penis, you can always go for textured condoms for an added sensation.

Or, if your partner isn’t around, then this ugly tongue toy is a must-try! It also offers the same textured sensation as a veiny penis to satisfy your cravings any time.

Straight

Penises often come in all shapes, colors, and sizes, and having a straight one is usually thought of as “normal.” But that’s not really true! You can definitely enjoy sex with any shape or size.

Pro tip: If you or your partner has a straight penis, there are no special rules, so you can enjoy what your straight joystick can offer. 

Curved Upward 

Some people's penises can bend or curve a little when soft, and for some, the penis curves when it becomes hard. 

A penis that’s curved upward is considered advantageous, as it can directly hit the frontal wall of the vagina to stimulate the G-spot for vulva owners. For penis owners, upward-curved penises are also beneficial if they want to hit their P-spot during rear entry.

Having a slight curve is normal, but if you're worried about the way your penis curves, let your doctor check to make sure that everything is okay.

Pro tip: To better reach the G- and P-spots, the receiver can sit on top of their partner. And doing the cowgirl position can also help you touch and stimulate these very sensitive areas directly.

Curved Downward

This next type of penis on our list is curving downwards, which points toward the floor.

Pro Tip: If the curve of the penis points away from the G-spot during missionary or face-to-face positions, try to switch things up by changing into doggy, reverse cowgirl, or spooning.

C-Shaped

C-shaped penises can clearly curve to the left or right. However, a small curve usually doesn’t cause any problems during sex, but a bigger curve might make things difficult.

Pro tip: If you can direct an upward or downward curved penis toward your partner’s G- or P-spots, you can do the same with a penis that curves to the side.

Try positions where you and your partner lie at angles to each other, like the Spork position, as this position allows different angles of penetration that can suit sideways-curving penises.

Wider Base, Narrow Head

This next penis shape is sometimes called cone-shaped or carrot-shaped, because it has a wide base that gets thinner as it goes toward the tip.

Pro tip: These are like butt plugs, as they have a wide body that narrows to a thin tip to make them easier to insert but still feel full.

For penises with a wide base, using some lubricant can make things more comfortable for the receiving partner.

Narrow Base, Bigger Head

This penis shape is the opposite of a cone; it has a thin shaft that suddenly gets wider at the head, which makes the head look big and noticeable.

Sometimes, people call this a mushroom or hammer shape because the big head sits on a narrow shaft.

Pro tip: It may be harder to start the penetration because of the big head, but once inside, it creates a lot of friction that the receiver can enjoy. 

Lube makes things smoother, and choosing positions where the vagina or anus is more open can help make sex more comfortable and pleasurable.

Some Mythbusting FAQs

Are penile shapes related to sexual performance or fertility?

Penis shape is mostly anatomical and doesn’t impact erectile function, fertility, or overall sexual health.

Is a penis with a large head but a narrow shaft more prone to injury or breakage?

Surprisingly, it doesn’t. Penis tissue flexes and stretches normally, and shape doesn’t determine fragility unless there’s an injury or disease.

Is it true that sex toys are made for the standard shapes only?

Not true, because many toys accommodate many shapes and sizes, while some are even designed for curved or uniquely shaped penises.

Celebrating Penis Diversity

Penises come in all shapes and sizes, like nature’s very own collection of unique sculptures. 

So if you’re ready to embrace your uniqueness, at BeYourLover, your pleasure and confidence always come first.

How Much Sex Do Couples Have in Marriage?

Understanding how often married couples can feel so daunting for us. Like we’re in a maze of different experiences and expectations. Because each partnership is unique. But how often do couples in marriage have sex? 

Here’s a window into the sexual habits of 660 married couples. Based on the General Social Survey’s study. If you’re married, how often do you get intimate? In what group do you think you belong to?

• 25% of married couples are having weekly sex
• 16% of couples get intimate 2 to 3 times a week
• 5% of them have sex 4 or more times weekly 
• 17% are having monthly sex
• 19% of married couples have sex 2 to 3 times a month
• 10% didn’t engage sexually for about a year
• 7% of them had sex once or twice within the previous year

You can see that there’s a variation in sexual frequency. There are plenty of things that can affect your sex life. Often or not, the most important thing is partners feeling connected and satisfied isn’t it? Quality over quantity. 

Up next, what factors can affect frequency of sex in your marriage?

What Affects Sexual Frequency in Married Couples?

Sex in your marriage is connected to different aspects of your life. If you know how to navigate your sexual rhythm, you can enjoy intimacy without judgement or comparison. Let’s take a look at those factors.

Age and Biological Changes

As years go by, your sexual desire is gonna evolve. Aging with hormonal changes, menopause or dropping testosterone levels are just a few that can affect your libido. Slower arousal, less spontaneous desire are normal.

Nope. It doesn’t mean that intimacy in your marriage will also fade. You may just need a different kind of approach to connect sexually.

Overall Health

Your health directly impacts your appetite for sex. Conditions, medications are stuff that make sex quite challenging for you or your spouse. Your mental health and self-image can also affect your willingness to have some sexy time.

But here's the good news dear. A good diet plan. Exercise. Regular check-ups too (for your physical and mental wellness). Those will help you navigate issues. So you can enjoy sex in your marriage.

Stress and Life Demands

Being married ain’t no walk in the park right? Busy schedules, financial concerns and parenting can get in the way of your intimate life as a married couple. 

Because of your fully-booked calendar, your energy becomes a scarce, depleting resource. In Parenting, you’re going to have less privacy, less sleep. Less chance to get sexual with your partner. 

Fatigue can rear its unpleasant head. Making sex feel like another chore. By approaching your sex life with compassion, you can still enjoy intimate moments in your marriage to take that cortisol level down.

Modern life is super stressful. It gets on your nerves. Need a quick stress relief? Toys can help you and your partner out. Where to get ‘em though? Look no further.

Check these out!

Emotional Connection

When you’re in a sexual situation, you’re not hyper-focused on the physical stuff. You’re also emotionally and mentally experiencing it. If you’re feeling desired and cared for, the frequency of your encounters will increase.

The same goes for your partner. You might feel negatively about sex when there are unresolved conflicts, resentment in your marriage. The frequency of sex can drastically drop. Even when you’re doing the act, it’s gonna feel mechanical.

Relationship Duration and Lifestyle

When you’re in the honeymoon phase, you’re going to be more sexually active. The novelty, the excitement of it all, you know. After some time, that novelty may fade. Things become routine-like.

But if you share the same interests with your partner, you can combat the monotony. Hobbies do make you feel closer. As a sweet bonus, your shared experiences can make sex feel super exciting again.

Cultural and Social Influences

Norms you grew up on. Cultural practices and religious beliefs. Those can influence and shape your attitude towards sex. As an individual and as a married couple. Some traditions would encourage you to practice restraint.

Some traditions do want you to be more sexually active. Boils down to you and your partner taking a balanced approach on things. Without compromising your values and your real sexy desires.

How Much Sex is Enough in Your Marriage?

We all have different preferences and personalities. Your libido as a married couple is dependent on the factors mentioned above. No exact number or frequency will dictate if you’re having just enough, less or too much.

Because there are so many things to consider here. The real question is how much sex are you willing to have? Here’s a video from relationship counsellor Laura How where she talks about sex in marriage. 

Expressing the importance of sex as one of your emotional needs. You and your partner must have the enthusiastic kind of generosity to increase and meet your desires as a married couple. Bridging the gap if there’s one. 

Give it a watch!

How to Keep Intimacy Fresh in Your Marriage?

No matter how often you’re having sex in your marriage, you should feel connected. Feel seen and desired. Here are some ways you can revisit that honeymoon phase. Keeping that awesome spark alive.

Communicate Openly and Honesty

A simple, powerful way to keep intimacy alive. Communicating with your partner. Share your desires. your fears and fantasies. Without judgement. Ask about trying new things. 

Even short, honest convos will help you a lot in building emotional closeness. While also reducing misunderstandings in your marriage.

Schedule Quality Time Together

Your busy life can sometimes sideline your sexy moments. Gotta schedule quality time together. Date night! Weekend morning or evening walks too. Make your intention and schedule create space for closeness in your marriage.

Experiment and Be Playful

Try new things! A new position. Or build anticipation by sexting. Make it playful. You can wear costumes. Grab some naughty toys. Playtime is so much fun with toys isn’t it? Don’t sweat the hunt for your sexy playthings.

Get them here!

Prioritize Touch

Create a safe, loving space for sex by holding hands, cuddling or lots and lots of gentle rubs. Touches help you release oxytocin. A hormone that can strengthen your bond. Paving the way for your sexual connection.

Make Room for Emotional Intimacy

Your emotions are involved when you’re having sex. Especially if you’re a married person. Be an active listener. Show appreciation. Support, encourage each other. These will organically trigger your sexual appetite.

It’s important to be seen and heard in your partnership. It’s a give and take type of deal. Not one way. Don’t treat sex like it’s a chore you get over with. When you feel emotionally cared for, your intimate moments are gonna be more fulfilling.

Keep Your Energy, Your Health in Mind

You’re not feeling too sexy when you’re burning out. Dealing with so much in your life. But hold on, just a minute. Don’t forget about these important things. Healthy diet. Exercise. Manage your stress. Get rested as well. 

It’s nice to be in a partnership where health comes first. Go and make an appointment with your doc. To prevent any issues from getting worse. When your health is in top shape, your sexual desire and wellness will naturally follow.

Create Connection Rituals

Your small, warm gestures can ignite intimacy in your marriage. A good morning kiss. Maybe a whispered compliment. Or just sharing a cup of coffee in silence while you’re enjoying the breeze and sunlight. 

No need for grand, cinematic rituals. Those simple moments in your connection can keep the spark alive. And awaken your sexual desires once more. Regardless of your age or length of your relationship. 

Simple interactions can still be sexy don’t you think?

Experience Adventures Together

Undust the hobbies you used to enjoy in the past. Revisit your favorite places. Or you can try doing new things. Don’t let your married life get dull. Can’t afford to let that fire go out. Explore new territories.

By enjoying activities and places with your partner, you’re making your connection extra special. Camping, cooking lessons, a concert of your favorite artist, whatever it is . Let your partner join you. 

These non sexual situations can still trigger your feelings of desire. Leading you to a private spot. A spot where you can get naughty and sweet all over again.

Be Proactive When You Face Challenges

When libido drops in your marriage, take proactive steps. Let’s say you’re facing health issues, marital conflicts. Instead of resorting to negative energy of resentment or defeat, be a team here. Married folks face challenges from time to time. 

Make an appointment with your doc or counselor. Showing care about your connection would mean so much. Giving up without even trying to solve challenges together could hurt the partnership you’ve built.

Celebrate Each Other

You’re used to subtle ways of showing care. But doing it more openly, boldly once in a while would be nice as well! Express your gratitude, appreciation. Acknowledge what you love about each other. 

Reignite that fire (the good kind of fire) in your evolving marriage. Show your love with sincere words. Supported by actions. A lovely meal while you’re on a date? Nice. A gift and a handwritten letter? Awesome too! 

That’s what your partnership is all about. Making each other feel seen, heard, appreciated, celebrated. Both of you matter here. Oh hey! Speaking of gifts. Gifts that you and your partner can enjoy. 

During your private, lovey-dovey time, sex toys are gonna add loads and loads of fun!

Here's an erotic treasure trove!

Affectionate acts will get your sex hormones going. Leading you both to your love nest. Don’t hold back. Let that positive energy rule. So you can both have a very passionate time with your spouse.

Closing Thoughts

Each couple you meet can have a unique intimate journey. You’re probably having less or more sex compared to another marriage. But don’t let statistics or comparison put pressure on your relationship. 

Sure, some patterns are gonna show up as you age. Or as your circumstances change. To have a great sexual connection with your spouse, keep mutual understanding, respect and effort in mind. 

Embrace communication so your intimate moments would make you both feel fulfilled. Not just physically. But emotionally as well. You can still feel like you’ve just tied the knot. Even if you've been married for a while. 

Ignite that passionate flame in your marriage as if you’re on a honeymoon once again. Regardless of the frequency. Again, focus on quality. Not so much on the numbers.

Special Thanks To:

Laura How - Relationship Coach/Counsellor

Prestige Men’s Medical Center

What is Outercourse?

When you think about sex, your mind would usually jump straight into sexual intercourse or penetration. But intimacy, especially in a sexual context is more nuanced. It’s more broad than what you expect. That’s when outercourse can take the stage.

Outercourse is an umbrella term for sexual activities you can do with a partner without penetration. A few examples of it are grinding/dry-humping, kissing, caressing, mutual masturbation and oral sex.

Outercourse is something you can try to explore erogenous zones with a partner. You can’t really consider it a lesser form of sex. It’s a different way for you to experience intimacy that does not involve penetration.

And if you try outercourse, you might even find that it’s just as satisfying and meaningful as penetrative sex. Here’s a video of Dr. Laura Meihofer and Dr. Celeste Compton where they talk about outercourse.

A video that covers different benefits while also giving you tips. So you can communicate your needs and enjoy your experience with outercourse.

Is Outercourse the Same as Abstinence?

Not really. To some folks, outercourse and abstinence might overlap. Because of one key thing. The lack of penetration. But there’s a huge difference. Outercourse is something you do as an alternate form of sexual expression.

Abstinence is when you avoid any kind of sexual contact. The only similarity you’ll find between the two is the lack of vaginal/anal penetration. Which helps you reduce the risk of STIs or pregnancy.

Outercourse still allows you to engage in other sexual activities without penetrative sex. Abstinence on the other hand, is when you withdraw from any kind of sexual activity.

Outercourse Benefits

Safer Sex Option

Outercourse excludes insertion or penetration. So it allows you to safely explore sex with a partner.  Reducing the risk of sexually transmitted infections or unplanned pregnancies Outercourse is a safe sexual alternative for you. Pleasure and protection rolled into one.

Pressure-free Intimacy

The expectation of going all the way (with penetration) can sometimes be overwhelming isn’t it? Outercourse lets you slow down and explore at a pace that you and your partner are comfortable with. More focus on pleasure rather than performance.

Accessibility

Worried about physical limitations, medical conditions? Or you’re just not a fan of penetration. Outercourse will open up ways for you to have a fullfilling intimate life despite challenges. It invites and welcomes you to enjoy sex without conforming to penetration.

Deeper Connection

Because you don’t look at penetration as a goal, outercourse allows you to be more creative. It’s a great chance to communicate. And pay attention to you and your partner’s body language and responses.

Emotional and Psychological Impact of Outercourse

Sex does not limit you to just rubbing body parts. Your heart and mind are also active players in your intimate moments. Penetrative or not.

• Affirming- Outercourse is not just about the physical aspect of your sex life. It’s about emotions too. Most would find outercourse very affirming. Because it helps you get the feeling of being cared for and desired without the worry-inducing pressure of penetration.

• Empowering- Outercourse is also something that makes you feel empowered. Set your own pace. While honoring comfort levels and boundaries.

• Bonding- Shared exploration in outercourse helps you strengthen your bond. Build intimacy and trust even without needing penetration. Sex is about connection and not just a checklist of moves right?

If you’re feeling more fulfilled by intercourse despite the benefits of outercourse, it’s your preference. And like anyone else, you’re free to have that. The downside if needs are not communicated properly?

A mismatch of preferences can sometimes happen. Like any sexual practice, if you’re not on the same page, feelings of rejection may arise and spoil the fun. Long-term or casual, you must approach everything with care.

So you can avoid the negative effects of acting mindlessly. Outercourse is a physically different form of sex act than intercourse. But it can still impact you in an emotional and psychological way.

We have different personalities. What’s normal or not a big deal for you might be something else for another person. Being mindful will surely help you even in navigating non-penetrative sexual situations.

Importance of Boundaries and Consent in Outercourse

Even though you see outercourse as a lighter or safer version of sex, consent is still crucial. Because touching, closeness and vulnerability are still parts of it. A deeply personal one. And we all have different comfort levels.

You probably enjoy full nudity, grinding or mutual masturbation but not oral sex. That’s not the case for everyone. So talking openly about what feels good and what doesn’t is very important. Even without penetration.

Check in often with your sex partner during the moment. Respect everyone’s limits. No matter how comfortable you are with someone, boundaries are non-negotiable right? Outercourse is a sex act that still depends on our preference and comfort level.

Talk About Boundaries

Don’t deliver a big speech. No matter what relationship you’re in. Just make it honest, simple and respectful. Express the stuff you enjoy and what you don’t. Remember to invite your partner to express things on their end as well.

Revisit boundaries as things evolve. What feels off for you may feel exciting later. Or vice versa. Check in regularly. Before, during and after intimacy. Remember the you and your sex partner’s yes and no when it comes to outercourse or sex in general.

Outercourse in Different Types of Relationships

How does outercourse play a role in different relationships? Let’s find out.

• In Long-term Relationships - If you’re in a long-term relationship, outercourse can help you and your partner rediscover intimacy. Keeping things fresh. You can maintain your closeness when life stress or health conditions make penetration less frequent.

• In Casual Connections - If you’re in a hookup or casual setting, outercourse can be a comfortable way for you to share intimacy. Without you or your casual partner feeling things are too much, too soon for penetration.

• In Polyamorous Relationships - Outercourse can help you too in poly relationship dynamics. It lets you bond differently with each partner. While also respecting different boundaries and desires within your sexual circle.

• In Same-Sex Relationships - Outercourse is a natural part of same-sex intimacy. If you’re a queer couple, oral sex, frotting, tribbing and body play can be your main ways of being sexual without needing penetration.

Combining Outercourse with Other Sexual Practices

Outercourse doesn’t have to be a stand-alone sexual experience. You’re free to combine it with other forms of sexual expression as well. Let’s say you have a kink like bondage or roleplaying. But you’re not a big fan of penetration.

That’s when outercourse can enter the picture. It’s also perfect for your erotic massage sessions. How about sex toys? You can pick a toy that doesn't require insertion. A toy more focused on external stimulation.

BeYourLover Heart is perfect for that!

If penetration is still a part of your intimate menu, you’re free to combine outercourse with it. You can do it before or after penetrative sex. That’s really beautiful. Open to different sexual expressions.

Enhancing Safety and Comfort

Here are some tips in ensuring your safety and comfort when it comes to outercourse.

Talk before you start touching

A simple conversation will help you a lot. Communicate the things you want to do. And what things are off-limits. The same goes for your partner. It helps you set the tone for an enjoyable experience.

Set the mood

Comfort is not limited to how your body feels. Your environment matters too. Make your space a cozy spot. Dim those lights, play soft background music and grab a warm blanket. For an additional layer of comfort and intimacy.

Keep things clean

Yes, outercourse is a safer way for you to sexually engage. But you know, it’s still a good idea to keep things extra safe. By showering, washing your hands and using condoms. Keep your sex toys sanitized too.

Speaking of toys, pick ones that are made of quality, skin-friendly material. Don’t sweat looking for a great toy that will aid you during outercourse. It's discreet and easy to clean too.

Come and meet Earpod Alggie!

Use some lube

Grinding or rubbing can sometimes give you or your partner irritation. It’s even more troublesome if you have sensitive skin. Apply some quality, water-based lube. Even without penetration, don’t let your fun go sideways.

Avoid excessive friction. Go gentle. If something requires you to have tighter grip or do faster rubbing, don't overdo it please.

Go slow, check in, respect boundaries

Not every position or touch will make you or your sex partner comfortable right away. Adjust pace, pressure or rhythm that feels natural and comfortable for both of you. You should check in often.

Ask your partner if something feels really good. Or if they want you to keep going. Stay present. Reassure. If things start to feel kind of uncomfortable, stop. Please honor that moment. So you can build trust in outercourse.

Assuming that your partner will just roll with everything all the time could get you in trouble. Always think about boundaries and consent. Make the experience safe and pleasurable. Long-term or casual, communication is going to be your helpful guide in exploring sexuality.

Maximize Pleasure

You can look at outercourse as a stand-alone experience. But you can also add other sexy elements to it. Some variety will help you here. Focus on erogenous zones that your partner wants you to stimulate.

Experiment with different kinds of touch. Light strokes or firmer pressure. Pay attention to responses and share what feels good for you. Say things like “that feels good” or “keep going”. When there’s discomfort, respectfully express or respond to it.

Toys will help you a lot as well. Yes, you can still orgasm even externally. Without intercourse. But just like your body, your mind should also be in the right place for you to climax.

Get your naughty outercourse helpers here!

Have aftercare

You can try cuddling, talking or just lying together after reaching climax. Checking in reinforces closeness and safety in your sexual experience. A warm way of showing appreciation to the humanity of the person/people you’re with.

A Closing Thought

Outercourse reminds us that sex is not just a single act. Sex can give us a spectrum of ways to give and receive pleasure. So we can feel connected and intimate. Embracing it will open a creative and more inclusive understanding of what intimacy is.

This might be your first rodeo in outercourse. Or you’re using it in solidifying your long-term connection with someone. In your sexual journey, keep these very important things in mind. Communication, consent and the joy of discovery.

Because they matter. A lot. Have fun!

Fortunately, masturbation is now seen for what it really is: a healthy, perfectly normal way to relieve stress and satisfy or release sexual urges and cravings.

Many men (and people with penises) might think that masturbation is simpler for them than it is for people with vulvas. You just stroke it, right? How complicated can it be?

However, like any sexual act that might seem uncomplicated at first, the more you research masturbation, the more techniques you’ll find, and the better it’ll feel.

Before we get into some of the best techniques that sex therapists, experts, and ordinary people have discovered, let’s get one very important point out of the way:

What’s wrong with just keeping my same, tried-and-true technique?

You probably have a favorite way to masturbate, one that you discovered over many years of experimentation. You might think that it’s the best technique for you because it hits all your preferences.

But, have you ever found that you’ve had to change your technique, by adding more pressure or stronger strokes, or by increasing the amount of times you masturbate in a day?

Sex educator and intimacy coach Kiana Reeves can tell you why.

“If you masturbate the same way each time, your body (and mind) can get used to the rhythms and anticipate what comes next, making that final climax a little less–well, climatic.”

So changing things up is okay, and even necessary to keep things fresh and surprise your body and mind.

Here are some great techniques to try:

1. “Foreplay” For Yourself

We know what you’re thinking. Foreplay is just for sex, right? It’s about setting the mood and warming things up.

But the same applies to masturbation. Men tend to be practical when it comes to masturbation, getting it out of the way quickly, often on the toilet or just on the bed. No fanfare, nothing special, no complications.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Like any erotic act, masturbation feels better if you set the mood, preparing your body and mind slowly.

So play some of your favorite music. Don’t masturbate on the toilet, which is hard, uncomfortable, and in the middle of a setting that’s cold and that your mind associates with getting rid of waste. Get comfortable on your bed. Dim the lights. Use pillows to find a good position. You can light a candle, it’s not forbidden or feminine.

You’ll find that doing this ups the pleasure, and you’ll even associate masturbation with sex if you employ similar foreplay.

2.  “Chalking” the Cue

If you’ve played pool, you’ve probably chalked a cue before.

Here, you’ll want to hold your penis in a medium strength grip, strong enough so it stays in place, and move your other hand on top of the head in a circular motion. You want to rub the head gently.

We recommend using water-based lube, but don’t overdo it. You don’t want to accidentally get any lotion that might have an alcohol base or scents into the opening of your urethra.

This technique is best used in combination with another, as the head of the penis is incredibly sensitive. It is, however, a great way to climax quickly, as most of the nerves of the penis are concentrated there.

Don’t apply too much pressure, and be sure to apply some moisturizer to your palms in the days leading up to trying this technique, as dry skin might have sharp calluses that could chafe or even cut the skin of your penis.

3. Upward Stroke

Most people with penises employ an up-and-down stroking technique, but what if we told you that upward half of that technique feels better?

Remember, most of the nerves of your penis are concentrated in the upper end of your shaft, around the head and on the tip itself.

For this technique, use plenty of lube (as you will be stroking in only one direction). You’ll hold your penis upright with your nondominant hand and, with the dominant one, you’ll stroke upwards.

Once you stroke up, don’t stroke down to reset your hand position. Instead, let go of your penis entirely, then reposition your dominant hand where you started and stroke upward again.

This will avoid losing the upward intensity and make things much more enjoyable.

Remember to be gentle. With normal stroking, the motion is repetitive but split into two parts. With the upward stroke, you’ll be increasing the same motion in the same direction in the same location, which could lead to friction-induced chafing, or other tissue damage if you do it too hard.

4. Edging and JOI

“Edging” is a pretty common term on the internet these days, so chances are you’ve heard it in a meme or in the comments of a post or video.

But what is it exactly?

Simply put, “edging” is the practice of pausing and elongating sexual stimulation, like stroking or thrusting in penetrative sex, so that the stimulation is spread out. As you’ve probably noticed, the more stimulation you provide, the quicker you orgasm.

Edging is a technique that aims to delay orgasms as, for people with penises, orgasms usually mean the end of a particular sexual activity (at least for a while).

To “edge” effectively, you need to time your strokes. Only you know your body, and you know when you’ll start to feel the stimulation reaching a climax that’ll soon mean an orgasm and ejaculation.

So take it slow, “ration” out each stroke to ensure steady, but intermittent stimulation. If you’ve never seen a “JOI” (jerk off instruction) video, there are many that use timers, red and green “stoplights,” or other means to help you take things slow and steady.

5. Massage Your Testicles, Tease Your Nipples

People seem to equate penises with simple pleasure, and focus all their efforts accordingly.

But everyone has multiple erogenous zones. Everyone’s nipples are sensitive, for example, and have powerful nerves that can be stimulated to create powerful sexual pleasure.

The same can be said about the scrotum itself. Covered in sensitive skin and close to the penis, massaging this skin gently can create pleasure.

The important thing to remember with testicle or scrotum massaging is to be very gentle. Don’t squish, push, or twist. Focus on the skin, almost as if petting and dragging it. You can also focus on the areas closest to the base of the penis, as these will stimulate the penis gently and in a way you might’ve never felt before.

Play with your nipples too. Use one or two fingers and massage one of your nipples slowly. You can pull on it a little, flick it, and push it deeper in a gentle way. Touching your nipple in any of these ways with your nondominant hand, while stroking your penis with your dominant hand, is a great way to add a new dash of pleasure into your usual masturbation routine.

6. Clay

For this technique, place both of your hands around your penis, open, with the palms flat against your erect shaft. Now, start gently rubbing your hands together, rubbing and rolling your penis around in them.

Think of a sculptor molding a piece of clay by rolling it between their hands. The trick here? Remember to use a lot of lube to make things smooth!

Also, don’t try to rotate your penis the whole way, as that could cause a tear or injury. Instead, gently roll it one way, then the other, but never a full 360°.

7. Temperature Play

Most people never experiment with temperature play, either during sex or during masturbation. That’s a shame, because some (safe) temperature play could be exactly what’s missing from your stimulation sessions!

For this, masturbate as you usually would, but grab a few ice cubes from your fridge and heat a bowl of water up and stop when you see a beat of steam.

Now, dip a hand towel into the bowl and wrap the ice cube in a tissue.

Before masturbating, make sure the towel isn’t too hot by touching it with one finger. Remember that the skin of your penis is much more sensitive than the one on your finger.

Start masturbating. When things get intense, reach for the warm hand towel and wrap it around your penis. The warmth will bring a completely new sensation for you!

Now, keep masturbating. Reach for the ice cube wrapped in tissue paper, and touch it to the skin of your shaft or to the head of your penis. This is a great way to edge, as the cold will make things numb, which means you can keep stroking and you’ll delay the orgasm.

8. Pillow Humping and Grinding

Who says you can thrust or grind when you’re masturbating?

For this technique, you’re gonna need a few pillows, preferably with a bit of firmness. Prop them up on your bed, then lie on top of them while erect.

Now, start thrusting into the pillows. Remember to take your time and savor it, don’t just thrust nonstop, let the fabric and foam drag over the sensitive skin of your shaft. This is called pillow humping, and it’s a popular way to incorporate the thrill of penetration into masturbation.

But don’t just thrust. Grind your penis into the pillows by moving your hips in a circular motion. Grinding, also known as dry humping, can be done with or without clothing, and it can also be done with a partner!

9. The “Money” Gesture

Have you ever rubbed your thumb, index, and middle fingers together as if to signify “money?”

Instead of gripping your shaft and stroking up and down, simply place your index and middle fingers on the backside of your erect penis, and your thumb on the side facing you.

Now, move your fingers in a circular motion, gently rubbing circles into the skin of your shaft. The idea here is to massage the sensitive skin, stimulating the delicate nerves there with very little force. Trust us, you’ll feel like a million bucks.

10. The BJ

No, we’re not talking about giving yourself a blowjob. Instead, put a lot of lube on your hand. Make a tight circle with one hand, and put it around the upper half of your penis. Now move your hand up and down in rolling motions.

Think of the bottom of the circle in your hand as the “lips” of someone giving you a blowjob. Roll that circle around, imagining that it’s your ideal partner’s lips. By cupping your hand close, or cupping your two hands together and leaving only the bottom opening, you can even create a light suction feeling. But to do this, you have to make sure to leave an open space between your closed hands.

Now let’s get into something fun that many men and people with penises don’t consider: sex toys! When most people think of sex toys, they think of dildos or vibrators, but the truth is that there’s a wide world of sex toys specifically for pleasing and teasing the penis.

Let’s take a look at how they can help you level up your masturbation game.

11. Male Masturbators

Like their name suggests, male masturbators are toys that are specifically designed to masturbate their users.

If you’ve ever wanted a handjob machine, something that can please you on its own, without you having to use your hand, a male masturbator is what you were looking for.

While there are many male masturbators out there, we want to recommend on that really stands out from the rest.

●    Skull Man

Skull Man is bold, fun, and embodies punk rock energy. It’s a great way to enter the world of male masturbators in style, giving you three sex toy features in one.

With 5 thrusting modes, 10 vibration modes, and lifelike heating, Skull Man’s textured inner sleeve will take your masturbation game to the stratosphere.

Find Skull Man here!

12.  Cock Rings

Cock rings are sex toys that, like the name implies, fit around your penis like a ring. If you’re into edging, cock rings actually help with edging by restricting the blood flow into your shaft and allowing your erection to last longer. We recommend:

●    Usagi

Usagi is a powerful, versatile cock ring that’s perfect for both beginners and cock ring experts. With an adjustable size, a convenient remote control, 9 vibration modes, and endless combination of uses, Usagi will keep you begging for more.

You can use it during penetration and its ears will tease your lover’s clit. You can use it to stimulate your nipples or your partners, and other erogenous zones. You can also wear it with the ears facing down and inward, giving you a titillating scrotum massage while you masturbate!

You can find Usagi here!

13. Flesh Lights

Flesh lights are toys meant to replicate both the outer and inner anatomy of a vagina, and capture the experience of thrusting into a vagina during penetrative sex.

We recommend:

●    PULSE

Pulse is a top of the line flesh light. With one glance, you can see it stands out with its realism and premium design. With body-safe silicone both inside and out, Pulse provides a lifelike thrusting experience by copying real human skin. With 10 vibrating modes and 8 thrusting modes, it has more than enough combinations to keep surprising you even months later.

And that’s not all, Pulse really ups the game with its innovative video sync feature. Through the BeYourLover App, Pulse syncs its thrusting and vibration to the action in a video. So get ready to experience your favorite clips like you’ve never imagined before!

Find Pulse here!

14. Try Anal Stimulation

If you’ve never tried anal before, you might be a little hesitant. You might think that anal is only for women or for homosexual men, but the truth is that anyone can experience anal stimulation. In people with penises, anal stimulation is incredibly pleasurable, and it has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

15. Mix and Match!

Remember what intimacy coach Kiana Reeves said. When it comes to masturbation, you can’t just rely on what’s worked before. Your body and your mind can grow accustomed to what you’ve tried too many times.

So mix and match the techniques on this list! Use sex toys, stimulate your nipples, try different positions.

Conclusion

Masturbation doesn’t have to be static, it can be as dynamic as your sexual fantasies! Remember to expand your horizons and stay safe by not pushing things too far, too fast.

Why Adding Spice in Your Sex Life is Important?

Yes. Comfort or predictability usually have their proper place, sure. But what if intimacy starts to feel monotonous for you and your partner? Your private moments could start to feel kind of stale huh. 

Well, it’s not that there’s something broken in your connection. Adding spice is about both of you nurturing your relationship. Adding more excitement into it you know? Try opening yourselves up to exploration. 

In the middle of things, you can discover more magical, pleasurable things about sex. Why is it important? Because it breaks the feelings of monotony and keeps things fresh, exciting. Go ahead and bond in a fun, super erotic way. 

Don’t hold yourselves back okay? Let your outrageous and kinky fantasies come to life. As long as you keep respect, safety, consent in mind, you’re going to be grand. Don’t look at sex as a chore. Spice it up to bring out that sexy, free spirit in you. 

Turn the autopilot mode off so you can turn each other on. Have loads and loads of fun! Before we proceed to the list, here’s a LaurenConsul video that gives you 3 simple tips/tools!

Here are 10 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

Heat Things Up with Sexting

Even before you get physical, you can already make things extra spicy. How? By doing some sexting. If you’re sending flirtatious, very irresistible messages to your partner, you’re doing some erotic buildup.

Think of that element of anticipation. It makes you hot right? Your erotic fantasy is going strong. You’re there imagining what your partner is wearing. Or if they’re wearing anything at all. Sounds sexty and exciting!

Sexting. An underrated weapon to spice your sex life up. So don’t try to skip this one if you want to have a fun, intimate time with that very special sexy person in your mind. Add a twist of sexy humor to keep the energy lighthearted. That would be dope!

Try Role Playing

You’re thinking of a way to seduce your partner all over. As if you just started hanging out and that ooh, sexual tension building up. Let’s say you’re in an alternate universe. Where you can explore brand new dynamics.

Think of yourselves as strangers meeting at a cost bar. Or maybe you can try being in a boss and employee dynamic. There are tons more types of settings and roles you can try. Spicy settings to make it more intense.

Come on, don’t panic if you feel silly at first. That would make your role playing adventure more interesting. Laughter can strengthen your connection too! So get those costumes ready to make it more believable. 

Some commitment into the roles you're playing? Fun and hot, hot, hot! Play different roles and open up doors to fantasies you didn't even know were there. An absolutely great way to get to know each other all over again.

Watch Porno Together

You’ve probably used porn as reference for sexual stuff before. Not always a reflection of reality. But a great way to bring your fantasies to life. Just don’t get addicted to watching it alright? Now, how about watching some porn with your partner to spice things up?

The healthy starting point for both of you would be to pick a porn flick that you both like. You’re a fan of a certain star? Do you like the production of this or that studio? This is not about comparison and feeling bummed out.

This is about getting inspiration, ideas from what you’re watching. Like hey that’s a nice position to try. That moaning turns us on. Spice things up without confusing your partner with someone else. 

With internet access, you’ll find countless spicy porno flicks out there. Vanilla or hardcore porn, it boils down to both of your preferences and comfort. Get the remote, turn that TV on to turn each other on!

Use Sex Toys

Keep that intimate spark alive with the help of sex toys. They’re not only pleasure providers during your solo play. Make naughty toys your indispensable helpers when it comes to your fun-filled, intimate moments. 

Come and deepen your connection’s intimacy by adding a playful, spicy twist. Nope. Toys aren’t there for comparison or substitution. But additional tools. Using them gives you and your partner more pleasure and freedom to have a swell time. 

Introduce unbelievable sensations and learn more about each other’s bodies. Tickle those pleasure spots conveniently. Toys are fun items that can make your intimate moments even more satisfying. 

You might be wondering where to get those magical, pleasure-giving playthings. Look no further…

Here’s a Wide Selection of Them for You!

Try a Threesome (If It Feels Right)

This may not be everyone’s cup of spiced-up tea. But if you and your partner are among the curious souls. Who are emotionally secure and more than ready to explore, a threesome would be an extra spicy choice for your sex life.

You’re about to contact another person to take part in your private playtime. But before you introduce a third person in your sex arena, see to it that everyone is on the same page. Talk about safety, consent, respect.

Informing the third person will help everyone involved feel at ease. Talk about boundaries and stuff. So all of you can have a spicy kind of sexual encounter without crossing any kind of line. If all parties are enthusiastic and secure. 

Then you can have mind-blowing fun with a threesome.

Yummier Sex with Food Play

Up next, food play. Who doesn’t love delicious food right? And incorporating food items would definitely make your sex life tastier. Bring out the syrup. With some whipped cream, and strawberries. Ice cubes maybe. Might make things messy? 

Sure. But absolutely delicious and so much fun! Try recreating a food show. But of course, in a more adult-oriented context or setting. Feel the texture and enjoy the taste of the super awesome dessert in front of you. Your partner.

If you’re having second thoughts about creating a mess, make towels handy. So you can avoid anything sticky food stuff down there alright? Use food to tease each other. Stimulate your senses for something appetizing and erotic. Yummy sex indeed!

Bondage

So you want to up the intensity level of your intimate playtime. Here’s a spicy thing to try. Bondage or BDSM. Whether you’re a dominant or a submissive, trying this out will help you build trust and deepen vulnerability with your lovely partner.

With Bondage, partnering control with surrender will give you space for anticipation and pleasure. With safe words, limits, and…sexy BDSM items, you’re on the right track to spicing things up in the bedroom.

Whether you’re a veteran dom or sub or a first-timer, having a nice and dependable bondage kit is always a plus. Restraints and blindfolds will help you raise that spice meter you’ve got. Where to find a good set though?

Get Your Spicy BDSM Toys Here!

Make Your Own Sex Tape

Not a big fan of watching other people go at it? Well, here’s a more personalized alternative. Star in your own porn flick by making a sex tape. Capture your chemistry and fire with a sex video. 

Don’t worry about looking perfect. Just have spicy and sexy fun with each other on camera. You’re the stars here. Celebrate your bond with a sex tape! But wait. Hold your horses. Before you press the record button, consider some things first.

Please remember that trust plays a big role here. Use a secure device in filming. Especially nowadays, your privacy concerns are legit. If you’re planning to keep it as a souvenir or watch it a few times before deletion, don’t start filming without enthusiastic consent.

Try New Positions

Refresh your routine. Missionary, spooning or doggy. You can’t go wrong with those classic sex positions. But let’s shift things a little. A few angle adjustments here and there and voila! A fresh way to enjoy sex!

Just like cooking with spice, adding a dash of it will surely bring amazing sensations. Sensations that will deepen your intimate connection. With a few lighthearted, sexy giggles in between. No need to twist yourselves into a pretzel.

Try doing some angle adjustments. Find a rhythm that feels really good for both of you. You can use a pillow to support you or your partner’s weight. Don’t forget about fun toys. Open new doors of pleasure. 

Make your sexperience awesome and…ooh spicy!

Erotic Massage

On this one, you can slow it all the way down. Without losing the spice of course. If you’re trying to dial back the intensity, an erotic massage would be your excellent choice. While keeping that spark alive.

A massage is underrated yet a satisfying way to spice up your sex life. It’s not just about you getting to sex. Getting or giving a massage is a way for you to savor the build-up. Those gentle strokes will slowly lead you to a pleasurable place. 

You know, just like taking a slower bus or train. So you can enjoy the view. With oil the candles minus the pressure to rush, you can explore each other’s bodies in a very relaxing way. Let the slow anticipation build. 

Gently touch each other’s pleasure spots. Each tender stroke or rub would be your expression of appreciation. To your bodies and souls. Save the intensity for another time. For now, pick this milder kind of spice.

Making it Red Hot

Make your sex life fun by trying some, or all of these out! Not all at once. That would kinda be convoluted. It’s not about being perfect or losing yourselves completely. Spicing your sex up means exploring new depths of intimacy. 

With someone you care about. Go on. Send a naughty text, have a massage session or make a sex tape. Feed your fantasies. Flirt and laugh while you’re at it. Don’t forget about consent, safety and boundaries okay? 

Level up your intimate playtime. We’re never too old for some naughty, playful stuff. Gentle or rough, it’s all up to you. This is not a suggestion that your sex life is wrong or broken. But adding a nurturing twist to it doesn’t sound too bad at all don’t you think?

Our main goal here is to make your connection stronger and more exciting again and again. Don’t skip your chance to keep that lovely spark alive. Make it red hot. You’ve got this!

A penis massage can deliver a healing experience through the use of hand massaging. Once you’ve mastered the technique, you can give your partner or even yourself some healthy relaxation.

So how about we take a look at this old-age yet overlooked technique? Get ready to find out how penis massage can give your johnson some confidence boosts and vitality.

What’s Penis Massage?

Penis massage is like a set of techniques to help people with penises achieve that therapeutic physical pleasure.

If the process was done properly, it can give not only physical but also psychological and spiritual healing for some folks.

So giving yourself or your partner some massages isn’t only relaxing but can also help improve the circulation to the genital area.

Aside from enhancing blood flow, do you know that giving your manhood some massages can improve sexual performance, according to a sex article on Noah? It’s like a powerhouse of benefits, isn’t it?

It’s Takeaway

For starters, some of you might confuse penis massage with gentle masturbation. But penis massage is often practiced to:

• Bring healing
• Feel pleasure
• Connect more with a partner
• Connect with oneself

Unlike masturbation, where orgasm and ejaculation matter the most, in penis massage, having an erection isn’t even significant.

You can imagine a slow handjob to touch the penis so sensually. It’s sacred. It’s divine.

It’s like taking a person with a penis to a place they’ve never been to before. But with no sense of ownership or egoistical gratification. 

The Cultural Practices

Do you know that the idea of penis massage isn’t even new?

Some techniques even resonate with Chinese reflexology, which has been practiced for so many years. As some parts of the penis (like the tip and underside) are believed to correspond with various energy centers and organs.

The tantric and yogic practices of penis massage are also believed to build connection and energy, whether solo or with a partner.

In Ayurvedic traditions, penis massage often uses herbal oils as part of rejuvenation routines.

But today, in the modern West, penis massage continues to gain attention through bodyworkers and therapists. Often sought by people who want to treat sexual dysfunction or even trauma.

Penis Massage and Its Awesome Benefits

Giving your wood some massages is proven to be beneficial; here are some perks, backed with science:

Better Blood Circulation

As mentioned earlier, penis massage can give blood flow a boost for better sexual performance.

And do you know that 52% of American men, aged between 40 and 70, have erectile dysfunction, as stated by a recent study from NCBI? While at least one-third of these men also experience premature ejaculation.

The numbers can be surprising, so if you or someone you know suffers from ED, why not give penis massage a try? 

Relieves Stress

It’s already given that sex has so many positive effects on the human body. But incorporating penis massage into your sexual routine can boost libido and even lower the risk for chronic illnesses.

Because of the calming effects you can get from massages in general, this can lower stress, so you’ll feel much better and healthier.

Can Strengthen Weak Erections

During penile vibratory stimulation, it makes the penis become more sensitive to touch. You can treat this practice as some sort of “training” for your penis to become stronger and more competent.

But if you find giving penis massages a bit of work, you can always resort to the help of toys. For instance, you can use vibrating thrusters to give your hand a break every once in a while.

Flushes the Toxins Out

Physical massages in general help support lymphatic drainage, so using gentle upward strokes on the penis can help with:

• Managing inflammation
• Reducing fluid retention in the groin
• Improving testicular health when practiced long-term

Strengthens Pelvic Tension

Some men may unintentionally clench their lower abs, thighs, or glutes over time. So, receiving regular massages can help relax these neglected parts:

• Perineum
• Iliopsoas
• Pubococcygeus muscle

Helps With Post-Surgical Nerve Regeneration

The gentle touch the massage can give is also great to regrow nerve pathways.

These results, often coming after medical procedures like prostate treatment or reversal of vasectomy, are also best paired with sensory retraining during massage sessions.

It Rewires the Brain

Once the brain expands because of new sensation focus, it can increase genital sensitivity, and it might even reduce the occurrences of premature ejaculation.

Another thing, when penis massages are used instead of porn-based stimulation, people with penises are often reported to have better erections and sexual satisfaction. Achievable in just two to three weeks of practice!

It Encourages Mindfulness

Penis massages can also help penis owners to feel more body-focused. A great way to reconnect with themselves, it can help them feel less anxious once they start performing.

Penis Massage Techniques to Transform Your Sex Life

To give yourself or someone a penis massage properly, here are the steps to keep things on the safe side and make it effective.

1. Get Comfortable

Before you start, please make sure that everything feels warm and private. It’s also a good setting if the environment is free from distractions.

You can use soft music or dim lighting to make the ambiance more relaxing. A comfortable surface to lie or sit on is also ideal.

2. Use Lubrication

Currently, there are lots of lubricants that you can choose from in the market. So, getting something that uses natural oils can help prevent any irritation while doing its job.

For people with sensitive skin, you can opt for water-based ones to keep the experience more hassle-free.

3. Warm Things Up

To give the body part some warmth, try to apply a warm towel in the area before starting.

Get a warm towel. Next, you can wrap it around the penis to spike blood flow, so the muscles will get in “relaxed and ready” mode.

4. Use Gentle Strokes

By using your index finger and thumb, clasp around the base of the shaft by forming a “ring.”

Next, while you’re keeping your finger’s position, start gliding your fingers up and down. Keep doing this several times to relax the penile muscles, but continue to give light pressure for now.

5. The Milking Technique

Have you ever seen a farmer milking their cows? You can imagine the penis is the thing that you need to “milk.”

Start by gripping the base of the penis, and using a light pressure, slowly slide your hands upward.

Do this repeatedly to boost the circulation and stimulate an erection.

6. Use Circular Motions

Again, your thumb and fingers will do the magic on this one.

Create a ring using both of your fingers to give circular motions around the base by gently "twisting" it. You can also do this on the tip, but please make sure to do this with minimal pressure.

Because this step can make the penis more sensitive by gradually stimulating the nerve endings.

But if you’re interested in getting some love massages while having some action, a cock ring is definitely for you.

It’s hands-free, powerful enough to stimulate the penis base entirely, and so light that you might forget you’re wearing it!

7. Don’t Forget the Surrounding Areas

It’s more pleasurable if you incorporate the perineum and testicles during massages, and by using circular or lateral strokes, you can stimulate these areas for overall relaxation.

8. Prostate Stimulation (Optional)

If you need a much deeper exploration, you might need a prostate massage during your sessions.

It’s an amazing method to give the prostate and internal perineum some love, but please remember to use a lot of lube to keep things comfortable.

9. Be Mindful of the Pressure

Make sure when applying pressure, the intensity is always comfortable and matches the penis owner’s preferences. 

If you’re giving penis massages to a partner, it’s great to always communicate along the way.

10. Give Aftercare

Give light touches and strokes to the area to settle things down. Because giving a penis a cool-down phase can help ward off the after-massage swelling.

Protips to Give a Breathtaking Penis Massage

• Before and after giving massages, wash your hands thoroughly to keep things hygienic. It’s also advised to wash the private parts before starting.
• Please avoid using too much pressure, and stop instantly if there’s any pain or discomfort.
• If you have any existing condition, like ED, it’s better to seek your doctor’s advice before trying penis massage.
• Gently play with it. You can either give your partner or yourself some edging or go for an epic, big finish.
• You can always get the help of toys if your hands start to feel tired. But if a penis massage isn’t enough, why not use a double-ring penis vibrator to continue the action with your partner?

Discover Deeper Connection and Vitality

Why settle for your monotonous routine if you can add something amazing to your relationship?

A penis massage isn’t just a tedious routine that happens in the moment. But please try to see it as a great opportunity to bond, relax, and add more zing to your relationship!

A penis massage not only makes you feel good, but it can also help your well-being keep up in a lot of ways. And who knows? This simple practice might create a new batch of laughter and levels of trust.

Give this awesome massage a try if you want to give yourself the pleasure you deserve, and why not incorporate the best toys from BeYourLover while you’re at it? You can possibly make your sex life so vibrant and connected today!

Special Thanks to:

• Stephen W. Leslie, Writer and Researcher, National Center for Biotechnology Information

• Thushanth Sooriyamoorthy, Writer and Researcher, National Center for Biotechnology Information

• Noah Editorial Team

What is a Queef?

If you’re a vulva owner, you’ve probably heard that sound coming out. Something that sounds like a fart. But hold your assumptions right there. A fart and a queef aren’t the same. So what is it? It’s commonly known as queef.

A queef (or vaginal flatulence) happens when trapped air in your vagina gets released. But unlike the flatulence that comes out of your anus, it doesn’t have a smell. It’s not a product of digestive activity in your gut.

Your or your partner’s vagina is pretty much a canal. And once in a while, whoops! Some air gets in and it needs to find its way out. Some super mild contractions might happen down there. 

Hence that not so musical, yet pretty normal sound.

When Does a Queef Happen?

If you are sexually active, you’ve probably had an encounter with the usually misunderstood queef more than once. If you’re enjoying intimacy that involves vaginal penetration, you or your partner might get some air in there.

And after a few penetrative strokes, that trapped air in your private part would come out. When you’re changing positions during an intimate act, queefing can happen too. Lifting your legs or putting them down, as long as there’s a decent amount of air in the vagina. 

It’s not exclusively a sexual thing. You can also experience queefing while doing some yoga poses or stretches. Even if you’re just sitting or standing, that fart-like sound can come out. It’s your vagina reacting accordingly to trespassing air. 

Imagine it saying, hey air, get outta here!

Is Queefing Normal?

Please don’t panic or feel bad about yourself. Queefing is one hundred percent normal. It’s a harmless thing you know. No need to feel an ounce of shame for that. How about the rumble in your tummy or the cracking sound from your knees? 

Queefing is kind of like that. A normal bodily function right? Imagine your vagina is just sighing or burping when you queef. You did not violate anything or hurt anybody. Your body is just doing very human things.

There’s nothing wrong with you. So don’t let the quirky sound of a queef ruin your sexiness.

Can You Queef on Purpose/Command?

Let's say you're very adventurous and very curious too. You start to wonder if you can queef on purpose. Some people can queef without breaking a sweat. With the right amount of control on your pelvic floor muscles and practice, you can do it too! 

Here’s a fun how-to.

• Get into a position where air can easily enter. Lying on your back while your legs are spread and raised is a common one you can try. You can also go on all fours like some yoga poses.

• Relax your pelvic floor. Try opening up down there. Like you're taking gentle breaths through your vagina. Sounds strange? Maybe. But stay with me okay?

• Suck in some air. Gently move your hips or shift positions to help air go in. You might start to feel it happening in your vagina.

• Tighten your pelvic muscles. Or try shifting your position once again. You’re going to feel a little puff of air come out. There you go, you queefed on purpose!

A little disclaimer though. Everyone’s body is different. So please, please don’t hurt yourself by forcing anything. Anatomy can affect your ability to queef. It’s a quirky trick you can try to pull off. But your safety and comfort will always be more important alright?

By the way, here’s a video of sexologist Dr. Lindsey Doe where she talks about queefing.

Why Does a Queef Happen Sometimes During Sex?

Because sex, especially the penetrative type, involves a lot of in-and-out motion. You can expect some air displacement. Your vagina expands, moves and sometimes, air gets pushed in. And that air gets released later.

Air gets pushed in if you’re into acts that involve a lot of thrusting. When you’re doing the positions like doggy style or legs over the shoulders position, a queef can happen. You can also experience queefing while inserting a toy in your vagina.

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A queef is not a sign that there’s something wrong with you down there. A lot of people experience it and just laugh it off. Not in a demeaning way. But in a fun, lighthearted way. Or some folks…won’t even notice!

Still feeling self-conscious? That’s super normal too. But here’s a cool reminder. If someone makes you feel awkward or weird about a queef, they’re not worth getting intimate with. A good, considerate partner should be able to roll with you over something normal. 

You can both giggle at your queefs and intimately continue to each other’s company. Kind of adorable and endearing right? So come on, make yourself relax and enjoy the erotic sensations instead.

A Few Queef Confidence Tips

• Switch positions slowly. When you’re shifting from one position to another, moving slowly will help you avoid sudden air shifts or discomfort.

• Let your pelvic floor exercise shine! You can try doing Kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic muscles. You’re going to have an easier time letting the air in and out. As a bonus for you, you’ll also have better bladder control and intense orgasms. That’s a win!

• Don’t panic, own it instead. Be playful and relaxed about your queefs. No need to make it an embarrassing moment right? A few giggles and a witty, lighthearted comment will help you move on quickly and just enjoy your intimate moments.

• Make sex and your queefs more lighthearted with toys! There’s a wide selection of them. So you can enhance intimacy and eliminate any trace of awkwardness.

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Should You Worry About Queefing?

If it’s an occasional air release, you’re going to be grand. Nope, you should not worry about it at all. But if you’re experiencing pain, discharge or constant gurgling sounds, maybe that’s the time you’ll need to make an appointment with your healthcare provider.

But most of the time, your quirky vaginal burps aren’t supposed to make you worry or embarrassed. Take those queefs in stride and just have a great time! Remember, a queef is a normal, human thing. 

When there’s no discomfort, then it’s pretty much your vagina’s sigh of relief.

Let Your Lovebox Breathe

Again, don’t beat yourself up for queefing. It is just a quirky yet harmless, normal thing that your body does. It is amazing the way it is alright? That accidental tooting sound from your vagina? It happens once in a while so please don’t fret. 

A queef will never ever negate your body’s strength and adaptability. So you heard that sound while you’re starting to feel so hot. Well, you can just say oops and laugh it off right? Keep the positive vibe going, stay wonderful. Happy queefing!

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