The two most popular types would be the pleasure and sadistic dom—and they can be similar and different at the same time when applying their techniques.

So, if ever you’re curious about how these two can differ in approach and power, let’s break down these play styles to help you find out what fits your desires and boundaries.

What’s the Difference Between a Pleasure Dom and a Sadistic Dom?

When it comes to playing the art of BDSM, not all dominant partners are the same, and these two popular styles can both offer different experiences.

If one partner wants to give the other that maximum pleasure and enjoyment, then a pleasure dom always comes into the picture. Yet, despite pleasure, their power often comes with control.

In pleasure play, you can think of teasing, giving their partner lots of attention, and even orgasm control. And the goal? It’s always to make their submissive partner feel amazing, which goes both emotionally and physically. Pleasure doms usually:

• Give pleasure to their partner with emotional care
• Tease, but often sensual and nurturing
• Gives gentle pain
• Care more by offering comfort
• Focus more on physical and emotional bonding

But never let your guard down, because, as shared by the Reddit user tamed-lamb, pleasure doms can sometimes be more intense than actual sadists. They just tend to work their way up to give you that delicious, epic finish.

On the other hand, a sadistic dom enjoys pushing the limits most of the time. But this is through consensual play and pain and not something that you can do without care.

It’s all about exploring this thrilling thing that can put you on the edge, and during play, these doms can also use impact play, discipline, or psychological games as their styles of play. If you decide to play with a sadistic partner, you can encounter:

• Intense pain exploration
• Impact play, discipline, and even intense edging
• Pain that’s longer and more intentional
• More recovery during aftercare

But no matter what style you settle on, both can demand a high level of trust and the right communication—because it can involve pushing those boundaries. So, it’s always best to keep everyone feeling not only safe but also connected.

The Pleasure and Pain During Power Dynamics

Power dynamics can be a fascinating thing—they can tap into something deeply human. And because it can involve the right balance of control, trust, and vulnerability, pleasure and pain are often seen as forces that can shape how we connect.

But for folks who haven’t tried BDSM play yet, you might ask yourselves, how can pain feel pleasurable? 

As humans, we feel pain because it acts like a sort of “warning system” to prevent damaging our bodies. And scientifically speaking, pleasure and pain are both feelings that are tied to the same parts of the brain’s reward system.

In fact, according to Maria Cohut of Medical News Today, both pain and pleasure can even activate the same neural mechanism we can find in our brains.

So, to keep it simple, some people like to experience pain to feel that “high,” especially during sexual arousal, because it’s tied to primal pleasure that no other sensation can offer.

How a Pleasure Dom and a Sadistic Dom Play

Usually when it comes to dominance, both pleasure and sadistic doms can be the same by taking dominant roles. But how they want their powers to be felt by their partners can feel quite different. 

Pleasure Doms and Their Art of Sensuality

If you prefer a pleasure dom as a partner, you can see them like this maestro who can conduct a symphony of different sensations. Why do they leave you breathless and craving for more? 

• Uses Gentle Edging and Orgasm Control - To put their submissive partner on the edge of climax, they tease and pleasure them, then pull back. This technique can give that delicious tension and make the final release more arousing and explosive—all in the name of anticipation.
• Sensory Play - Most pleasure doms use sensory play to give every touch that electrifying feeling. They usually use ice cubes, feather-light brushes, or arousing whispers to heighten their partner’s senses.
• Toys - From vibrators to massage oils, they like to expand their ways to give pleasure with a bit of deprivation.
• Connection - This might be what sets them apart the most. They tend to focus more on their partner’s responses so they can turn their bond into a more loving contact.

Sadistic Doms—The More Daring, the Better

Now, you can picture a sadistic dom as a daring explorer, because they love pushing boundaries, so a huge amount of trust is needed to match their intense, raw emotions.

• Impact Play - During impact play, sadistic doms usually prefer using floggers, paddles, or their own hands to give deliberate, measured sensations. Because their play involves a sharp feeling of pain to release endorphins, it can turn pain into a rush of pleasure.
• Discipline and Punishment - Sadistic doms are also into teasing, along with spanking and strict rules to show their power and control. And because these moments can deepen the dynamic, it can help heighten the emotional intensity felt by both partners.
• Sensory Deprivation - Compared with pleasure doms, sadistic doms prefer using blindfolds and even gags to their partners for a heightened vulnerability—to give them that superior feeling.
• Temperature and Clamp Play - Using hot wax to drip on the skin or ice cubes to give a different sensation, sadistic doms use these methods to test their partner’s limits. They also have clamps on hand to pinch and tease those sensitive spots. 
• Emotional Power Play - Aside from physical sensations, sadistic play also uses vulnerability and trust to control their partner. Their satisfaction can also often come from fierce control, and they prefer giving pain that’s more central.

Things to Consider as a Dom Before Your Next Play

Are you ready to step into your next scene as a confident and skilled dominant partner? Well, when we say “dominance,” it isn’t just about taking control, but it’s about creating memories that are worthy to treasure, that were built using trust, respect, and consent.

So, whether you’re after something fresh or just looking for something to level things up, the following are must-know essentials that you should know before diving in.

Own Your Thing!

Being a dom doesn’t mean that you can just boss around anyone—it’s okay to live your fantasies, but remember, please do it with care in mind. Always treat your role as sacred, because you hold your partner’s full trust in your hand.

Your job is to respect and protect boundaries and guide your sub to a place where they can feel safe and desired but satisfied.

Speak the Language

Get fluent using the lingo! When speaking the language of BDSM, using safe words plays a vital role during play, and this isn’t just for show, because this is a roadmap to clear and confident communication.

Define Your Style

Do you see yourself as a teasing pleasure dom or a firm sadistic dom, or somewhere in between?

You can always take your time to explore what kind of dom vibes you have that match your personality and desires. It’s best to be authentic, because it can help you stay within your limits and keep your partner’s experience on point. 

Communication is Your Superpower

Before any play begins, please try to talk openly to your partner about what you both want, and please make the signals clear when setting limits, especially when exploring your next intense scenes.

Understand Your Sub Well

What drives your submissive partner? Some may crave emotional connection, while others seek the thrill of feeling pain while getting off, and by tuning into their motivations, you can address your partner’s deepest needs a whole lot better.

Make Your Space (and Head) Ready

Being a dominant partner can take a lot of focus and energy. So, before playing, you can clear your mind first from distractions to help use your techniques and tools properly.

Being mentally and physically prepared can really set the stage for a smoother, more powerful, and more conscious play.

Respect Limits

Even some of the best-laid plans can shift, so your sub can be highly likely to feel uneasy mid-scene. 

Stay flexible, honor their limits, and be ready to pause or stop the play. Like in most plays, respect is the foundation of every lasting dynamic.

Nail the Aftercare

The aftercare isn’t an option but rather an essential part of the game. Whether it’s giving cuddles or soothing words, aftercare can give your sub a moment to process their feelings and reinforces the connection between you.

And do you know that aftercare makes the sex feel more satisfying? As stated by Stephanie McCartney of Sexual Health Alliance, aftercare can even extend the feeling of intimacy and help dissipate the feelings of negative emotions.

Keep Learning

Don’t be too hard on yourself; no dom is perfect upon their first try. To level up your skills, you can engage in a community, read, and even attend workshops to become better.

How to Tell Which Dom Style Fits You Best

When finding your style, it’s all about what feels natural for you. Not sure where you fit in? 

• Tune into your personality by asking yourself if you’re the caring type or a tester of boundaries.
• What kind of control can help you get fired up? Are you the type who likes to always take charge?
• If you like soft, nurturing control, you might want to keep things light. But if you’re drawn to harder punishments, you could lean toward a more sadistic style.
• If you can’t find the perfect style right away, you can always try both to see what sticks by experimenting with different roles, toys, or scenes to grow and learn more about yourself.
• Listen to what your partner likes and always lead with consent and respect. Because no matter your style, the foundation will always be the same, and your dom play should build connection and not break it.

Embracing the Power and Pleasure of Each Dom Style

Every dom style can bring something special to the table, whether you choose the slow and teasing control or a more thrilling and intense one.

But that’s the selling point of BDSM—there’s no perfect way to lead it! Remember, everything is all about finding what eventually will work best for you and your sub, so you can get creative in the bedroom with trust and presence of mind.

It’s best to embrace dom style with honesty and confidence, and clear communication will always play a huge factor above all, so you can celebrate dominance and explore what excites you in a way that feels real and genuine.

Now, you’ve heard the term “pleasure dom,” and you’re now wondering: Is it really what it sounds like? Could this be your kind of BDSM? 

If you’re someone who wants to be in control of your partner’s pleasure without inflicting pain or imposing rigid rules and discipline, this lifestyle might be right up your alley.

Also, if you’re a submissive who is not into the extreme side of BDSM but still longs for someone to take control of your pleasure, then a pleasure dom might be exactly what you’re looking for. 

But maybe you’ve only heard the term in passing, and you’re not sure what it actually means. What is a pleasure dom? And how do you become one?

The Different Kinds of Dom

Since you’re here, chances are you already know the ‘dom’ and ‘sub’ terms. But did you know that there are actually different kinds of doms? 

Some sex and BDSM educators, like Evie Lupine, believe that labels like these aren’t something you pick for yourself. They’re more like reputations you earn within the community:  

“Usually, those terms don’t get their own new capital letter label. We don’t yet anyways have people going around, saying ‘I’m a medical dom, I’m a flogger dom…’ I would say in the real-life community, people do get reputations for doing certain things like, ‘Oh yeah, that’s the fire play guy, that’s the wedded messy top’ like people do have things they get a reputation for, but that tends to be a label or a descriptor that the community puts on someone because of that on what they seem doing versus a preemptive label that would be used in something like a dating profile.” - Evie Lupine

That said, she also acknowledges that labels can still be helpful, especially when it comes to compatibility. If someone calls themselves a pleasure dom, it gives the other person a clear idea of what they’re into or what they’re not. 

Here are the other dom types you might come across:

• Sadist: Enjoys inflicting pain on a willing partner (usually a masochist who finds pleasure in receiving pain)

• Daddy Dom: Plays like a parental authority. There’s usually affection involved in their relationship with their sub.

• Rigger: Gets satisfaction from tying up their sub in rope bondage, such as in shibari and kinbaku styles.

• Master: Expects total obedience and often establishes strict to their sub, aka their slave.

• Trainer (Owner): Treats a sub like a pet or trainee, often guiding them through different BDSM practices. 

• Brat Tamer: Loves the challenge of a rebellious sub who pushes boundaries and plays mischievous. 

• Primal Dom: Embraces their instinct and animalistic energy (think growing, wrestling, and biting) 

• Service Dom: Gives commands or tasks that can be sexual (like giving oral) or practical (household chores).

• Soft Dom. Gentle but still in control. This dom uses nurture, encouragement, and emotional connection instead of whips and paddles. 

In this article, we’re focusing on one in particular: the pleasure dom. The others are for another story.

What Is a Pleasure Dom?

A pleasure dom shares the core values of any good Dom: communication, consent, and safety. But their main focus is guiding their partner through intense, controlled pleasure. 

Yes, some elements of traditional BDSM might still be involved: bondage, torture, humiliation, and safe words. But the purpose isn’t to punish but to build anticipation, edge pleasure, and strengthen intimacy. 

Is the Pleasure Dom Lifestyle for You

Pleasure doms aren’t what the mainstream BDSM usually shows us, but they’re still very much part of the community. It still includes dominance, submission, bondage, sensory play, and even sadism and masochism sometimes. 

The key difference? Pleasure is the tool of control, not pain, rules, or humiliation. 

This lifestyle is for you if:

• You’re intrigued by BDSM but don’t love the rougher, pain-forward side of it.

• You want to spice things up with a partner without diving into intense kink scenes.

• You enjoy being (or having) someone in control—especially when it comes to pleasure.

And even if you don’t identify as kinky, exploring this dynamic can bring serious benefits to your relationship. According to Very Well Mind, BDSM can:

• Reduce stress

• Improve communication

• Deepen trust

• Improve mental health

What Are the Challenges of Being a Pleasure Dom

Being a pleasure dom comes with its rewards, but let’s be honest. It can be challenging too. Many of the same issues that other BDSM doms face also apply here. So, if you really want to step into this role, here are some of the roadblocks that you might face:

Making Your Partner Open Up

Not everyone is immediately comfortable expressing their desires—especially if they’re new to BDSM. Some people are naturally shy, while others are people-pleasers who go along with whatever their Dom wants, even if it’s not really what they really want.

As a Pleasure Dom, creating space for your sub to open up is important. The better you understand what feels good for them, the more powerful and pleasurable your control becomes.

Emotional Triggers

This is especially important if you're engaging in casual or one-time BDSM scenes. You might not know your partner very well yet, and certain physical or emotional triggers could show up unexpectedly.

Reading your partner’s body language, facial expressions, and energy shifts is key. Always have a safeword and encourage honest feedback before, during, and after play.

Keeping Things Exciting

Here’s the truth, doing the same technique over and over can turn from exciting to... meh. One of the common pitfalls Pleasure Doms face is running out of fresh ideas.

To keep the heat alive, keep learning. Watch videos, read kinky content, and stay curious about what makes your partner achieve the big O.

Challenging the BDSM Stigma

Let’s face it, people have opinions. And when it comes to kink, some of them are loud, judgmental, and uninformed.

There will always be outsiders who don’t “get it.” But remember, your pleasure, safety, and connection matter more than anyone else’s opinion. What happens between you and your partner is yours, and no one else has the right to define it.

How to Become a Pleasure Dom?

So you’ve decided that this is your vibe. But before you grab your flogger and dim the lights, let’s talk about what it takes to be a Pleasure Dom.

Learn the Basics of BDSM

Since being a Pleasure Dom falls under the larger BDSM umbrella, it’s just reasonable to learn the BDSM basics. Many techniques, tools, and safety principles overlap across all Dom labels.

BDSM is more than just sex, it's a lifestyle. You’ll learn how to establish boundaries, create contracts (yes, really), and communicate. Think of this as learning the rules of the playground before you start swinging from the monkey bars.

Know What Makes a Good Pleasure Dom

Being a dom in general is a responsibility. It’s not just you wielding your power however you like.  Without care and consent, you’re not dominating, you’re harming. So here’s what makes a great pleasure dom:

• Empathy: Tune into your partner’s verbal and non-verbal cues.

• Communication skills: Make it easy for your sub to express boundaries and discomfort.

• Knowledge: The more you know, the more confident and creative you can be. 

• Creativity: Keep things spicy, playful, and unexpected.

• Patience: Some people are still figuring out their bodies. Be the guide, not the judge. 

Learn From the Pros

There are so many ways to level up your Dom game. You can watch videos, read guides, and most importantly, pay attention during your own play sessions. What made your partner moan? What made them hesitate?

Joining BDSM forums or online communities can give you insider tips, inspiration, and real-life advice you won’t find in mainstream media.

Make Your Sub Feel Comfortable

Your sub needs to feel safe, seen, and heard. Encourage open conversations about fantasies, kinks, boundaries, and yes, discomforts.

Never yuck someone’s yum. Being a Pleasure Dom means helping your sub reach orgasmic heights, and that starts with emotional security. 

Get to Know Their Body (Even More Than They Do)

A lot of people don’t fully understand their own bodies or what turns them on. That’s where you come in.

Explore together. Tease. Ask questions. Notice patterns. Your goal is to be so in tune with their pleasure that it feels like you’re reading their mind.

Take the Lead

You’re the Dom, own it. Learn how to use techniques that reward, tease, and build tension. You’ll find specific techniques later.

Prepare the Toys

BDSM without toys? It’s missing a huge part of the fun. Invest in a solid bondage kit, masturbators, or vibrators. Just make sure everything is body-safe, sanitized, and most importantly, approved by your sub. 

Don’t Skip the Aftercare

Yes, being a Pleasure Dom is on the softer side of BDSM. But don’t let that fool you. Pleasure can be intense.

Take it from one Reddit user:

“Pleasure doms have a vendetta against their sub's ability to walk. Or at least mine sure does. Make ya cum so many times you forget your name, your birthday, or your social!

The post I saw the other day said they wield pleasure like a weapon. Impact player have floggers and pleasure doms have orgasms.” - BadFrenchToasts

Like BadFrenchToasts, many subs say they’ve been left in a delicious puddle of overstimulation after play.

If that’s the case, check in. Make sure that they feel grounded, safe, hydrated, and cared for. 

Techniques You Can Try As a Pleasure Dom

As BadFrenchToasts said, pleasure doms wield pleasure like a weapon, and that’s the energy you want to go for. Here’s how to use your power:

Spanking

Whether you’re delivering playful taps or something more intense, spanking can build tension and heighten pleasure. Just remember, it’s all about what feels good (and safe) for your sub. Keep communication open and always check in.

Sensory Stimulation 

Blindfolds. Ice cubes. Soft feathers. Candle wax. A silky scarf over their eyes while you whisper what’s coming next. Or nothing but slow, sensual music in the background as you explore every inch of their skin.

The trick? Engage multiple senses while keeping them guessing. Tease. Deny. Surprise.

Edging

This is the game of "not yet." Bring your partner right to the edge of orgasm, then back off. Do it again and again. Until they’re shaking with anticipation.

When you finally give them release? Fireworks. Every. Single. Time.

Orgasm Torture

This one’s for more advanced players. Too many orgasms, or holding one off for too long, can push your partner to the point where pleasure and pain blur beautifully.

As always, communication and consent are non-negotiable. But if done right, you’ll leave them weak in the knees and maybe even unable to walk.

Want to learn more? Check out this must-watch video from BDSM educator Evie Lupine. She breaks it all down with clarity, safety, and real-world tips.

Become Your Partner's Orgasm God

Being a Pleasure Dom may not be about barking orders or laying down strict rules, but still, you have the power to guide, tease, and give your sub pleasure they will never forget. 

It’s about creating scenarios where your sub is dripping with anticipation, breathless at your touch, and begging for release. This power will make you irresistible, and moreover, will improve your bond and relationship.

Ready to explore more? Visit beyourlover.com and discover tools, tips, and toys that’ll help you wield your power. 

Special thanks to: 

• Very Well Mind
• BadFrenchToasts, Reddit user and pleasure sub
• Evie Lupine, sex educator and BDSM expert. 

It’s not a surprising statistic, though. As consenting adults, you are free to spice up your romance in the bedroom with some kinks. A 2020 study even claims that many people find BDSM activities sexually arousing.

If you are interested in this lifestyle, it’s important to be clear on what it entails.

Knowing the ins and outs of BDSM ensures that your relationship with your partner remains fun and satisfying. It also minimizes risks that could lead to accidents or even legal trouble.

What Is BDSM?

BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism, but not all elements need to be present for an act to be considered BDSM. It’s an umbrella term encompassing bondage and discipline (B/D), dominance and submission (D/s), and sadism and masochism (S/M).

One, two, or all of these aspects can exist in a BDSM relationship.

BDSM is a lifestyle where kinks or unconventional fetishes exist. Control, pain, and restraints may be involved. When done correctly, the result is a satisfying and fun relationship, strengthening the bond between partners. 

Mutual understanding also improves as open communication becomes essential.

There is no right or wrong way to engage in BDSM. Your kink is your kink. Whether you are into scat play or a golden shower, you do you. However, three elements are indispensable:

• Consent
• Safety
• Communication

Without these, it’s not BDSM at all.

What BDSM Is Not? 

 BDSM Red Bondage Kit

Not everyone is into BDSM, and many people unfamiliar with it have misconceptions about this lifestyle.

If you want to engage in BDSM, it’s important to clear up these misunderstandings to avoid accidents or even lawsuits.

BDSM Is Not an Excuse for Abuse or Assault 

In 2015, a college student was accused of raping a classmate. His alibi was that he was reenacting scenes from “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

It was consensual at first when the classmate willingly stripped her clothes and allowed him to blindfold her. However, things took a dark turn when he struck her with his belt and fists.

When she managed to free one arm and attempted to flee, he restrained her again and raped her.

This incident is one of many cases where perpetrators use BDSM as an excuse to commit crimes and abuse. But BDSM is not rape, abuse, or assault, it is a lifestyle where the word "no" is respected.

BDSM is based on mutual consent and clear agreements between sober adults.

BDSM Is Not a Mental Illness

There was a time when BDSM was considered a mental disorder or a response to psychological distress. If this were true, then 47% of people (as mentioned earlier) would be considered mentally ill.

However, this perception has changed.

According to The Atlantic, in 2010, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) announced that it would revise its diagnostic codes in the 2013 edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).

This time, consenting adults who engage in non-conventional sexual behaviors (kinks) are no longer deemed as mentally ill. 

BDSM Is Not Just a Sexual Fetish

While BDSM can be a kink or sexual fetish, it’s more than just sex.

As mentioned before, BDSM is a lifestyle.

A couple, friends, or even two consenting adults can engage in BDSM without having sex. You’ll understand this better as we delve into the three main aspects of BDSM.

The 3 Main Aspects of BDSM

BDSM is an umbrella term for kinks and unconventional sexual practices that may involve pain, bondage, and dominant-submissive roleplay.

Here’s a closer look at the three aspects of BDSM:

1. Bondage and Discipline

Bondage refers to the use of physical restraints, such as sex handcuffs, ropes, chains, or fabric, to limit movement. However, restraints don’t always have to be physical. Sometimes, a submissive assumes a restrictive position as instructed by their dominant.

Bondage can be light, such as tying a partner’s hands, or intricate, like the Japanese bondage art of shibari and kinbaku.

The purpose of bondage can be erotic or aesthetic. It can be for sexual pleasure, photography, or showcasing a submissive at BDSM events.

Discipline, on the other hand, refers to mental restraints, where rules and protocols govern behavior.

For example, rules may dictate:

• The submissive’s schedule
• How they behave in certain settings
• How they address the dominant (e.g., “Master” or “Sir”)
• What they wear
• Failure to follow these rules results in punishments, such as kneeling for a certain period, assuming a human furniture position, or receiving a spanking.

While bondage and discipline often go hand in hand, they don’t always have to.

2. Dominance and Submission

Dominance and submission is also known as a D/s relationship. The dominant partner is the one in control and the submissive partner grants this control. 

The dominant player is also known as the dom, master, or top in the relationship. If the dom is female she is also known as the dominatrix or mistress. Throughout this article, we will refer to the dominants as doms. 

Meanwhile, the submissive in the relationship is also known as the sub, bottom, or slave. In this article, we will refer to the submissives as subs. 

Although there seems to be a superior and inferior relationship, it is consensual and beneficial for both of them.

Despite having control, a dom is responsible for their sub’s well-being. They must respect the sub’s limits and needs.

Meanwhile, the sub has more power than people think. They determine how much control the dom is allowed to have.

For an inside look at a D/s relationship, check out this interview with Master Berlin and Slave Angel Blue:

3. Sadism and Masochism

Sadism and masochism is also known as S&M or sadomasochism. Sadism refers to the pleasure of inflicting pain, humiliation, or degradation, whereas masochism refers to the pleasure of receiving pain, suffering or humiliation. 

Contrary to popular belief, S&M is not required in BDSM. Not all doms are sadists, and not all Subs are masochists.

Additionally, pain and humiliation do not excuse abuse or assault. BDSM still follows the principle of consent.

Pain in S&M can be:

• Mental (e.g., being called "slut," "whore," or "cumdump")
• Physical (e.g., spanking, whipping, or cock-and-ball torture [CBT])

Since S&M is intense and potentially dangerous, safety should be more observed. Before engaging in this relationship, both the sadist and the masochist should know their personal limits. 

6 Protips and Techniques for a Successful BDSM Lifestyle

  BDSM Green Bondage Kit

For a starter, the following tips and techniques are most basic things that you should know to be successful this lifestyle:

1. Always Ask for Consent

You might say that this is a no-brainer rule in BDSM, but some people still use BDSM as an excuse to demand sex without consent. 

Consent may be verbal or non-verbal. The doms need to pick up on a sub's non-verbal cues, especially when the latter is gagged and unable to speak.

2. Be Prepared

Always keep a first-aid kit, scissors, or handcuff keys nearby. You don’t want the sub to end up like Jessie in Gerald’s Game, where her husband died while she was bound and helpless. Being prepared helps prevent accidents like this.

Also, learning CPR is especially useful for doms and sadists.

3. Ensure Clear Communication

“We made a contract. And he collared me and I signed a contract… Yes, we both signed it and it’s a lifetime-and-beyond contract.” - Angel Blue

It's best to create a contract that both of you can sign. This contract can be revisited if you or your partner want to make changes.

In a dom/sub relationship, there’s no room for fear, shyness, or hesitation. You should communicate your desires, wants, and needs with your partner. Set clear boundaries that neither of you should cross.

If you are the sub, be sure to communicate any medical conditions or past traumatic experiences that could be triggered during play.

4. The Sub Is the Dom’s Responsibility

“And because there are no limits, that means I have to exercise my authority responsibly. It’s not like I’m some kind of a little tyrant or who would exercise that authority in an injurious manner. I could, but I won’t” - Berlin

In 2016, John Broadhurst neglected his aftercare duty to his partner after rough sex. He was charged with manslaughter because of this. Although the sex was consensual, things went wrong when he left his partner, Natalie Connolly, bleeding to death.

If you are a dom or a sadist, be attuned to your partner’s needs. What you inflict is your responsibility.

5. Engage With a Sober and Clear Mind

Do engage in play if you are intoxicated. 

Many BDSM scenes and sexual encounters have resulted in lawsuits or fatal accidents because the dom was under the influence. Broadhurst is an example of this.

6. Do Your Research and Training

If you are new to BDSM, it’s important to do your research, especially if you are into sadism and masochism.

Learn how to inflict pain in a way that does not put your partner in danger. Also, start practicing on a plushie or toy before attempting it on a real person.

Final Thoughts

You might be curious about the BDSM lifestyle. However, accept that everyone is not into it, and some may even judge it. This could include old-fashioned or religious individuals in your community. 

What matters is your relationship with your partner. What happens between you does not need to involve others, no matter how hard they judge. 

The bottom line is that your BDSM activities should always revolve around consent, safety, and communication to ensure a successful and fun experience.

If you’re ready to explore this world, consider trying BDSM by browsing our website, our BDSM Kit is perfect for beginners.