Have you ever wondered about the thrill of receiving or giving degradation? Then this guide will give you a further understanding about degradation kink. So, you can apply your kink safely and with consent.
You can think of it as adding a bit of “bad” in your bedroom, and it will surely feel oh-so-good.
Are you ready to get a little naughty?
For Starters, What is a Degradation Kink?
For now, let’s get down and dirty, but in a respectful way, of course.
Degradation kink, or degrade fetish, is about getting turned on, especially during sex, by being treated in a bad way. You can think of this kink as the cousin of praise, where the phrase “you’re such a slut” is a compliment.
It basically means that if a person gets thrilled when being verbally bossed around or playfully insulted by their partner, then there’s a great chance that this person has a degradation kink.
Degradation kink can range from calling names (the fun kind!) to being forced to beg for pleasure. The agreement between partners always plays a role beforehand. You can imagine it like a sexy game, where dominance and submission are involved, as well as safe words.
Degradation vs. Humiliation
Although the both of them can overlap and are often used in BDSM play, they can be distinct in some way.
The goal of degradation kink is to strip away the dignity of a person. The dominant partner can:
- Call their submissive partner names
- Treat them like objects
- Belittle them
But with humiliation kink, a dom can take advantage of the sub’s feeling of inferiority and vulnerability. And the dominant partner exposes the submissive one to make them feel awkward or lower.
To keep it simple, degradation kink focuses on ripping off someone else’s dignity, while humiliation kink focuses more on emotional factors.
Some People Like to Get Degraded… In a Sexual Way
Yes, you read that right. It may sound a little wild for some folks. But for others, getting degraded during sex can be a huge turn-on. Especially if the couples prefer to add some spicy “wrongness” in the bedroom.
Among the 1026 participants surveyed by ResearchGate, 70% of the group find degradation play enjoyable. As it gives a variation to normal, vanilla sex.
Let’s find out if you’re part of the group.
Masochistic Reasons
The people who often have masochistic streaks, or like to be submissive, can fall in this category. As most of these people enjoy receiving pain.
They get sexually aroused, too, because degradation is a strong emotion. When you feel anxious or scared, it also arouses the nervous system, doesn’t it?
However, the latter doesn’t mean it’s sexual. And your physical body and mental state are so attentive during this moment. But for people with a degradation kink, fear and anxiety opened new doors for them.
Sadistic Reasons
In contrast with masochists, sadistic partners enjoy degrading their partners during sex. This gives them the feeling of power. But surely, they’re still mindful of not harming their partners. Sadistic sex is great and usually safe. As long as they have mastered the art of it.
To give your masochist partner a toe-curling orgasm they’ll never forget, you should put your degradation kink to good use.
Taking Control
Degrading your partner for erotic play can give you the feeling of power and control. It’s like forcing your partner, with consent of course, and leaving them no choice. And you will be the person to blame once they like it (wink!).
The Most Common Types of Degradation Kink
Here you can find the most common acts. Below is also a list of ideas to keep things on the safe side.
Public Degradation
Before degrading your partner publicly, please make sure that the both of you have decided about your limits. Discuss them first with your partner before anything.
And if you’re going for a daring display or doing stuff in front of an audience, make sure you both agree every step of the way.
Verbal Degradation
Using verbal degradation can add more dynamic during sex, rather than using dirty talk all the time. Allowing yourself to be called “worthless” if you’re a masochist during sex will surely make you feel sexually degraded.
And if you’re leaning on the sadistic side, the creative nicknames will surely add spice. These feelings can be intense for someone with a degradation kink. Surely, these words will help them reach an orgasm even with minimal physical stimulation.
Objectification
Can you imagine treating your partner as a table to eat on, as a toy, or as a pet? Then, you could have a degradation kink. Giving disrespectful sex feels great for people with sadistic tendencies. However, from using sex toys to objectification, all of these demands informed consent.
The Use of Body Fluids
Well, some people like degradation so much that they even enjoy golden showers and being spat on. But these erotic acts, like the previous ones, should be done with consent between partners.
Please remember that you can still contract disease through contact with someone else’s body fluids, as stated on ABC. So, it’s better to always be cautious.
Degradation Kink Phrases and Examples That You Can Use
For degrading things to say and do during sex, you can use the following ideas to incorporate this play in your bedroom.
Phrases You Can Use
- “Never speak with anyone while we’re out.”
- “I’d like you to wear those pants with no undies.”
- “Keep your head down while in public. I don’t want anyone to see me with you.”
- “You don’t deserve me because you’re useless!”
- “Other people should see what I’m doing with you. You’re into that, aren’t you?”
Degradation Kink Examples
You already have an idea about the phrases that you can use during your kinky play. Guaranteed, these examples below can help you get started.
Force Your Partner to Beg
Isn’t it great seeing your partner begging to let them orgasm, from a sadist’s point of view? You can make them plead for everything, not just during sex. Be creative when giving your partner restrictions to always get you in control.
Make them Ask for Permission
From using the bathroom, masturbating, to using their phone with your permission first—you name it. Getting your approval first for everything can offer you great opportunities to degrade them more.
Do Some Role-Play
You can also use the benefit of role-playing to give your play a more concrete dynamic. For example, you can use a boss-employee relationship to punish the submissive partner for not meeting their deadlines on time.
Body Worship
It’s best to remind your partner that you’re the boss by letting them indulge in every area of your body. You can say, “You really like my nipples, don’t you? Like the twisted slut that you are.” Works great for a partner with a perverted imagination.
Treat Them Like an Object
One of the best things that degradation can offer is you can treat your partner like an object. If that’s your thing, you can make your partner act out on degrading sex positions.
You can order them to become your table, an ashtray, or even a toilet during your play. Nothing can be more degrading than treating someone as an object to use. Aside from acting like an object, you can also make them do these things:
- Watch them while using the toilet
- Make your partner wear collars like a dog, a sign of ownership
- Deny them sex, where you can also use a chastity device
- Anal penetration using toys
- Force them to cross-dress
- Watch them masturbate
- Scold them like a child
- Require your partner to use honorifics
- Criticize a body part
- Embarrass and insult them
- Cover them in food
In a confession story made by an anonymous user at confessionstories.org, this person even enjoyed fecal play during degradation. They even have their partner record their moments for them.
It can be a surprising thing for some people, but there are folks out there who really get off from these types of scenarios.
Degradation Kink and Its Benefits
Do you know that degradation during sex can be beneficial in a relationship?
Get Closer, Feel Deeper
Having a degradation kink can make you feel closer to your partner. Because it opens doors to talk openly about everything that you want, it builds trust between you. It’s like sharing a secret that only the two of you can understand.
You Can Talk Things Out
Want to stay safe and have fun? Discuss with your partner what you both like and what you don’t. You both decide what actions and words are okay.
Experiment Together
Degradation can be an exciting adventure because it allows you and your partner to try different scenarios and roles. Just keep an open mind and be ready to adapt along the way.
How You Can Apply Your Degradation Kink Safely
Before you dive in and start snatching away your partner’s dignity, consider these tips to keep things fun and safe for the both of you.
- Set the Stage - First, as mentioned previously, have a chat with your partner and talk about consent and boundaries. Choose a safe word that you don’t always mention or talk about. So you’ll prevent yourself from saying it in the heat of the moment.
- Start Slow - You can start with teasing or saying how they love being used. Then you can just gradually increase your degrading dirty talk. It’s like dipping your toes in the water first before splashing in.
- Level Things Up - Once the two of you start to feel comfortable, try using a stronger language. You can also give your partner a more intense command, as long as it feels good for you both.
- Don’t Forget the Aftercare - After each steamy session, don’t forget to show each other some love. This is the best part to discuss what you liked or just talk about your emotions.
- Keep It Clean - Your bodies, toys, and bed sheets may need an extra good wash afterward. Especially if you incorporate body fluids during your play. It may not be the sexiest part, but it keeps things hygienic to prevent infection transfer.
Degradation Kink for a Deeper Connection
Degradation kink can be a good way to spice things up and get closer to your partner. Putting your kink out in the open is all about exploration, talking things together, and being respectful of boundaries.
Don’t forget to follow the mentioned tips for a healthier experience, and remember that a seemingly embarrassing kink is nothing to be ashamed of.
If you’re ready to try new things, just make sure that the both of you are happy and safe.
Special Thanks To:
- Menelaos Apostolou, Writer and Researcher, ResearchGate, University of Nicosia
- Michalis Khalil, Writer and Researcher, ResearchGate, University of Nicosia
- Dee Salmin, Writer, ABC
- Mistress Tokyo, Dominatrix