Vanilla sex is one of the proofs that you don’t need any fancy, wild moves to feel great.

Because sometimes, all you need other than love is comfort and the right touches in the right places.

Who knows—it can turn something from “just normal” into “just wow!”

So if that got you more interested in vanilla sex, then let’s see how something basic can feel so satisfying and full of surprises.

Let’s Have a Look at Vanilla Sex

Most people would agree: sex isn’t always fast, rough, intense, or kinky. As some folks prefer to keep things gentle, slow, comfortable, and relaxing.

This is where vanilla sex comes into the picture. Because when keeping things simple, it’s a vibe.

Vanilla sex can still involve any kind of steamy activity, just like:

• Kissing
• Oral Sex
• Penetration
• Sex between two people
• Using toys

These activities should be done with consent and in a straightforward way to be considered as vanilla sex. And it can also be the best time to hold your partner in a gentle way and look them softly in the eyes.

You can think of the missionary position when we talk about vanilla sex. It also doesn’t need to explore the physical, sexual, and mental limits of both partners, so both can stay in their comfort zones.

It’s a basic way to have sex, but the experience can be different for every person. You can ask 10 different pairs of partners, and they might describe it differently in a way.

Named after one of the most popular ice cream flavors in the world, people can enjoy it universally. However, some people can find the flavor “boring.”

But is vanilla sex truly boring? Well, you better get ready to upgrade your taste, because you’ll find out next how simple flavors can be so tasty.

Top Reasons Why Vanilla Sex Might Be the Hottest Sex

You can treat vanilla sex like a “getting back to the basics” activity. And want to know why its plainness overflows with substance? Because below are the key points that make vanilla sex feel so great.

1. Kisses Feel Good

When kisses are exchanged between partners, it’s always highly personal. 

It can be challenging to give or receive kisses during kinky or rough sex, but it’s something you can do easy-peasy during vanilla sex.

Kissing can also improve sexual activity and give people better orgasms, because, as stated by Shellie Warren of xoNECOLE, kissing releases the feel-good hormones from the brain to make you feel hornier.

2. Hold That Gaze

When both partners exchange or maintain eye contact, it can also make sex super hot.

For some people, staring at each other in the eyes can be uncomfortable—and why?

Because locking eyes with your partner can be one of the highest forms of intimacy, as it pushes you to become more vulnerable.

Sure, it can feel awkward at first, but it can eventually strengthen the emotional connection between you.

3. The Appeal of the Missionary

Okay, people with vulvas, your attention is needed!

Yes, vanilla sex often involves the missionary position.

But do you know that if you prefer doing the missionary, it can highly give you intense orgasms? And according to Tom Hale of IFL Science, this position is perfect because it allows more blood flow in the clitoris.

Yet, if you want something more, you can check out this earpod vibrator that you can play with. It sucks and vibrates, even during range play, to boost your satisfaction—everything in one, single toy!

4. The Build-Up Matters

Sex can start longer before you get into the bedroom, and building some excitement by flirting is a big part of the experience.

During vanilla sex, there’s no rushing. You can light those candles, cuddle, or just spend some naughty time together. 

These simple things can create that vibe that you need to make your intimacy more satisfying.

5. It’s Slow

When going vanilla, it can also help to keep you grounded, so you can enjoy your and your partner’s bodies way better.

The basic, unhurried setup can also help to make you last longer in bed.

Vanilla sex can help you stay present to enhance your focus so you can pay more attention to your partner’s reactions and cues.

6. It Helps You to Open Up

Vanilla sex can make you vulnerable, and vulnerability is quite important to make sex feel good.

And once you start to feel vulnerable, there’s a feeling of surrender.

Surrendering your desires is a grand way to feel good while you build a connection with your partner.

In fact, this feeling of surrender can make sex feel more intense, because you just don’t overthink anymore.

The Common Misconceptions About Vanilla Sex

Probably the main thing that separates vanilla sex from others is that it doesn’t involve any kink or fetishes. 

And because it was described as something plain or conventional, there can be a lot of misconceptions going around about how good vanilla sex can be.

Find out how the stereotypical can be as hot as hell.

It’s Boring

If you’ve ever tried vanilla ice cream, you know it’s classic—and sometimes it can feel a little too simple, right?

So, that’s exactly the reason why you add some toppings to change the usual taste.

Vanilla flavor is great on its own, but it’s so versatile that you can turn it into shakes or even parfaits!

Then, you might want to apply this concept to vanilla sex; it’s delicious on its own, yet so customizable.

It’s Too Innocent

Most people see vanilla sex as too plain and innocent, but how about those folks that don't want to explore intense sex or kinks?

Although some couples engage in BDSM, it’s always treated as a “leveled-up” sex. Because most couples start with the basic methods and styles. So once you get good at it, then that’s the time to move on to the more advanced and kinky stuff.

It Doesn’t Feel Good

Orgasms shouldn’t be the sole focus of sex, because every step should feel good all the way.

Because allegedly, during vanilla sex, most penis owners can have a hard time reaching an orgasm—because it doesn’t live up to the standards of the porn clip they watched last night.

If you’re the type who can’t reach the big O during vanilla sex, while your partner prefers it, there are still other things that you can try to ace your game!

Not Great For Queer People

Because most people associate “deviant” activities with harsh sex (e.g., oral and anal), this misconception was formed.

But vanilla sex is more than that, and queer people can have fun with it just like everyone else.

And not every queer is into kink or fetishes, and some may prefer milder, traditional sex.

How You Can Make Vanilla Sex More Erotic

Now, let’s sprinkle in some new flavors to complement that sweet, creamy cornerstone to make your sex life more delicious.

Use a Vibrator

A vibrator can be an awesome tool to hit those pleasure spots to increase the potential of reaching orgasms.

If you’re a newbie to toys, you can check out this rabbit vibrator—so easy to use with a dual function, and beginner-friendly too!

Enjoy Porn With Your Partner

Porn was invented to arouse the people who watched it and give creative and fresh ideas about different preferences.

If watching porn together is your thing, it can also open some doors to let your partner know about your fantasies.

Add Some Sensory Play

The simplicity of vanilla sex is a great playground to stir up all five senses.

You can always incorporate warm massages, play some sexy music, and even bring cold foods into bed (vanilla ice cream, anyone?).

Sensory play is like dipping your toes into something you haven’t explored before, and it might awaken something in you that’s beyond your comfort zone.

Try Role Play

If you still find vanilla sex too predictable, you can always add role-play into your sessions. 

Especially if the relationship is long-term, each day can feel a bit repetitive. Role-playing can broaden how you see sex once the situation starts to get too comfortable.

Do you mind having sex with a stranger by pretending you just met for the first time? Or a doctor and nurse pair playing naughty during the midnight shift?

Find out where the games will take you!

Are You Ready to Embrace Your Vanilla Side?

Vanilla sex may sound plain, but guess what? The plain, smooth flavor of vanilla is anything but boring!

Because once you keep things real and simple, that’s where the magic begins. 

Just like your vanilla ice cream, it’s classic, comforting, and satisfying, and remember, you’re not boring if you like vanilla sex. 

But if you want to make those moments much sweeter and more genuine, you can always find the best toys for you to help you celebrate your vanilla side genuinely.

After all, who says vanilla can’t be the life of the party?

Now, you’ve heard the term “pleasure dom,” and you’re now wondering: Is it really what it sounds like? Could this be your kind of BDSM? 

If you’re someone who wants to be in control of your partner’s pleasure without inflicting pain or imposing rigid rules and discipline, this lifestyle might be right up your alley.

Also, if you’re a submissive who is not into the extreme side of BDSM but still longs for someone to take control of your pleasure, then a pleasure dom might be exactly what you’re looking for. 

But maybe you’ve only heard the term in passing, and you’re not sure what it actually means. What is a pleasure dom? And how do you become one?

The Different Kinds of Dom

Since you’re here, chances are you already know the ‘dom’ and ‘sub’ terms. But did you know that there are actually different kinds of doms? 

Some sex and BDSM educators, like Evie Lupine, believe that labels like these aren’t something you pick for yourself. They’re more like reputations you earn within the community:  

“Usually, those terms don’t get their own new capital letter label. We don’t yet anyways have people going around, saying ‘I’m a medical dom, I’m a flogger dom…’ I would say in the real-life community, people do get reputations for doing certain things like, ‘Oh yeah, that’s the fire play guy, that’s the wedded messy top’ like people do have things they get a reputation for, but that tends to be a label or a descriptor that the community puts on someone because of that on what they seem doing versus a preemptive label that would be used in something like a dating profile.” - Evie Lupine

That said, she also acknowledges that labels can still be helpful, especially when it comes to compatibility. If someone calls themselves a pleasure dom, it gives the other person a clear idea of what they’re into or what they’re not. 

Here are the other dom types you might come across:

• Sadist: Enjoys inflicting pain on a willing partner (usually a masochist who finds pleasure in receiving pain)

• Daddy Dom: Plays like a parental authority. There’s usually affection involved in their relationship with their sub.

• Rigger: Gets satisfaction from tying up their sub in rope bondage, such as in shibari and kinbaku styles.

• Master: Expects total obedience and often establishes strict to their sub, aka their slave.

• Trainer (Owner): Treats a sub like a pet or trainee, often guiding them through different BDSM practices. 

• Brat Tamer: Loves the challenge of a rebellious sub who pushes boundaries and plays mischievous. 

• Primal Dom: Embraces their instinct and animalistic energy (think growing, wrestling, and biting) 

• Service Dom: Gives commands or tasks that can be sexual (like giving oral) or practical (household chores).

• Soft Dom. Gentle but still in control. This dom uses nurture, encouragement, and emotional connection instead of whips and paddles. 

In this article, we’re focusing on one in particular: the pleasure dom. The others are for another story.

What Is a Pleasure Dom?

A pleasure dom shares the core values of any good Dom: communication, consent, and safety. But their main focus is guiding their partner through intense, controlled pleasure. 

Yes, some elements of traditional BDSM might still be involved: bondage, torture, humiliation, and safe words. But the purpose isn’t to punish but to build anticipation, edge pleasure, and strengthen intimacy. 

Is the Pleasure Dom Lifestyle for You

Pleasure doms aren’t what the mainstream BDSM usually shows us, but they’re still very much part of the community. It still includes dominance, submission, bondage, sensory play, and even sadism and masochism sometimes. 

The key difference? Pleasure is the tool of control, not pain, rules, or humiliation. 

This lifestyle is for you if:

• You’re intrigued by BDSM but don’t love the rougher, pain-forward side of it.

• You want to spice things up with a partner without diving into intense kink scenes.

• You enjoy being (or having) someone in control—especially when it comes to pleasure.

And even if you don’t identify as kinky, exploring this dynamic can bring serious benefits to your relationship. According to Very Well Mind, BDSM can:

• Reduce stress

• Improve communication

• Deepen trust

• Improve mental health

What Are the Challenges of Being a Pleasure Dom

Being a pleasure dom comes with its rewards, but let’s be honest. It can be challenging too. Many of the same issues that other BDSM doms face also apply here. So, if you really want to step into this role, here are some of the roadblocks that you might face:

Making Your Partner Open Up

Not everyone is immediately comfortable expressing their desires—especially if they’re new to BDSM. Some people are naturally shy, while others are people-pleasers who go along with whatever their Dom wants, even if it’s not really what they really want.

As a Pleasure Dom, creating space for your sub to open up is important. The better you understand what feels good for them, the more powerful and pleasurable your control becomes.

Emotional Triggers

This is especially important if you're engaging in casual or one-time BDSM scenes. You might not know your partner very well yet, and certain physical or emotional triggers could show up unexpectedly.

Reading your partner’s body language, facial expressions, and energy shifts is key. Always have a safeword and encourage honest feedback before, during, and after play.

Keeping Things Exciting

Here’s the truth, doing the same technique over and over can turn from exciting to... meh. One of the common pitfalls Pleasure Doms face is running out of fresh ideas.

To keep the heat alive, keep learning. Watch videos, read kinky content, and stay curious about what makes your partner achieve the big O.

Challenging the BDSM Stigma

Let’s face it, people have opinions. And when it comes to kink, some of them are loud, judgmental, and uninformed.

There will always be outsiders who don’t “get it.” But remember, your pleasure, safety, and connection matter more than anyone else’s opinion. What happens between you and your partner is yours, and no one else has the right to define it.

How to Become a Pleasure Dom?

So you’ve decided that this is your vibe. But before you grab your flogger and dim the lights, let’s talk about what it takes to be a Pleasure Dom.

Learn the Basics of BDSM

Since being a Pleasure Dom falls under the larger BDSM umbrella, it’s just reasonable to learn the BDSM basics. Many techniques, tools, and safety principles overlap across all Dom labels.

BDSM is more than just sex, it's a lifestyle. You’ll learn how to establish boundaries, create contracts (yes, really), and communicate. Think of this as learning the rules of the playground before you start swinging from the monkey bars.

Know What Makes a Good Pleasure Dom

Being a dom in general is a responsibility. It’s not just you wielding your power however you like.  Without care and consent, you’re not dominating, you’re harming. So here’s what makes a great pleasure dom:

• Empathy: Tune into your partner’s verbal and non-verbal cues.

• Communication skills: Make it easy for your sub to express boundaries and discomfort.

• Knowledge: The more you know, the more confident and creative you can be. 

• Creativity: Keep things spicy, playful, and unexpected.

• Patience: Some people are still figuring out their bodies. Be the guide, not the judge. 

Learn From the Pros

There are so many ways to level up your Dom game. You can watch videos, read guides, and most importantly, pay attention during your own play sessions. What made your partner moan? What made them hesitate?

Joining BDSM forums or online communities can give you insider tips, inspiration, and real-life advice you won’t find in mainstream media.

Make Your Sub Feel Comfortable

Your sub needs to feel safe, seen, and heard. Encourage open conversations about fantasies, kinks, boundaries, and yes, discomforts.

Never yuck someone’s yum. Being a Pleasure Dom means helping your sub reach orgasmic heights, and that starts with emotional security. 

Get to Know Their Body (Even More Than They Do)

A lot of people don’t fully understand their own bodies or what turns them on. That’s where you come in.

Explore together. Tease. Ask questions. Notice patterns. Your goal is to be so in tune with their pleasure that it feels like you’re reading their mind.

Take the Lead

You’re the Dom, own it. Learn how to use techniques that reward, tease, and build tension. You’ll find specific techniques later.

Prepare the Toys

BDSM without toys? It’s missing a huge part of the fun. Invest in a solid bondage kit, masturbators, or vibrators. Just make sure everything is body-safe, sanitized, and most importantly, approved by your sub. 

Don’t Skip the Aftercare

Yes, being a Pleasure Dom is on the softer side of BDSM. But don’t let that fool you. Pleasure can be intense.

Take it from one Reddit user:

“Pleasure doms have a vendetta against their sub's ability to walk. Or at least mine sure does. Make ya cum so many times you forget your name, your birthday, or your social!

The post I saw the other day said they wield pleasure like a weapon. Impact player have floggers and pleasure doms have orgasms.” - BadFrenchToasts

Like BadFrenchToasts, many subs say they’ve been left in a delicious puddle of overstimulation after play.

If that’s the case, check in. Make sure that they feel grounded, safe, hydrated, and cared for. 

Techniques You Can Try As a Pleasure Dom

As BadFrenchToasts said, pleasure doms wield pleasure like a weapon, and that’s the energy you want to go for. Here’s how to use your power:

Spanking

Whether you’re delivering playful taps or something more intense, spanking can build tension and heighten pleasure. Just remember, it’s all about what feels good (and safe) for your sub. Keep communication open and always check in.

Sensory Stimulation 

Blindfolds. Ice cubes. Soft feathers. Candle wax. A silky scarf over their eyes while you whisper what’s coming next. Or nothing but slow, sensual music in the background as you explore every inch of their skin.

The trick? Engage multiple senses while keeping them guessing. Tease. Deny. Surprise.

Edging

This is the game of "not yet." Bring your partner right to the edge of orgasm, then back off. Do it again and again. Until they’re shaking with anticipation.

When you finally give them release? Fireworks. Every. Single. Time.

Orgasm Torture

This one’s for more advanced players. Too many orgasms, or holding one off for too long, can push your partner to the point where pleasure and pain blur beautifully.

As always, communication and consent are non-negotiable. But if done right, you’ll leave them weak in the knees and maybe even unable to walk.

Want to learn more? Check out this must-watch video from BDSM educator Evie Lupine. She breaks it all down with clarity, safety, and real-world tips.

Become Your Partner's Orgasm God

Being a Pleasure Dom may not be about barking orders or laying down strict rules, but still, you have the power to guide, tease, and give your sub pleasure they will never forget. 

It’s about creating scenarios where your sub is dripping with anticipation, breathless at your touch, and begging for release. This power will make you irresistible, and moreover, will improve your bond and relationship.

Ready to explore more? Visit beyourlover.com and discover tools, tips, and toys that’ll help you wield your power. 

Special thanks to: 

• Very Well Mind
• BadFrenchToasts, Reddit user and pleasure sub
• Evie Lupine, sex educator and BDSM expert. 

Online posts, comments, and questions are all pointing to an undeniable fact: the Cowgirl Position is becoming more popular than ever! And with that increase in popularity, there has also been an increase in women asking questions about special techniques, tips, and tricks to perform it.

In this guide, we’ll go over what the Cowgirl Position is and how you can use it to take control of your partner’s pleasure!

If you’re a woman and you want your boyfriend to go absolutely crazy over you, make sure you read until the end!

What is the “cowgirl position?”

The “Cowgirl Position” is a sexual position in which a male partner lies on their back while their female partner “rides” him from above. To do this, the woman must place one leg on either side of their partner’s waist or upper thighs and lower herself until her partner’s penis penetrates her from below. 

As you may have guessed, the Cowgirl Position gets its name from the fact that, while performing it, the woman looks like she’s riding a horse, bouncing up and down as it gallops.

Many women find “Cowgirl” appealing because it allows them to move however they want, taking control, bouncing up and down, and thrusting wildly like riding a bronco. 

“Regular Cowgirl” vs “Reverse Cowgirl”

When it comes down to performing the Cowgirl Position, there are two general ways it can be done.

The “Regular Cowgirl Position” is when you “ride” your partner from the front, facing his head.

The “Reverse Cowgirl Position” is when you “ride” your partner from the back, while facing his legs.

It’s important to note that, in both styles, you’re being penetrated vaginally, not anally. 

Because the reverse Cowgirl Position is a bit more advanced when it comes to movements and techniques, we recommend starting with the Regular Cowgirl Position first!

Why is the Cowgirl Position so Popular?

The Cowgirl Position is popular for many reasons: it’s relatively easy compared to other sexual positions, it’s incredibly enjoyable for both parties, it’s fun and dynamic, it gives the female partner more control, among other reasons.

Most people stick to a form of the Missionary Position, which means that one partner lays on top of the other. Usually, this is the man, as it’s easier to thrust down than it is up. Because of this, when most people have sex the woman lies down, pinned and unable to move much, while the man lies on top of her and has a wider range of motion and more control over the rhythm, frequency, and strength of the penetration.

The Cowgirl Position flips the script. With it, the woman is in control. She’s in command of the intercourse with her thrusts and motion. It’s the perfect way to break out of a rut in your sex life, by giving up the reins (if you’re the man) and taking charge (if you’re the woman).

Men also rave about the Cowgirl Position, as they don’t have to thrust continuously and get to sit back and experience a wide, new  range of motion and pleasure.

Techniques to Make Your Boyfriend Addicted to You with the Cowgirl Position

Let’s go over some popular techniques that, once employed, will make your boyfriend addicted to you!

• While you’re on top, rock your hips back and forth slowly 
• Move in a circular motion, moving his penis as it’s inside you
• Move your hips up and down for piston-style, straight up and down penetration
• Lean your upper body back like you’re on a swing
• Hold your partner’s hands as you move to increase the intimacy
• Move your butt up and down, jiggling and sitting lightly on his lap to increase the stimulation
• Use your hands to grab at his chest, face, and hair
• Move your hips during Reverse Cowgirl

Let’s go over the tips in more detail so you really become a Cowgirl Expert!

While you’re on top, rock your hips back and forth slowly 

First, start things off by rocking your hips back and forth slowly, starting things off with small movements and then building up to bigger motions.

Because the Cowgirl Position emulates a woman sitting on a horse, you might think that you should actually sit on top of your boyfriend. But don’t actually do this. Sitting on him too hard will most likely cause some discomfort so, while employing the Cowgirl Position, you should keep your hips slightly lifting above him, using your knees on either side of him as support. 

Take your time. Patience is key. Draw movements out to allow his male organ to become accustomed to your vagina, and to tease the delicate skin of his shaft. 

If you want to entice him visually, try touching your own breasts or sexual organ as you move your hips. 

If you find it difficult to keep your hips lifted up while on your knees, try a crouching posture, with your feet flat on the bed and your knees bent up. You may find this more comfortable and may find moving easier. This also puts less strain on your knees. Imagine sitting in a “P.E. style” position by bringing your knees together a bit. This actually exercises and improves your vaginal tightness.

Move in a Circular Motion

After rocking your hips slowly, try moving your hips in a circular motion.

The trick is to grind your hips back and forth in a circular way, but don’t rotate your hips in too wide of an arch! If you do, his sexual organ might become hurt or slip out! So be careful not to make your movements too wild!

Move Your Hips Up and Down for Piston-Style Cowgirl

Once the both of you are aroused, shift into a piston-style Cowgirl Position by moving your hips up and down.

We recommend placing your hands around his waist or rib cage, as this will provide more support as you thrust up and down. 

Don’t slam down on him! Instead, move up and down slowly, observing his reactions, and looking for the point where you’re up so high that his sexual organ almost slips out, but don’t let it! Also, instead of bouncing your entire body, imagine only your hips moving up and down. 

Free style a bit, try opening and closing your legs and watch his reactions. Experiment with different movements, at different speeds!

An M-shaped, open-leg position is recommended because it hits deeper and feels better!

Lean Your Upper Body Back While Moving

When you lean back as your thrust, your partner will be able to see more of your body, increasing intimacy and excitement. 

Place your hands around his thighs to stabilize yourself as you move. 

Try to snap your hips up as if you’re giving your butt a little lift. 

Don’t lean too far back or move too high up! You don’t want his male organ to get hurt or slip out, so keep movements small and safe. 

Hold Hands As You Move

Doing the cowgirl position while holding hands shows your affection for him, which is highly recommended.

Holding hands with your partner is great, isn’t it? It’s a great way to show affection and increase intimacy. Now imagine holding hands while doing the Cowgirl Position!

When you’re trying out new sexual positions, like Cowgirl, you might overthink things, focusing only on the new movements and positions, but don’t forget to show affection! 

Take the lead, move your hips vigorously, and hold his hands as you put yourself in the center of your passion, and he will fall head over heels for you.

Go Close-Contact and Move Your Butt Up and Down

Employing a close-contact approach to the Cowgirl Position means you can still enjoy skin-on-skin contact with your partner, even while not fully sitting on him.

Stay connected at the midsection with penetration, and focus on moving only your butt up and down. Bring your butt down on his upper thighs and near his scrotum. If you can, employ affection and stimulation techniques like kissing his hands, playing with his nipples, caressing, etc. 

With increased skin contact, you’ll be much more intimate and attuned to things like body heat, heart rate, and experience heightened pleasure and connection!

Reaching an orgasm while in a close-contact Cowgirl Position feels like melting into each other. Don’t just take our word for it, try it out for yourself!

Use a Reverse Cowgirl Position and Move Your Hips

Once you’re used to the cowgirl position, it’s recommended to try reverse cowgirl, where you face away from him.

Once you’re used to employing the Cowgirl Position, you can then move onto Reverse Cowgirl. 

Remember, here you’ll be facing your partner’s feet, with your back to him. By changing the angle of the insertion, the areas stimulated will be slightly different, giving you new sensations! 

Because this position is similar to the Doggy Style position, many people who enjoy that position will get a big kick out of it! 

Summary

In this article, we went over a few techniques to make your boyfriend addicted to you while trying out  the Cowgirl Position.

• While you’re on top, rock your hips back and forth slowly 
• Move in a circular motion, moving his penis as it’s inside you
• Move your hips up and down for piston-style, straight up and down penetration
• Lean your upper body back like you’re on a swing
• Hold your partner’s hands as you move to increase the intimacy
• Move your butt up and down, jiggling and sitting lightly on his lap to increase the stimulation
• Use your hands to grab at his chest, face, and hair
• Move your hips during Reverse Cowgirl

If you’re a woman who usually takes a passive role but wants to “surprise him for a change” or feels that “things have become a bit routine,” try surprising him with the Cowgirl Position!

The Cowgirl Position doesn’t just revitalize your sex life together, but it also puts the woman in control, allowing you to find your own pleasure points and improve your confidence!

By all means, use this article as a reference and spend an incredible night together.

At BeYourLover, we offer a wide range of products to support a couple’s sex life. Explore them on our website!

Frequently Asked Questions:

Q: Are there any benefits unique to the Cowgirl Position?

A: Yes! Many! But one of the best is that, because a woman has more control of her movement, she can stimulate her G-spot or cervix. She can subtly guide her partner to the spots where she feels pleasure through movement, without having to communicate verbally, especially during the Missionary Position.

Q: Do men get more excited in the Cowgirl Position?

A: Men can get excited with many sexual positions, but the unique charm about the Cowgirl Position is that it changes the dynamic. It gives the woman control and puts men in a different dynamic, which is often exciting and refreshing. So if your sex has become stale and your partner doesn’t seem as excited as they used to be, give it a try!

Q: My partner feels pain in the Cowgirl Position. Is there a good way to fix that?

A: When the angle of penetration in the Cowgirl Position is wrong, it can be painful for the male partner. To fix things, try arching your back and lifting your hips to find the right position. Don’t make too many sudden, harsh movements, as these are painful and also cause the penis to slip out. So don’t rush. Enjoy the moment and savor the sensations!

Q: I feel apprehensive about doing the Cowgirl Position right away

A: Like most new sexual positions, the Cowgirl Position can be a little challenging at first, and maybe even intimidating. So take things slow. Start off by straddling him while you cuddle. Kiss him. Lick his nipples, and slowly bring your sexual organ and his together. If you want to improve and feel more comfortable with the movements, you can practice with a cushion or pillow before trying it out on your partner!

Q: I want to enjoy the Cowgirl Position, but his stamina is…

A: If your partner’s stamina is lower than you’d like, using a vibrating cock ring can be a huge help. Cock rings not only improve a man’s stamina by delaying release, but also please a woman’s clitoris by vibrating against it, pleasing both partners at once. Most vibrating cock rings also allow the user to modify the vibration strength and frequency, making the Cowgirl Position more enjoyable and more dynamic.

Q: I’m not good at making circular motions with my hips in the Cowgirl Position

A: If you’re having trouble rotating your hips while on your knees, opening your legs in an M-shape makes moving your hips in this way much easier. Don’t just move in circles, but also move in figure-eight motions, which make the connected area easier to see, and drive men wild with plenty of eye candy.

Q: I’m bad at sexual positions, should I learn how to do the Cowgirl Position anyway?

A: If you don’t have a lot of sexual experience, the Cowgirl Position might be a bit tricky at first. But we promise that, after a few tries, you’ll get much better at it. If you’re a woman who doesn’t usually take the lead during intercourse, the Cowgirl Position is great at building your confidence, increasing your understanding of sexual pleasure, and giving you more experience. If you’re still having trouble, there’s no need to push yourself. It takes two to tango, after all, so ask your partner to cooperate!

Q: Is it true you can lose weight with the Cowgirl Position?

A: The Cowgirl Position isn’t guaranteed to help you lose weight but, while doing it, you do work out the muscles around your hips, thighs, and butt, so it’s definitely a form of exercise. It’s also said that, if you build lower-body strength, your metabolism may speed up, which makes it easier to lose weight. So if you like the Cowgirl Position, it could help you lose weight.

Q: I don’t feel confident while employing the Cowgirl Position. Can it still drive him wild?

A: If your confidence isn’t growing, experiment with different angles, movements, the position of your hips, and the depth of the insertion to find his pleasure points. Even without specific techniques or movements, many men are satisfied just by seeing their girlfriend or partner in sensual motion and enjoying herself.

Q: The regular Cowgirl Position is starting to feel unsatisfying, what can I do?

A: If the Cowgirl Position has become part of your routine and is starting to feel ordinary, try moving your hips while stimulating erogenous zones like his nipples or testicles. Touching your breasts or stimulating your clitoris can also heat things up for the both of you.

Q: I want to experience the Cowgirl Position when I masturbate, how can I do it?

A: You can employ the Cowgirl Position while using a vibrator. If you have a vibrator or dildo with a strong suction cup base, you can stick it to a smooth surface like the floor, a chair, or counter, and ride it for a realistic Cowgirl experience. Dildos or vibrators with a soft, skin-like texture feel more realistic.

Q: During the Cowgirl Position, what part of his girlfriend does a man look at?

A: Many guys look up at their partner’s breasts, but many also focus on the face, enjoying the look of pleasure on a woman’s face. But you can also enjoy the view! Look down at your partner’s eyes, and you’ll increase the intimacy between you.

Q: What if I’m scared of mounting him and inserting it myself?

A: Everyone feels nervous when they’re about to try any sexual position for the first time, including the Cowgirl. But if you slowly insert your partner’s penis yourself without putting too much strain on it, you’ll be fine. Using lube can help make the insertion smoother, so don’t worry about this too much!

Conclusion

We hope that this guide was of great help! Now you know much more about the Cowgirl Position, and you can go ahead and give it a try with your partner, but only before talking to them about it first! Remember, never try a new sex position with your partner without first getting their consent, and making sure they understand everything it will entail!

So talk to your partner first, then enjoy the fun and the new dynamic of being the one in control of your own pleasure!

Most people may have heard of clitoral orgasm, but some lack the information to achieve it.

Clitoral stimulation refers to having an orgasm by touching the clitoris.

We'll discuss everything in this guide, the things you need to know about clitoral orgasm, along with the techniques.

If you want to enjoy and have an orgasm using the clit, while increasing the sensitivity, continue reading this article for more.

What is Clitoral Orgasm?

Clitoral orgasm refers to reaching orgasm by touching or stimulating the clitoris. However, some people still may feel confused about how this body part works.

The clitoris, which is a unique part among women, usually swells and gets bigger when stimulated or subjected to friction. The location of the clitoris can be unique from each person. Moreover, the body typically reacts strongly when the protruding area–just above the urethral opening–is touched. The clitoris is the area where you feel this pleasurable stimulation.

If you have difficulty finding it, we recommend you to try the following steps:

• Locate the entrance to the vagina
• Gradually move your finger upward from the vaginal opening
• Locate the tip of the vaginal lamella
• If there is a lump at the tip of the vaginal opening, you have a clitoris. You can also locate the clitoris inside the turned up vaginal opening

The clitoris, like the glans, is very sensitive and will cause pain once being squeezed too hard.

However, it’s so pleasurable when the stimulation is done correctly.

The clitoris always plays an important role in the enjoyment of sex and self-pleasure, and a great body area to excite for pleasure.

The Sensation of Clitoral Stimulation

Clitoral stimulation is a pleasurable sensation you can feel radiating throughout the whole body.

Many women may have experienced clitoral arousal even if they’ve never heard of the term.

The level sensation of clitoral orgasm can vary, but many women describe the pleasant sensation–as if an electric current was flowing from the clitoris.

Clitoral stimulation is also a great way to reach an orgasm for a short time, and climax can occur as early as three to five minutes.

It’s also important to note that the time it takes to reach clitoral orgasm depends from one person to another, and the feel-good result can slightly vary.

There are various methods of clitoral stimulation–such as stimulating it with fingers or using a love toy. It’s advisable for you to find the stimulation method that suits you best.

How You Can Achieve Clitoral Arousal?

The following methods are recommended to develop clitoral arousal.

Before doing the clitoral stimulation, please make sure to wash your fingers and guarantee that they are clean.

Gently Stimulate the Clit Using Your Fingers

First, gently stimulate the area using your or your partner’s middle finger.

The direct touch could cause too much stimulation, so it’s recommended to stimulate it from the top area while wearing underwear.

By stroking gently, the clitoris will gradually become more and more harder–meaning it’s in a state of erection.

Touch It Gently Using a Circular Motion

When stimulating the clitoris, the key is using a soft touch in circular motion.

Also, since the area that feels good is different for each person, try alternating between clockwise and counterclockwise rotation.

Likewise, it’s best to repeatedly touch those areas that feel more stimulating.

Lightly Pinch the Clit to Stimulate

To further increase the sensitivity, try pinching  the area lightly.

By using your index and middle fingers, gently pinch it up and down, and you’ll feel a stronger sensation of pleasure.

However, make sure that the clitoris is erect before you pinch it.

If the clitoris is not erect, it may cause more discomfort than pleasure, so it’s better to make it erect first before pinching it for stimulation.

Stimulation by Pressing

Next, stimulating the area by pressing it with your fingers can give an even stronger sensation of pleasure.

However, if you press too hard–it can cause pain, so it’s recommended that you get used to the stimulation first, to some extent.

You can try pressing the base or beneath the clitoris using your middle finger to experience the change in stimulation.

Flick It With Your Fingers

There’s also a method to stimulate your clit by lightly flicking it with your fingers. However, it can be difficult to adjust the force, so it’s recommended to try the much gentler and easier techniques first.

Once you’re ready for a stronger sensation, you can now try flicking the sensitive area using your fingers–using a gradual intensity.

The clitoris is very delicate and sensitive even with the slightest stimulation, so try different ways to touch it and find what’s comfortable for you.

Once you’ve found the right tempo and pressure, you’ll be able to reach the climax and cum using only the clitoris.

Tips for Stimulating the Clitoris

Here are some tips you can use to make your clit stimulation successful.

Begin in a Relaxed State

If it’s hard for you to reach an orgasm using the clitoris, try to relax first, and prevent doing the stimulation in a tense state.

If you’re feeling tense, it’s difficult to become highly sensitive.

Using aromas with relaxing scents can also help to naturally calm your mind.

Moreover, soaking in a bathtub and warming up your body is also a good way to relax, so we recommend that you stimulate your clit after a bath.

Start with Gentle Strokes

The key to achieving an orgasm by stimulating the clitoris is to use the right pressure and frequency.

The clitoris is a very sensitive area, and even the lightest stimulation can lead to discomfort. 

Therefore, the right method to touch it is to do it very gently–be slow in the beginning and gradually increase it.

If you find a pleasure point that feels particularly good while experimenting with many touching techniques, you can focus on that area to successfully cum.

Try Different Positions

If you want to have a successful clitoral climax, it’s recommended that you try different positions and touching techniques.

Since each person's clitoris has a different sensation point, the most sensitive spots can differ for everyone.

You can try one of the following positions to find the one that feels best for you.

• Lying on your back
• Standing
• Sitting posture
• Prone position

If you think you have a low sensitivity, try to start with a relaxed position on your back.

After that, you can stimulate your clit in a standing position as well.

Stimulate the Clitoris and Nipples Together

If you’re experiencing trouble getting off from clitoral stimulation alone, you can try stimulating your nipples and clit simultaneously.

If you gently stimulate the nipples in the same way as you touch the clitoris, you’ll get double stimulation (upper and lower areas) to help increase your feeling of sensitivity.

Use Lotion or Lube

If you experience any discomfort when stimulating the clitoris, it’s recommended that you use lotion or lube–to increase moisture and decrease the friction.

If you stimulate the clitoris when it’s dry, the skin may rub roughly against the clit, which will eventually cause you pain rather than pleasure.

If you moisten it with lotion or lube before starting your session, the friction will reduce and make it more sensitive.

Always go for a product that’s suited for sensitive areas like the clitoris.

If you’re prone to dryness, use lotions or lubes with natural and moisturizing ingredients such as aloe or honey.

Love Toys Recommended for Clitoral Stimulation

Here are love toys recommended for clitoral arousal–those easy to use even for beginners–that come with feminine designs.

Remember, try using love goods that match your needs so you’ll enjoy stimulating your clitoris.

BeYourLover Fatima

Fatima is a ‘Dream All-in-One Vibrator’ that you can use not only for clitoral arousal but also for other forms of sexual stimulation.

Since the suction tip and the vibrator tip can be used separately, you can freely combine them whenever you want.

The suction tip and the insertion part can offer its users a warm stimulation, so you can feel a near-realistic pleasure from being sucked by lips.

Another factor is the soft silicone part gives an even more realistic sensation.

If you are not sure which love toy to choose, Fatima is a good choice for beginners.

The Fatima love toy also comes with a remote control feature, which is perfect for couples who are looking for more excitement.

BeYourLover Alberta

The Alberta (app version) is a suction rotor that comes with a really cute camera look.

The pearl white and rose gold color–a combination that stands out for its elegance–makes it easy to add to your collection, while being easy and comfortable to use.

Alberta can also be used in three ways: clitoral, between the stumps, and inside the vagina. 

Furthermore, Alberta gives its users that pleasurable feeling, so anyone can reach an orgasm.

The set also includes a special nipple clamp and vibrating rotor, to allow users a wider range of enjoyment compared with the previous Alberta.

The memory function also stores the last used vibration mode and suction mode, so the next time you start up the device, you’ll be able to enjoy it immediately rather than setting things up once again.

Another amazing feature of this product is that you can link it to an app, and by installing the free “BeYourLover” app, you can remotely control this love toy from a long distance.

If you want to experience a numbing and high-pressure orgasm deep inside your body and are looking for an easy-to-use love toy, you should definitely use Alberta.

Final Thoughts

After we explained how clitoral orgasm works, now, you have an idea how to achieve it by using the mentioned techniques.

The clitoris is a highly-sensitive part of the body, so it’s very easy to reach an orgasm once you learn how to use it efficiently.

If you want to reach a clitoral orgasm, it’s best to start with a gentle touch, and be careful to not suddenly stimulate it in a strong way. 

By starting in a relaxed state, stimulating the clit gently, trying different positions, touching the nipples, and using lotion or lube, you can achieve a pleasurable experience.

If you have trouble with your clitoral stimulation experience, you can always refer and try the tips above for better experience.