This article is for anyone with a vulva who has ever winced at the touch of their clit after sex, even when the orgasm was incredible. No, you are not crazy, you are not ungrateful, and you are definitely not alone in this.
In fact, according to The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, many women experience hypersensitivity after orgasm. They conducted a study of 174 female university students (around the age of 25), and 96% of them reported clitoral hypersensitivity after orgasm.
So what you’re feeling is normal, and there’s nothing wrong with you.
But I know why you’re here: you want to understand what’s going on. You want to know how to keep the fun going. After all, you don’t want to be the Debbie Downer when your partner is still in the mood.
Why Does This Happen?
It’s a common saying that, compared to those with a penis, those with a vulva are more likely to experience multiple orgasms. While this saying is true, it doesn’t mean that those with a vulva don’t feel pain or sensitivity at all after orgasm.
This phase of pain or sensitivity after orgasm is called the refractory period. Yes, it’s that same refractory period that those with a penis experience after orgasm.
So why does this happen to some women?
First of all, let’s understand that when a person with a vagina orgasms, involuntary contractions in the uterus, anus, vagina, and sometimes even abs and legs, lead to that sweet release. When this happens, expect that aside from a faster heartbeat and flushed skin, your clitoris will swell too.
It’s a mix of our body’s chemical cocktail, where dopamine provides the blissful feeling, oxytocin adds the cuddle vibes, and prolactin becomes the villain that promotes the drop, or this refractory period.
Remember that your clit has thousands of nerve endings, causing your body to react upon orgasm. These nerves can remain sensitive even after climax and may subside after a few minutes or even an hour.
The refractory period experienced by one woman may vary from that of another. It depends on our body’s anatomy, arousal, menstrual phases, stress, and anxiety.
So, What To Do If You Are Too Sensitive to Continue the Fun?
Sex should be fun! But let’s be honest, we don’t want our hypersensitivity to ruin the fun for our partners. However, you also need to be honest with yourself, as there’s no way sex can be fun if you’re the one suffering through pain just to please your partner.
Here’s what you need to do when you’re sensitive after orgasm:
Communicate With Your Partner
There’s nothing wrong with telling your partner, “I need a minute or two,” “Let’s pause,” or “Let’s take a break.” There’s nothing wrong with this. If your partner really cares for you, they will respect you and never force you to do things you’re uncomfortable with.
Do Something Else
To keep the fun going, you can pleasure your partner instead. Give them oral sex, such as a blowjob or licking their vagina. They can focus on stimulating your other erogenous zones or have a cozy cuddle while on break.
Do Some Aftercare
If the session with your partner is done and both of you have orgasmed, it’s time for aftercare. You can use soft fabrics or put a cool compress near your genitals to help calm your nerves down.
Do Kegel Exercises
Kegel exercises can help lessen the hypersensitivity you feel after orgasm. Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which play a key role in how our body reacts sexually.
They improve muscle tone and control, contributing to a more comfortable experience after orgasm.
When Should You Be Worried?
The refractory period is normal, but if it lasts more than a few hours, becomes painful, or starts to interfere with your life, it’s time to visit your gynecologist. Check if you have dysorgasmia—according to Healthline, it’s a condition that describes a painful orgasm.
If it’s not dysorgasmia, it may be due to nerve inflammation or pelvic floor issues.
You Are Not Alone In This
Although it’s true that multiple orgasms are more common in women than men, it doesn’t mean we don’t experience sensitivity after orgasm at all. The following women have experienced this condition, and you are not alone:
“After I orgasm, my whole vulva and vagina get really sensitive. When I'm with my partner, I usually need to take a break, or I’ll try to wait until he finishes first because most of the time, I just can’t keep going right after. Totally normal, by the way.” – Beth
“Yeah, I totally get that. I’m the same way. I usually feel good with just one orgasm, and while I can go again after a little break, most of the time, I really don’t feel the need to.” – Ava
“That sounds so familiar. For me, it’s the same every time. My husband and I usually focus on foreplay at first, and then I’ll orgasm before we even get to penetration. After that first orgasm, my clit is way too sensitive for more stimulation, so we pause and move on. By the time he finishes, that hypersensitivity has usually passed, and I’m able to come again.” – Violet
Final Thoughts
When you experience hypersensitivity after orgasm, remember that there’s nothing wrong with you. Many women have been in this situation, and you are smart for listening to your body.
All you need to do during your next refractory period is take a deep breath. No shame, no weirdness. Tell your partner what’s going on, and they’ll understand and respect your decision to take a break if they care about you.
Remember that sex is more than just the orgasm and clit stimulation. It also involves cuddling, kissing, and pleasuring your partner. That’s why hypersensitivity after orgasm is not a hurdle to awesome sex.
Ready to level up your pleasure? Head over to BeYourLover and find the sex toy that fits you. Because your body deserves the best kind of yes.
Special Thanks To:
- Verywellhealth
- Go Gale
- Beth, Ava, and Violet
