When it comes to queer sex, you probably thought that penetration will always take center stage and be the main event. But there is so much more to sex right? Your intimate space is not a porn set. It’s where you connect with a partner not just on a physical level. But on an emotional, psychological or even spiritual level too. So why does frotting matter? Because queer sex is not a sport that confines intimacy inside a box. It’s about you and your favorite person being present and connecting with each other. Experiencing pleasure in a different way. Let’s explore more reasons why frotting is an important element in queer intimacy.
So What is Frotting?
You're probably familiar with scissoring or tribbing. It's where vulvas rub against each other and create friction. Think of frotting as the counterpart for that for penis owners. Frotting was derived from the French word ‘frotter’ which means ‘to rub’. It’s also known as grinding or dry humping. And to be more straightforward, penis to penis stimulation by rubbing. This one would help you and your partner build closeness and trust during sex.Another cool thing about frotting is you can do it naked or clothed. You just need to get your penises out and start rubbing.
Pop culture, whether intentional or not, warped the concept of what queer sex is supposed to be. But you don’t need to settle for limiting ideas. You can consider frotting as a sex act in itself instead of just foreplay. It’s a non-penetrative act that still enables you to strengthen your bond. Clothed or not and without penetration. For a more in-depth look at what frotting is, you can check out our blog post. Now, let’s learn some of the reasons why it is important in queer sex. And here’s a video where frotting or frottage was briefly and enthusiastically discussed.
Frot Sex: Who Wants It?
Why It Matters
You’ve got a good grip on what frotting is. It’s not just foreplay. You can turn it into the main course, main event in the bedroom. While enjoying your partner’s company in a very intimate way. A great tool to enhance the action. Let’s check out why it matters in your sex life as a penis owner.
It’s Emotionally Intimate
We all know that sex is not limited to being physically close. We are not machines. It’s not just about proximity. But also connecting with someone on an emotional level. You can build that emotional closeness with frotting. The face-to-face, rhythmic and tender setup makes you and your partner enter a very vulnerable space without penetration. It will make the both of you feel seen, heard and fully accepted. With kisses, whispers and passionate breathing, you’re going to experience not just pleasure but emotional closeness as well. It’s like a passionate dance between two gentle souls.
Encourages Mutual Touch and Equality
Think of frotting as another way of making out. Queer couples would describe it as making out not just with lips. But with their whole bodies. With a slightly intentional focus on the friction created by rubbing and throbbing penises. See? Even though fellation and penetrative sex are the usual go to act when it comes to queer sex, frotting can improve the experience.
Your hands and mouths are free to experiment and explore your sensitive parts. Here, no one needs to dominate or submit if both of you prioritize equality. And to have the space for mutual touch. Frotting allows you to get intimate without any trace of hierarchy. You wanted to add some spice to the sugary sweetness of frotting though. Well, adding some toys into the mix is an awesome way to do that. Where to get them?
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Honors Diverse Bodies and Defies Non-Inclusive Norms
Nobody’s perfect and popular media doesn’t really help us feel good about ourselves. The so-called "normal” can trigger our body image issues. Even in queer communities, insecurities still exist. So frotting can be a form of antidote. As it encourages you to accept and celebrate differences in a healthy, pleasurable way. No room for shame here. Disabilities, insecurities and differences should never ever stop us from having fulfilling sex lives.
You and your partner have these unique physical quirks that you can show love to instead of weaponize. Sex is not about checking the boxes of what the media like porn deems standard. Though it’s sometimes a nice reference point. Porno films do not always accurately capture how sex really looks and feels like. And frotting can be your form of defying the norms while being respectful to your own and other people’s bodies.
Helps You Practice Safe Sex
Not everyone in the queer community is comfortable with penetrative sex. To assume that everyone is into that would be a generalization right? We’re here to enjoy intimacy while being respectful and open to other pleasurable acts that don’t involve penetration. If you prefer to feel sexual pleasure through external contact, frotting would be among your best bets in getting aroused or even orgasmic pleasure.
It’s still a matter of preference dear friend. You and your favorite person can look at frotting as the main sexual act if you’re not too enthusiastic about penetration. No need to confine it into a neat box of foreplay. An awesome stand-alone film that doesn’t need a prequel or sequel might have crossed your mind. That’s what frotting is like. A great item to add in your intimate arsenal. Aside from emotional safety. Your health must be prioritized as well. Frotting helps you enjoy sex without compromising comfort and safety.
Valuable and Valid Form of Sex
Again, if you are not a fan of penetration, froting is a great alternative without sacrificing the realness of intimacy. To be able to enjoy sex without shame or any form of discomfort, this one will take care of you. Intimacy is not about competing with your partner. It’s about working as a team to achieve common goals. Connection and feeling pleasure while doing it. Don’t let pop culture tell you what you like. As long as there’s mutual respect and consent, make frotting a special part of your erotic menu. If you look around the web about queer couples’ thoughts on frotting, many of them love it. Some combine it with penetration. While the others are perfectly happy making it the main event. It’s a great way of expressing pride in your own sexuality.
Can Sex Toys Help During Frotting?
No doubt about it. A sex toy can take your intimate moment up a notch. Your best bet for this one would be using a vibrating penis ring (or cock ring). By using a penis ring, you and your partner can experience more pleasure. The vibrations add more external stimulation to your penises. This toy’s grip will help you in sustaining erections. Adding toys into the mix also encourages you to add an element of playfulness during the intimate act of frotting. Cheer each other up while enjoying your bodies’ warmth and motions. Be creative and adventurous. Make frotting extra special by trying out these vibrating penis rings!
Frotting for Freedom
Enjoying the sensations that frotting brought you? Don’t treaty it like a guilty pleasure. It is an intimate, satisfying and very valid form of queer sex. By doing it, you and your sexual partner can experience mutual touch and equality. Frotting also encourages you to be more open-minded and support body positivity. Celebrate your sexuality and uniqueness with each move. As if you’re in a very erotic and emotional dance. Frotting allows you to be free from the confines of the established idea of how sex should be. With mutual respect always on the table, strengthen your bond through frotting. See you next time!
